ISSUE13—小语种与政府保护--请求大家赐教~！

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

改了改，还是烂文一篇，不过应该会越来越好，沙发和板凳的帮助很大，谢谢。

13.题目：many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The government of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages form becoming extinct

There is no denying that the vanishing lesser-known languages negatively result from the reduction  of population who speak . Simultaneously, it is reasonable that the government has the obligation to prevent the endangered languages from being extinction, in the light of culture protection. However, in my perspective, a contrary view reveals the speaker's assertion above is ill-considered and logical-confused, while considering the genuine reasons leading to such a situation today, and unpredictable consequences government protection would bring about.

It is necessary to define lesser-known languages at first. As far as i concerned, a language which can be marked as "less-known" should have three characteristics at least.Firstly, a lesser-known language owns a comparatively much smaller amount of currently living speakers.Secondly, it lacks future potential speakers. Lastly, a lesser-known language is struggling for getting away from present endangered situation, while being without any protection.

Admittedly, by expanding the scope of language speakers and handing down a language from a generation to another,the substantial existence of people preserves a language as a kind of recording media. It also means that the decrease of population who speak different languages, to a great extent, brings about more and more lesser-known languages.Such as Ainu in Hokkaido,Japan, may have tens of thousands of speakers but now be endangered because children are no longer learning them.The decline in the number of speakers largely causes the process of stretching the national language to the breaking point

At the same time, the government, under the obligation to protect the culture of its own country, surely should prevent lesser-known languages from being lost ,for languages are intangible wealth of various cultures.Current situations are rich of such examples.In China, a few professional groups of Manchu language ,established by government, try to revive the language of their ancestors using available dictionaries and textbooks, and even occasional visit to the areas where the related ancient language is still spoken natively.Official attempts to revive endangered languages, such as the promotion of Irish in the Republic and Northern Ireland , Welsh in Wales, have also met with mixed success by hold activities relate to learning lesser-known languages .The government's effort,in the aspect of recording current language information and encouraging potential speakers,especially the youth,will have a positive effect on cultural protection in the long term.

However, by the contrast, the speaker's assertion is on insufficient grounds, while tracing back to the original reasons result in lesser-known languages. Public policy and cultural aggression, for example,can also be complicated reasons to endanger originally independent languages.Rather than regretting about the dying out languages, it is more comprehensible to regard the course as an irreversible and natural tendency of disintegration and reintegration, which can not be randomly controlled by human beings. Let alone an unpredicted consequence may be incurred if the government's unavoidably subjective even inappropriate action operates.Historically, among the native American tribes, in areas where many different languages existed, a unitive language was necessary, for facilitating trade and intertribal agreements.It was unavoidable that national assimilation arosed to meet the communication needs of both. Enforcement of government might have a negative effect on normal  intertribal communication if government take obliged action in such a case.

Competing with saving the lesser-known languages is many other social issues demanding prompt solutions. Since it is in vain to protect languages on the edge of extinction, solving practical problems is undoubtedly a wiser choice. Moreover improving living condition of people may after all be accepted as an indirect method to protect lesser-known languages.

In sum, it is true that the fewer speakers of a kind of language, the more lesserer-known languages will appear. Taking measures to prevent losing languages is definitely a necessary obligation the government should take. But ignoring the essential reasons lead to diminishing languages is harebrained for the present situation that begins with complicated origins. Furthermore, government should think over exhaustive consequences before making improper action.

论证部分
①定义lesser-known language

②因为人是语言的载体，所以人的减少会导致语言endangered

③因为语言是文化的一部分，政府有责任保护文化，当然应该包括与文化相关的lesser-known language

④但是，人的减少并不是语言endangered的唯一必然原因（二者非充分关系），其他原因，例如cultural assamilation也是原因之一，这是自然趋势和人类需要，政府不可避免地带有主观色彩的保护行为不但没有帮助，很有可能带来不好的结果。

⑤社会资源是有限的，比起保护正在消失的语言，政府应该更focus社会事务，更何况更多关心社会也是一种间接保护语言的方式。

plukaUID: 2721764

It is necessary to define lesser-known languages at first. As far as i concerned, a language which can be marker（marked) as "less-known" should have three characteristics at least.Firstly, a lesser-known language has owned (个人感觉用完成时态有些奇怪）a comparatively much smaller amount of currently living speakers.Secondly, it is lack of （lack可以做动词和名词，但没有形容词的意思）future potential speakers. Lastly, a lesser-known language is struggling for getting away from present endangered situation, while being without any protection.（without any protection这点可商榷，显然有些语言就算有protection也是濒危的，难道一旦protect了之后就立刻不濒危了？）


Admittedly（admittedly有让步意味，但上下文情境没有让本段有让步的理由啊）, by expanding the scope of language speakers and handing down a language from a generation to another,the substantial existence of people preserve（主语是exsistence吧？preserves） a language as a kind of recording media and communication tool. Naturally it means that the decrease of those,who are lively（活跃的？还是在世的，living？) speakers and potential speakers in the future, to a great extent, brings about more and more lesser-known languages.Such as Ainu in Hokkaido,Japan, may have tens of thousands of speakers but now be endangered because children are no longer learning them.The decline in the number of speakers largely causes the process of stretching the national language to the breaking point 

这段首句提出用增加使用人数和建立传承纽带能够救回濒危语言，第二句开始却提出人数减少、纽带破裂会让语言濒危。虽然两个好像是从正反两方面讲同一件事情，但在表述的重心上却有差异。看首句时，还以为接下来会讨论什么增加使用人数以挽救语言的方法，结果下面却开始谈语言濒危的原因了。首句" by expanding the scope of..."给我的暗示是“方法”，下文却没有跟着这个暗示走。

At the same time, any language represents a unique national culture by encoding and decoding cultural information. The government, under the obligation to protect the culture of its own country,surely should prevent lesser-known languages from losing as languages are intangible wealth of various cultures.Current situations are rich of such examples.Official attempts to revive endangered languages, such as the promotion of Irish in the Republic and Northern Ireland , Welsh in Wales, have met with mixed success.In China, a few professional groups of Manchu language ,established by government, try to revive the language of their ancestors using available dictionaries and textbooks, and even occasional visit to the areas where the related ancient language is still spoken natively.
主题句是为了保护文化应该保护语言。例子是各地保护语言的行动。然而只有主题句提到了文化，后面的例子却没能与文化联系起来。虽然大家都知道其中的关系，但还是要写得illustrative，加上一句他们保护语言也就保护了文化云云也好。


However, by the contrast, the speaker's assertion is on insufficient grounds, while tracing back to the original reasons result in lesser-known languages. cultural aggression and assimilation, for example,can also be a significant reason （to）endanger originally independent languages.Rather than regretting about the dying out languages, it is more comprehensible to regard the course as an irreversible and natural tendency of disintegration and reintegration, which can not be randomly controlled by human beings. Let alone an unpredicted consequence may be incurred (主句是绿色部分吧？前面的let alone是什么成分和意思呢）if the government's unavoidably subjective even inappropriate action operates.Historically, among the native American tribes, in areas where many different languages existed, a unitive language was necessary, for facilitating trade and intertribal agreements.It was unavoidable that national assimilation arosed to meet the communication needs of both. Enforcement of government might have a negative effect on normal  intertribal communication if government take obliged action in such a case.
本段内容是说语言濒危是文化入侵与融合的结果，政府贸然干预可能起到反效果。例子用了美洲土著部落，来说明语言统一的必要性，当然也可行，不过貌似不是最切题的，找一个现代一点跟濒危语言拉的上关系的可能会好些，比如爪哇国人为了做生意也必须说英语而不是爪哇语。另，国家的inappropriate action这个内容反复出现了几次，一个在举例前一个在举例后，而例子的篇幅又较短，于是让人感觉重复的语句和内容有些多。

Competing with saving（to save） the lesser-known languages is many other social issues demanding prompt solutions(单复数乱了）. (前后两句之间的关系？）Considering the limitation of social resources, it is beyond the government's capability to concentrate on lesser-known languages only. Moreover, solving practical problems is sometime do help to endangered languages protection in a second-hand（indirect/backhanded) way. For instance, improving current condition of people ,especially people in lesser-known languages speaking areas, or privileging autonomy to national minority, may after all be accepted as an indirect method to protect lesser-known languages.


大家写这题的提纲都有类似之处，就看侧重点和发挥，关键是要sustain一个清晰的脉络。而脉络要清晰，最基本的是全文暗含的逻辑发展进程，体现出来就是全文主旨句、各段主题句、总结、段落之间与句子之间的连接词等等。这篇文章比较大的问题就是各段的主题句与后面的发展部分没能对应起来，有些不着力。论述的侧重也可以再把握一下，比如最后讲资源有限的篇幅非常少——当然，原本也可以就这样作为一带而过的东西，但由于全文貌似没有一个总结性的结尾，把这一段内容放在结尾就好像它很重要似的。另外有些介词的用法，额，我不算专家，只是感觉有些别扭……

个人浅见，若有问题大家讨论。

qisaimanUID: 2703629

There is no denying that the vanishing lesser-known languages negatively result from the reduction  of population who speak .[add them] Simultaneously, it is reasonable that the government has the obligation to prevent the endangered languages from being extinction, in the light of culture protection. [in the light 应该放句首吧] However, in my perspective, a contrary view reveals the speaker's assertion above is ill-considered and logical-confused, while considering the genuine reasons leading to such a situation today, and unpredictable consequences government protection would bring about.
Admittedly, by expanding the scope of language speakers and handing down a language from a generation to another,[a 改为 one ]the substantial existence of people preserve a language as a kind of recording media. It also means that the decrease of population who speak different languages, to a great extent, brings about more and more lesser-known languages.
At the same time, the government, under the obligation to protect the culture of its own country, surely should prevent lesser-known languages from losing[lose 用被动] ,for languages are intangible wealth of various cultures.
However, by the contrast, the speaker's assertion is on insufficient grounds, while tracing back to the original reasons result in lesser-known languages. Public policy and cultural aggression, for example,can also be complicated reasons endanger originally independent languages.
Additionally, rather than regretting about the dying out languages, it is more comprehensible to regard the course as an irreversible tendency of "natural election", which can not be controlled by human beings. Even an unpredicted consequence may be incurred if the government's unavoidably subjective even inappropriate action operates.
Competing with[似乎应该是 compared with ] saving the lesser-known languages is many other social issues demanding prompt solutions. Since it is in vain to protect languages on the edge of extinction, solving practical problems is undoubtedly a wiser choice. Moreover improving living condition of people may after all be accepted as an indirect method to protect lesser-known languages.
In sum, it is true that the fewer speakers of a kind of language, the more lesserer-known languages will appear. Taking measures to prevent losing languages is definitely a necessary obligation the government should take. But ignoring the essential reasons lead to diminishing languages is harebrained for the present situation that begins with complicated origins. Furthermore, government should think over exhaustive consequences before making improper action.

[总体感觉作者的观点不够鲜明，（当然我也有这个问题），语言消失的原因和政府保护的后果都没有展开论证。]

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

哇~大家好热心~感动中~~~o(>_<)o ~~泪奔~
我也“找茬”去~！