issue 103 【红尘笑看沧桑】互改小组第三次作业 by woshisuper

woshisuperUID: 2737087

ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."


What is the value of studying history? Understanding the essential purpose of this question can help us find the answer to whether the study of history is valuable only in the scope of its relevance to our daily lives. Actually I disagree with what the speaker asserts and I will give three reasons to support my point insofar as the value of studying history.

What will be brought to us by the study of history?

To begin with, it is the original essence of human beings and the society which the history can tell us. Studying the primitives’ custom or a nameless people’s life style seems far away from our daily lives, but these pieces of research information offer clues of the difference and the sameness among different societies. There should be reasons to explain the essence like why Eastern Asians like Japanese and Chinese care more about the domestic relationship while Western people stress more on the individual independence.

Then history studying helps us understand how the society evolved. We know the fact that there is a strict hierachical system in India and that the inequality between men and women exists in China to some extent, to answer what contribute to these actualities we should make a scrutiny into the ancient history of India and China which are also foreign to our daily lives.

Finally, we can harvest a lot from the mistakes of the past and the success of the past. How Napoleon conquered the Europe and how Napoleon failed in Waterloo can still give us experience and lessons in the business war though we are in the peacetime and the conditions at that time were different from ones in our daily lives. By consulting these pieces of valuable information we can anticipate the future rationally.

To sum up, I disagree with the speaker’s claim because he misunderstands the logic relationship between the value of history studying and our daily life. There are a lot of aspects in the study of history are not relevant to our daily lives, but the achievements are still valuable. What we really need to do is promoting our world’s development not only in our daily lives but also other facets of our society.

woshisuperUID: 2737087

这是我写的比较纠结的一篇 超时了~~~并且还是朦胧着题目~~~改作业的童鞋 要狠狠地批啊

woshisuperUID: 2737087

由于有论文 此次argument就以分析和提纲为主了
argument 211
中文推理：目的：更好完成W大学的教学目标   推出 手段：采纳P技术学院的就业机会课程，积极鼓励所有W学生参加该课程
原因：P技术学院成功的论据：1.在过去两年里 75%的一年级学生参加该课程
                                      2.参加课程的成绩比不参加高很多
                                      3.90%学生毕业后一个月内得到就业机会
                                      4.多数以前学生报告了职业的成功
提纲如下：首先点明 目的和手段逻辑关联的错误性： W大学的教学目标是什么？作为一所大学W的教学目标可以是培养研究型科研人才而技术学院更倾向于培养职业型人才，两所高校的性质不同怎么能拿来作为参考呢？
接着 退一步讲（even if） 就算W大学可能也是以培养职业型人才为主和P技术学院的教学目标相似，那么两所高校学生的素质和背景不一样，没有调查怎么能轻易地肯定W学生也会像P学生一样benefit from the course呢
再退一步讲（ even if）就算两所大学学生背景和素质差不多，那么也不能肯定P的成功是因为JOB-OP课程啊。
原因（1）一年级学生可能是因为该课程在P知名度高才选的，并不一定是因为J课程的好而选的，也许他们根本就不了解J课程是干什么的呢
      （2）成绩高可能是因为参加该课程的同学学习时间少了，于是他们就更努力刻苦，这样也是因为学生本身的努力而不是直接从课程获益啊
      （3）90%学生毕业一月内得到就业机会也许是因为专业对口的原因，也许没参加该课程的同学也有90%甚至更高的人数一个月内找到工作呢
      （4）多数以前没参加的学生也许也报告了职业的成功，没有证据来证明参加的就比不参加的成功人数多
综上 ：不同意

立刻马上UID: 2737860

ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."


What is the value of studying history? Understanding the essential purpose of this question can help us find the answer to whether the study of history is valuable only in the scope of its relevance to our daily lives. （这句话不如直接就改成someone thinks that the study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily live）Actually I disagree with what the speaker asserts and I will give three reasons to support my point insofar as the value of studying history.

What will be brought to us by the study of history? (这句话紧接在I will give three reason之后，有点突兀，因为对于上面一句话的期待就是你会直接blabla给出3个答案，突然一问，气势上不顺，而且独立成段也不好，可以删了)
To begin with, it is the original essence of human beings and the society which the history can tell us. Studying the primitives’ custom or a nameless people’s life style seems far away from our daily lives, but these pieces of research information offer clues of the difference and the sameness among different societies. There should be reasons to explain the essence(改成question，essence已经用过) like why Eastern Asians like Japanese and Chinese（like Japanese and Chinese删了,一句话里2个like要避免） care more about the domestic relationship while Western people stress more on the individual independence. （历史告诉了我们人类的本质）

Then history studying helps us understand how the society evolved. We know the fact that there is a strict hierachical system in India and that the inequality between men and women exists in China to some extent, to answer what contribute to these actualities we should make a scrutiny into the ancient history of India and China which are also foreign to our daily lives.（历史告诉了我们社会是怎么进化的，论点提出来了（但没有去突出知道这些历史的价值，比如可以避免战争啊、可以更好发展啊），论证不够充分,有点单薄）
Finally, we can harvest a lot from the mistakes of the past and the success of the past. How Napoleon conquered the Europe and how Napoleon failed in Waterloo can still give us experience and lessons in the business war though we are in the peacetime and the conditions at that time were different from ones in our daily lives. By consulting these pieces of valuable information we can anticipate the future rationally.
（我们从历史中学到了成功的经验和失败的教训）
（三个理由越来越从抽象到具体了，到后来反而觉得越来越和日常生活贴近，这样的论证没有力，还不如先退步肯定它和日常生活的关系，再着重写研究历史其他的价值）
To sum up, I disagree with the speaker’s claim because he misunderstands the logic relationship between the value of history studying and our daily life. There are（there are 应该去掉） a lot of aspects in the study of history are not relevant to our daily lives, but the achievements are still valuable. What we really need to do is promoting our world’s development not only in our daily lives but also other facets of our society.（最后一句话对整个论证并没有起到作用，可删）

文章从思想性上讲，破题思路类似北美范文，但是论证不足；
从结构上讲，总分总思路比较清晰；
从语言上讲，有一些小错误，没有特别有亮点的句子（这个大家都一样，一起提高！）