独立写作求拍

shiwei83UID: 2680950

Students have more been influenced from teachers than friends

Some may believe students have more been influenced from teachers than friends. But some may drew an opposite conclusion. In my opinion, teachers have more influence on students than the friends of the students do.

First, being adults, teachers have more experience than children have. When students face challenge, following advices from their teachers maybe the best way they can choose. For example, when I was in high school, my teacher was a man who with abundant life and teaching experience, I always asking for his help, and he help me with enthusiasm every time. Hardly could I solve the problems without his help.

Second, Teachers will directly affect the physical and mental growth of students. Teachers are the
most direct and authoritative example of students, they get along with students six hours per day, or even longer. Students spend time with their friends only in a short time, maybe just after school. The "effective contact" between teachers and students is far more than parents do, which make it easier to teacher to exert influence on students

Finally, the teacher’s personality may also have a profound impact on students. Teachers have great influence on student in shaping their own personality. Students can directly or indirectly learning attitudes and responsibilities or their personal values, human values, scientific values of awareness, professionalism, competitive spirit and interpersonal skills, ability of anti-frustration and so on from their teachers.

On the whole, taking into account all the factors mentioned above ,  I will lay the stress that  students have more been influenced from teachers than friends.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

楼主你字体很小咧。。可不可以要求以后字号放大一点点啊。。XD

Some may believe students have more been influenced more from teachers than friends (If you think the question reads awkward, don't just blindly copy it. It can be wrong...). But some may draw an opposite conclusion. In my opinion, teachers have more influence on students than the friends of the students do.

First, being adults, teachers have more experience than children have (Is there a law saying students must be 'children'? You sure have heard about 老年大学?). When students face challenges, following advices from their teachers may be the best way they can choose. For example, when I was in high school, my teacher was a man who with abundant life and teaching experience. I was always asking for his help, and he helped me with enthusiasm every time. Hardly could I solve the problems without his help.(Okay. I understand that you're trying to use examples, but remember to use SPECIFIC examples. Repeating your topic sentence with 'my teacher' instead of 'teachers' is not a specific example. What does it mean to be specific? It means as simple as citing exactly what he helped you with. Even a simple 'he often helped me with solving MATHEMATICS problems, which I had great difficulties with' would be more specific than 'I solve problems'. I understand that a lot of people think that examples are specific if you mention names and places, but no. You need to QUALIFY and QUANTIFY your examples and make real sense out of them. You need to answer the 5W1H.)(Plus, you still didn't answer the question about whether teachers' influence is MORE than friends'.)

Second, Teachers will directly affect the physical and mental growth of students. Teachers are the most direct and authoritative examples of for students, they get along with students six hours per day, or even longer. (You have a lot of run-on sentences. Run-ons are sentences that are put together in one big sentence without proper conjunction. Remember that in English, sentences don't just go on and on, that conjunctions are vital, and that not using conjunctions is a grammar mistake.) Students spend only a short time with their friends only in a short time, maybe just after school. The "effective contact" between teachers and students is far more than parents? (I thought we were talking about 'friends'.) do, which make it easier to for teachers to exert influence on students.(Keep in mind that you're talking to a US audience. In the United States, school hours are very short, and students spend a lot of time with their classmates rather than with teachers. So your point about 'students spend time with friends only after school' may not be very valid.)

Finally, the teacher’s personality may also have a profound impact on students. Teachers have great influence on students in shaping their own personalities. Students can directly or indirectly learning about attitudes (towards what?) and responsibilities or their personal values, human values?, scientific values? of awareness, professionalism, competitive spirit and interpersonal skills, ability of anti-frustration? and so on from their teachers. (Hmm. Nothing a friend cannot do, yes? A good friend can definitely be responsible, professional, competitive, socially capable, resilient..and I don't see why teachers are the ONLY or LARGER source of influence here.)

On the whole, taking into account all the factors mentioned above, I will lay the stress that students have more been influenced more from teachers than friends.

总结：

语法 - 没有使用连词的跑句现象比较严重。介词的搭配请注意。

词汇 - 有一些不地道的词组，请避免使用自己不确定如何使用的词汇。

逻辑 - 你有很好的论点，但你无法做出有力、完整的论证。你需要做的是在每一段都把论证和论点联系起来。每一段里要先有论点，再举例子，最后要回答这个问题：HOW does this example relate to my point? 这个例子怎样说明了我的论点？不然，你的论证就会成为开放式论证，也就是只有论述，没有结论。