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小彭要加油UID: 2744567

Q:Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances, others believe that success results from careful planning. in your opinion, what does success come from?use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

when it refers to where does success come from, people`s opinions are divergent. Some may support that taking risks or chances is more likely to succeed, others ,however, believe that only by careful planning could they get a big hit. As far as i am concerned, the chances do overweigh plans on our path towards success.

Then main reason accounting for my proposition may be that along with the rapid development of modern society, current changes faster than anytime in the past. There is an old saying that opportunity knocks but once, which means that if you do not seize that chance, there will never be a second chance for you to pull this off. What`s more, since things always change in the way you do not expect, it may be a time-consuming work to rearrange your plan, which has been carefully thought out before.For example, i was once well prepared to compete in an debating, however, the rules changed thoroughly, so i had no choice but to throw away my speeching draft, which almost drived me crazy.

An equally essential factor supporing my view is that taking risk is always based on well preparation. There is no denying that only those people who has already well-prepared for the chance can actually grasp it. Let`s take yaoming, who is acknowledged ad one of the best NBA basketbal players as an example.He never failed to practice basketball almost everyday to raise his basketball skills when he was in China, waiting for a chance to stand in the ground of NBA. When the opportunity knocked, he was so excellent that there is no reason he can not realize his dream. So, it is imperative to make yourself better and better because a chance will test whether you have worked hard enough.

However, we have to concede that despite the importance about taking chances, overextended depending on opportunities is indeed counterproductive. For the individuals, it will mislead them to be very careless and do things without any plans,making it easier to get things messed up. For the society as a whole, it may promote a negative tendency towards utlitarian,which will threat to creat disorder.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that taking chances is so crutial for individuals to succeed that we cant afford to be blind of it. As long as you are well prepared to take chances, you are more likely to hit it big in the modern society where current change so fast.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

When it refers comes to where does success comes from, people`s opinions are divergent. Some may support that taking risks or chances is more likely to succeed ('Taking risks or chances' in itself does not 'succeed'. People 'succeed' BY 'taking risks or chances'.), others ,however, believe that only by careful planning could they could get a big hit. As far as i am concerned, the chances do overweigh plans on our path towards success. (The question is very specific. It is 'What does success come from?' - a weirdly phrased question, btw -  it is not 'Which one is more important for success?'. Of course, we all know that the question wants you to discuss chances vs. plans, but you should phrase your topic sentence to suit the way this question is asked, not to twist the question.)

Then main reason accounting for my proposition may? (You're saying even your 'main reason' is not a 100% sure reason?) be that along with the rapid development of modern society, current? (I'm totally confused by what you're trying to express with this word. Are you trying to say 'things now change faster than anytime in the past'?) changes faster than anytime in the past. There is an old saying that opportunity knocks but once, which means that if you do not seize that chance, there will never be a second chance for you to pull this (What?) off. What`s more, since things always change in the ways you do not expect, it may be a time-consuming work to rearrange your plan, which has been carefully thought out before.For example, i was once well prepared to compete in an debate, however, the rules changed thoroughly, (If you're talking about rules of a debate as in 辩论赛, as in the kind we see in China, those rules hardly change. Only the debate topic changes frequently and most unexpectedly.) so i had no choice but to throw away my speeching draft (If you have a 'draft speech', it's a speech. And if you're participating in a debate, a speech is not really what you'll prepare.) , which almost droved me crazy. (So, what's your point? You should never prepare a speech for a debate? If you're trying to prove that planning is not good for success because things always change using this example to demonstrate 'things always change', then are you implying that if you go into a debate without preparations at all, you'll have higher chances of winning? Think about your logic - isn't it absurd when you really start to think what's the meaning behind what you've written?)

(The problem here is you never relate your example to your discussion topic. You need to demonstrate HOW your example explains your topic. Without that in mind, your example will almost certainly go sideways, only proving one part of your intended topic, while serving no purpose to prove the whole idea. This is what I call 'drifting', where your thoughts go from one keyword from another, and eventually you end up somewhere pretty far away from the original question. You need to stay close to the beacon - your question and your own opinion statement.)

An equally essential factor supporing my view is that taking risk is always based on well good preparation. (I think you mean 'success from taking risks is actually based on good preparation'. If you say 'taking risk is always based on preparation', that would hardly look right.) There is no denying that only those people who have already been well-prepared for the chance can actually grasp it. Let`s take Yao Ming, who is acknowledged as one of the best NBA basketbal players as an example.He never failed to practice basketball almost everyday to raise improve his basketball skills when he was in China, waiting for a chance to stand in the ground of NBA. When the opportunity knocked, he was so excellent that there is no reason he cannot realize his dream. So, it is imperative to make yourself better and better because a chance will test whether you have worked hard enough. (The question is asking about chances vs. careful planning. It's not about preparation or even good preparation. Did Yao PLAN to practise because he knows he would go to NBA? Or did he just practise because he wants to stay as a good basketball player? Your example about how preparation is essential for success in times of opportunities is good, but preparation has no correlation with planning.)

However, we have to concede that despite the importance about taking chances, overextended dependence on opportunities is indeed counterproductive. For the individuals, it will mislead them to be very careless and do things without any plans,making it easier to get things messed up. For the society as a whole, it may promote a negative tendency towards utlitarian,which will threat to creat disorder.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that taking chances is so crucial for individuals to succeed that we cant afford to be blind of it. As long as you are well prepared to take chances, you are more likely to hit it big in the modern society where current change (Again, this mysterious phrase that I fail to guess..) so fast.

总结：

语法词汇方面问题不大，句子很流畅，但是有时分句的语法不对，需要注意一下。主要的问题是逻辑上的。。注意审题，注意随时扣题，否则就很容易发生像第二段那种写着写着就跑题，或者第三段那种讲的根本不是题目问的状况。。另外你用了一些口语化的短语如hit it big, pull it off，请注意这种因为是口语所以非常依赖语境，用在写作上的时候要注意一下指代，不要出现指代不清的状况。