独立作文 求改

tbs2010UID: 2752381

Do you agree or disagree, a smart friend is more important than a humorous friend?
  
When it comes to the question that which is more important to us, a humorous friend or a intelligent friend? Some people may support that a humorous friend is more important. Others, however, would argue that an intelligent friend is more important. As far as I am concerned, I advocate the former one, and my arguments are listed as follows.

To begin with, humorous people can make our life become more interesting and fantastic. Only those people who are humorous can bring happiness to us and make us feel better when we are upset or distressed. Take my friend as an example. One of my friends Lily is remarkably humorous. Wherever she is, there are full of laugh and funny because of her humorous words and ridiculous behavior. All of us love her since that whenever we are in trouble or bothered by some awful thing, she will come up and help us preclude from involving in sad emotion by telling jokes or interesting stories until we turn to be rapture or feel ease. Our lives have more sunshine owning to that we have a humorous friend.

Furthermore, if a person is humorous, he or she will have an optimistic perspective towards the
world, which means he or she will perceive every thing from an active angle. It is true that if we have a passive way to look at things which happened in our daily life being not smooth as we expected, we would obtain more encourage to face the problem we came up with. According to a resent survey, among those people who are spending a wonderful and colorful life, there are 73 percent of them own the sense of humor. Why does this happen? The more humorous they are, the more active they will be when they are in trouble or come up with some sorrow occurrence. Therefore, they produce much more energy to overcome the difficulties. Definitely, it will lead them to a brighter life. As we can see, humorous is significant in our life especially when we are in trouble.

Admittedly, smart friends also play an important role in our daily life, for instance, they can think of good ideas for us or give us wisdom suggestions. However, humorous people pose more critical role than that of smart friends. Humorous friends can make our life full of happiness and of course happiness is the most essential thing to us, and they can influence us to have a positive view towards the world.

To sum up, from what I have discussed above, we can safety to draw the conclusion that humorous friends are more important in our life than smart friends due to their admirable characteristic. It is certain that they can bring happiness to us and make our life more interesting and fascinating.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

When it comes to the question that which is more important to us, a humorous friend or a intelligent friend? (This is a fragment. Please be careful when you fill in templates - templates don't guarantee correct grammar.) Some people may support that a humorous friend is more important. Others, however, would argue that an intelligent friend is more important. As far as I am concerned, I advocate the former one, and my arguments are listed as follows.

To begin with, humorous people can make our life become more interesting and fantastic. Only those people who are humorous can bring happiness to us and make us feel better when we are upset or distressed. Take my friend as an example. One of my friends Lily is remarkably humorous. Wherever she is, there are full of laugh and funny? (First, this is not a well-formed clause. Second, 'full of' should be trailed by nouns like 'laughter'.) because of her humorous words and ridiculous (This means 'laughable because it's not reasonable'. I guess it's not really a word that describes 'humorous' people. Making people laugh is not the same as being 'laughable'.) behavior. All of us love her since that whenever we are in trouble or bothered by some awful things, she will come up and help us preclude? from involving in sad emotion by telling jokes or interesting stories until we turn to be rapture? or feel ease (Wow. So you think to be able to laugh at a trouble is more important than to be able to solve the trouble through the help of an intelligent friend.). Our lives have more sunshine owning to that we have a our humorous friend. (Again, you're not clear about what exactly the question you're expected to answer is: which type of friend is MORE IMPORTANT? You argue that your humorous friend helps you to feel better in times of trouble, but as I said, won't an intelligent friend who can actually help you out of the trouble more useful in this? WHY would you consider your humorous friend MORE IMPORTANT if the two types of friends can and may well be at least equally useful? It's not enough to just describe what your friend does. The conclusion is about his/her importance, not his/her deeds.)

Furthermore, if a person is humorous, he or she will have an optimistic perspective towards the world, which means he or she will perceive every thing from an active angle. It is true that if we have a passive? way to look at things which happened in our daily life being not smooth as we expected, we would obtain more encourage? (Reads like the opposite of what you said in the very first sentence of this paragraph.) to face the problem we came up with (The problem YOU came up with? =.=). According to a resent survey, among those people who are spending a wonderful and colorful life, there are 73 percent of them own the sense of humor.(Well, this is one of the more interesting fake surveys in the essays I've seen..How do you know people 'own the sense of humor'? By asking them whether they think they do? Surveys don't usually deal with such vague questions.) Why does this happen? The more humorous they are, the more active they will be when they are in trouble or come up with some sorrow occurrence?. Therefore, they produce much more energy to overcome the difficulties. Definitely, it will lead them to a brighter life. As we can see, being humorous is significant in our life especially when we are in trouble. (First, this point sounds too similar to your first point. Second, we are talking about FRIENDS, NOT PEOPLE in general. Interestingly, you indeed focused on the keyword 'important' here, but you ignored 'friend' instead. Essays can't deal with keywords one at a time like this. You need to consider all these keywords together - 'important friend' - as a whole.)

Admittedly, smart friends also play an important role in our daily life, For instance, they can think of good ideas for us or give us wise suggestions. However, humorous people pose more critical roles than that of smart friends. Humorous friends can make our life full of happiness and of course happiness is the most essential thing to us, and they can influence us to have a positive view towards the world. (It'd be better if you spread the content of this paragraph across your main argument paragraphs, because the question is a comparative one - which one is MORE IMPORTANT - and you need to constantly address the comparison throughout the essay.)

To sum up, from what I have discussed above, we can safety to draw the conclusion that humorous friends are more important in our life than smart friends due to their admirable characteristics. It is certain that they can bring happiness to us and make our life more interesting and fascinating.

总结：

语法 - 你的复句句法很弱，建议你尽量不要逼自己写长句子，如果要用，请先认真地练好复句句法，至少不要在填模板开头的时候就填出错误的句子。。

词汇 - 难度比较高的词汇不会用还是不要用了，基本上你对那些词的词性和语气都没有了解是很难用对的。。

逻辑 - 题目是同意/不同意+比较，所以你一要明确同意还是不同意，二要抓住比较来展开。展开的时候要从题目的整体来考虑，你现在的写法是第一个观点着重'humorous friend'，第二个观点着重'(humor is) important'，但是除了反面论点段，你其实没有任何一个观点能够整体地说明'humorous friend is MORE important THAN intelligent friend'，也就是你的两个正面论证其实都不如那一个反面论证扣题，用你写反面论证的同样写法来写正面论证就好了。