eddie的独立作文 1.26

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

1.26 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People spend more time on personal enjoyment rather than what they should do.

As asserted in the topic, people are more willing to spend time for personal interest than things they should take up. For my part, I could not lend my support to this assertion. In my opinion, this issue goes too extremely to illustrate the problem.

Firstly, there is no denying that everybody wants to pursue their personal enjoyment. As we live in a peaceful era, we are no longer engaged in the war affairs and do not need to worry about our life, thus we can pay more attention to enjoy our lives and do whatever as we want (for sure do not break the law). When we feel bored, we can call friends out for a party; when we need sports, we can play basketball; when we want a dance, we can go to the rock bar as well as for a cup of drink, etc. Therefore spending time on personal enjoyment is quite normal psychological and physical requirement.

Except personal enjoyment, people also shoulder obligations. As one part of the society, everyone has their own unique roles. In order to guarantee the well operation of this huge "machine", we are all ought to do whatever we should do. Just like soldiers have to protect their countries and teachers have to devote their whole life to the educational enterprise, responsibility is the unavoidable thing for social individuals.

However personal entertainment and things people should do are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Oppositely they can be perfectly combined sometimes. For example, Einstein spent his whole life to the scientific research, which was also his own personal enjoyment; the greatest basketball player Michael Jordan chose his early personal interest basketball as his career to promulgate the attractiveness of basketball and bring people the true spirit of sports; Michael Jackson, the greatest pop star in the history, who was crazy for singing and dance in his childhood, chose stage as the life-long place where he spread pop culture to all over the world.

In sum, as mentioned above, spending time on personal enjoyment does not necessarily mean people not doing what they should do. What's more, when people perfectly combine their personal interest with their responsibility, they spend the same time on the personal enjoyment as what they should do.

shirley072UID: 2712200

As asserted in the topic, people are more willing to spend time for personal interest than things they should take up. For my part, I could not lend my support to this assertion. In my opinion, this issue goes too extremely to illustrate the problem (我觉得不能这么说，题目只有一个argument一句话，没有给任何理由，所以this issue和the problem各指代什么呢？).

Firstly, there is no denying that everybody wants to pursue their personal enjoyment. As we live in a peaceful era, we are no longer engaged in the war affairs and do not need to worry about our life, thus we can pay more attention to enjoy our lives and do whatever as we want (for sure do not break the law). When we feel bored, we can call friends out for a party; when we need sports, we can play basketball; when we want a dance, we can go to the rock bar as well as for a cup of drink, etc. Therefore spending time on personal enjoyment is quite normal psychological and physical requirement.

Except personal enjoyment, people also shoulder obligations. As one part of the society, everyone has their own unique roles (单复不一致). In order to guarantee the well operation of this huge "machine", we are all ought to do whatever we should do. Just like soldiers have to protect their countries and teachers have to devote their whole life to the educational enterprise, responsibility is the unavoidable thing for social individuals.

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However personal entertainment and things people should do are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Oppositely they can be perfectly combined sometimes (Sometimes they can be perfectly combined). For example, Einstein spent his whole life to the scientific research, which was also his own personal enjoyment; the greatest basketball player Michael Jordan chose his early personal interest basketball as his career to promulgate the attractiveness of basketball and bring people the true spirit of sports; Michael Jackson, the greatest pop star in the history, who was crazy for singing and dance in his childhood, chose stage as the life-long place where he spread pop culture to all over the world.

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In sum, as mentioned above, spending time on personal enjoyment does not necessarily mean people not doing what they should do. What's more, when people perfectly combine their personal interest with their responsibility, they spend the same time on the personal enjoyment as what they should do.

句子还是同样精彩
但是我觉得楼主在结构上还要再组织一下
比如说第二，三段，我觉得楼主只是把enjoyment的事和必须做的事解释了一遍，并没有说两者之间的关系。题目问的花在哪个上面的时间多，楼主并没有正面回应，既然楼主一来就说不支持题目的观点，那么重点的笔墨就应该花在写必须做的事情花的时间多或者娱乐的时间少
其实我觉得第二个观点挺新颖的，花的时间是一样的呵呵，但是呢我还是觉得少了一点，比如我就会奇怪为什么Einstein的研究是他必须要做的事情呢？
最后，我也觉得这个题目让人非常抓狂。。。我也写得很崩溃。。。。。

tomatooUID: 2754865

As asserted in the topic, people are more willing to spend time for personal interest than things they should take up（改写了，真好）. For my part, I could not lend my support to this assertion. In my opinion, this issue goes too extremely to illustrate the problem.7 M7 |- l/ U# @3 C6 [5 ?0 k
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Firstly, there is no denying that everybody wants to pursue their personal enjoyment. As we live in a peaceful era, we are no longer engaged in the war affairs and do not need to worry about our life, thus we can pay more attention to enjoy our lives and do whatever as we want (for sure do not break the law). When we feel bored, we can call friends out for a party; when we need sports, we can play basketball; when we want a dance, we can go to the rock bar as well as for a cup of drink, etc（排比好）. Therefore spending time on personal enjoyment is quite normal psychological and physical requirement.
Except personal enjoyment, people also shoulder obligations. As one part of the society, everyone has their own unique roles. In order to guarantee the well operation of this huge "machine", we are（are不要，ought是动词） all ought to do whatever we should do. Just like soldiers have to protect their countries and teachers have to devote their whole life to the educational enterprise, responsibility is the unavoidable thing for social individuals., ?2 w1 c6 _! J' Q8 }' r
However personal entertainment and things people should do are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Oppositely they can be perfectly combined sometimes. For example, Einstein spent his whole life to the scientific research, which was also his own personal enjoyment; the greatest basketball player Michael Jordan chose his early personal interest basketball as his career to promulgate the attractiveness of basketball and bring people the true spirit of sports; Michael Jackson, the greatest pop star in the history, who was crazy for singing and dance in his childhood, chose stage as the life-long place where he spread pop culture to all over the world. * G$ r& ?4 J' c) Y0 Q7 l& ^, f/ p( c
In sum, as mentioned above, spending time on personal enjoyment does not necessarily mean people （are句子没谓语）not doing what they should do. What's more, when people perfectly combine their personal interest with their responsibility, they spend the same time on the personal enjoyment as what they should do.（这句好像有点不对，好好结合就等于用一样的时间吗？）

遣词造句真好！
结构很好，论点论证都很好！
向你学习！
但是三个点都是排比举例论证，可以变换一下方式。可以让论证多样化一点。