2.5 作文

mangohahaUID: 2758178

2.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

In the highly competitive society, the qualities a students have to keep should be not only knowledge about their major, but also a good relationship one student with others. In this condition, if we have to compare the two factors, in my opinion, the latter is muh more important than the former.

Admittedly, there is no denying that a solid basis of knowledge involving student’s major is an essential factor, specially for the student’s career success. However, this quality would fade when compared with a good relationship among students. Just like the Aristotle’s saying that the nature of education would not be inserting information into a man. This is to say, the purpose of education would be not only exercising students’ brains, but also cultivating their ability to prepare for the competitive society. Generally, School have the responsibility of teaching student how to live together with others.

Secondly, as one of vitual responsibilities of school, the factor of good relationship with others is also necessary for companies. As we all know, the quality of good relationship is the basis of teamwork which is the source of effective group. Commone experiece informs us that in the good relationship with partners would directly or indirectly influence on people’s career and even future. Numerous famous companies, such as IBM, Microsoft and so forth, regard good relationship as one of essential factor to a good worker. In short, since companies emphsize the quality so much that modern students and schools should pay a great deal of attentions on it rather than only the majors.

Lastly, good relationship, in some degree, determines the denisty of a people. Common sense informs us that good relationship means a people would have a large amount of friends who can help share your achievement and pressure. Just like one of my good friends, Toney, he lost his job because of the financial crisis, as a result, he find a better job under the help of his friends. Since he always help others and has built a good relationship with others, his friends would like to stand by him. In general, it is a good relationship, not a solid knowledge, that helps us face with suffering in life.

Ultimately, I agree with insofar as that on one can deny that solid knowledge is important quality for students and school. Nevertheless, a good relationship would be of benefit to student obtain the final achievement and never give a way to any frustrations.

SinceraUID: 2681440

lz！2月5号是哪里的？这是考试题？

mangohahaUID: 2758178

2# Sincera
额。。。让我很难回答，参加一个作文批改。。。这个是自己写的
哎。。。让您见笑了。。。

captainlchUID: 2591903

你好，我是跟你一个组的captainlch,这是我的修改意见，请appreciate
In the highly competitive society, the qualities a students have to keep should be not only knowledge about（in） their major, but also a good relationship one student(删) with others. In this condition(at this moment), if we have to compare the two factors(matter, in my opinion, the latter is much more important than the former. 6 X) t+ Z5 R3 q. d5 @& g/ o/ ~
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Admittedly, there is no denying that a solid basis of knowledge involving(within,in) student’s major is an essential factor, specially for the student’s career success. However, this quality would fade(建议改成the importance of this quality may be relatively less ) when compared with a good relationship among other students. Just like the Aristotle’s saying that the nature of education would not be inserting information into a man. This is to say, the purpose of education would  not only be exercising students’ brains, but also cultivating their ability to prepare for the competitive society. Generally speaking, Schools have the responsibility of teaching student how to live together with others.（本段貌似有些空洞，缺少例证和细节） * Q: @' [1 `- `, A7 I$ \
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Secondly,  as one of virtual responsibilities of school, the factor of good relationship with others is also necessary for companies. As we all know, the quality of good relationship is the basis of teamwork which is the source of effective group(where efficiency of group arise). Common experience informs us that in the good relationship with partners would influence directly or indirectly(最好放在动词后面) on people’s career and even in the future. Numerous famous companies, such as IBM, Microsoft and so forth, regard good relationship among workers as one of essential factor to evaluate/judge good worker. In short, since companies emphasize the quality so much , modern students and schools should pay a great deal of attentions on it rather than only the majors.

Lastly, good relationship, to some degree, determines the destiny of a people. Common sense informs us that good relationship means a people would have a large amount of（lots of friends）,friends who can help share your achievement and pressure. (成就是无法share的，能share的是成就带来的pleasure, satisfaction, good feeling, experience)Just like one of my good friends, Toney, he lost his job because of the financial crisis, as a result, he find a better job under the help (with the help)of his friends.（with the help from, 或者with his friends’ help貌似更好） Since he always help others and has built a good relationship with others, his friends would like to stand by him. In general, it is a good relationship, not a solid knowledge, that helps us face with suffering in life. Destiny.

Ultimately, I agree with insofar as that on one can deny that solid knowledge is important quality for students and school.（insofar as表一种因果关系，similar to the phrases like in respect of, considering the fact, in the light of…,in addition, the meaning of the last sentence raise paradox, ambivalence, hardly can I explain away） Nevertheless, a good relationship would be of great benefit for students to obtain the final achievement and never give a way to any frustrations. 本段的转折关系貌似不成立
红色代表修改和错误，蓝色代表最好删除，绿色代表最好添加，慢工出细活，希望楼主在遣词造句，上多下点功夫，在不跑题的前提下多给一些例证。

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

2.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?% k8 ^# q/ U! l: \- L- z" h* }
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In the highly competitive society, the qualities a students have to keep should be not only knowledge about their major, but also a good relationship one student with others. In this condition, if we have to compare the two factors, in my opinion, the latter is muh more important than the former.

Admittedly, there is no denying that a solid basis of knowledge involving student’s major is an essential factor, specially for the student’s career success. However, this quality would fade when compared with a good relationship among students. Just like the Aristotle’s saying that the nature of education would not be inserting information into a man. This is to say, the purpose of education would be not only exercising students’ brains, but also cultivating their ability to prepare for the competitive society. Generally, School have the responsibility of teaching student how to live together with others.（貌似接下来的陈述跟这段主旨不是很符合啊，接下来应该陈述维持关系的优点）

Secondly, as one of vitual responsibilities of school, the factor of good relationship with others is also necessary for companies. As we all know, the quality of good relationship is the basis of teamwork which is the source of effective group. Commone experiece informs us that in the good relationship with partners would directly or indirectly influence on people’s career and even future (Yes,but how?). Numerous famous companies, such as IBM, Microsoft and so forth, regard good relationship as one of essential factor to a good worker. In short, since companies emphsize the quality so much that modern students and schools should pay a great deal of attentions on it rather than only the majors.

Lastly, good relationship, in some degree, determines the denisty of a people. Common sense informs us that good relationship means a people would have a large amount of friends who can help share your achievement and pressure. Just like one of my good friends, Toney, he lost his job because of the financial crisis, as a result, he find a better job under the help of his friends. Since he always help others and has built a good relationship with others, his friends would like to stand by him. In general, it is a good relationship, not a solid knowledge, that helps us face with suffering in life.

Ultimately, I agree with insofar as that on one can deny that solid knowledge is important quality for students and school. Nevertheless, a good relationship would be of benefit to student obtain the final achievement and never give a way to any frustrations.

LZ是个很细心地人，通篇文章没有语法错误。但是感觉陈述稍微有一些“紧”，即展开得不够，貌似句子好像都在挤，另外第二段貌似陈述得有些脱节，第三第四段观点分开得很好！陈述逻辑继续努力！加油！