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[活动] 2。6 大作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-6 15:42:45 |显示全部楼层

2.6 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.



Concerning the fact that the adverse impact of political or social view shown by teacher in class overwhelms the positive effect, I agree with the statement that teachers had better not show their subjective view on politics or social problems in their lectures.


To begin with, it's indisputable that a child's perspective of value could not be formed till he grows up. So, it is not suitable for a teacher to show his own political or social view in class, which would easily have a substantial influence on his students. For example, in order to warn his students being deceived, my teacher usually conveyed an opinion that our society was fulfill with sorts of deceit persons. However, one of my classmates misunderstood his opinion and believed that most people were cheats. Meanwhile when I shown my concern for him when he in dilemma, he was suspicious that whether I had a special purpose. In my perspective, a majority of my friends are kindly and ready to show their helps without rewarding when I in need. So, I think a teacher should not show such opinion in class, but leave his students find the truth by themselves.


Furthermore, it is undoubted that if the view show by a teacher is aggressive and subjective, it would have a negative impact on student. From a recent survey by socialists, more and more juvenile criminals were led by a wrong political view conveyed by teachers. For example, last year, a small group of French insulted our Olympic activity in Paris before Olympic Games, one of my teacher acclaimed that we should boycott the products imported from French. Some of my classmates were inflamed by his subjective political view and rush to Carrierfor, a famous supermarket run by French company. In Carrierfor, they destroyed the products shelves and finally were caught by police. So, from this case, the subjective political view of a teacher may have a detrimental influence on his students’ behaviors.


Although there may be some cases that the teacher's points of view would have a positive effect on an individual, it does not mean that we should encourage teacher show their view on politics or social problems. Because a child is too young to discern that whether the view is correct, especially controversial issues.


Judging from what I mentioned above, if a teacher shows their political or social view incorrect, he would have an unimaginable impact on his student. Therefore, I agree that teacher should keep neutral on political or social view in class and leave his students to have a deep reflection by themselves.

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发表于 2010-2-7 19:21:20 |显示全部楼层

2.6 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.


Concerning the fact that the adverse impact of political or social view shown by teacher in class overwhelms the positive effect, I agree with the statement that teachers had better not show their subjective view on politics or social problems in their lectures. (直奔主题)


To begin with, it's indisputable that a child's perspective of value could not be formed till he grows up. So, it is not suitable for a teacher to show his own political or social view in class, which would easily have a substantial influence on his students. For example, in order to warn his students (of avoiding) being deceived, my teacher usually conveyed an opinion that our society was fulfill (filled) with sorts of deceit persons. However, one of my classmates misunderstood his opinion and believed that most people were cheats. Meanwhile when I shown (showed) my concern for him when he (was) in dilemma, he was suspicious that whether I had a special purpose. In (As) my perspective, a majority of my friends are kindly and ready to show their helps without rewarding when I (am,为什么句子中总是缺少动词呢?) in need. So, I think a teacher should not show such opinion in class, but leave his students (to)find the truth by themselves.


Furthermore, it is undoubted that if the view show (shown) by a teacher is aggressive and subjective, it would have a negative impact on student (不一定吧,over subjective). From a recent survey by socialists, more and more juvenile criminals were (are) led by a wrong political view conveyed by teachers. For example, last year, a small group of French insulted our Olympic activity in Paris before Olympic Games, one of my teacher acclaimed that we should boycott the products imported from French. Some of my classmates were inflamed by his subjective political view and rush to Carrierfor, a famous supermarket run by French company.(家乐福很有名,不用解释了) In Carrierfor, they destroyed the products shelves and finally were caught by police. So, from this case, the subjective political view of a teacher may have a detrimental influence on his students’ behaviors.


Although there may be some cases that the teacher's points of view would have a positive effect on an individual, it does not mean that we should encourage teacher (to)show their view on politics or social problems. Because a child is too young to discern that whether the view is correct, especially controversial issues.


Judging from what I mentioned above, if a teacher shows their political or social view incorrect, he would have an unimaginable impact on his student. Therefore, I agree that teacher should keep neutral on political or social view in class and leave his students to have a deep reflection by themselves.

文中语法错误较为明显,特别是连一个句子中竟然缺少谓语这种简单的错误都出现了不止一次,另外语言感觉不是那么简洁,稍微有点拖泥带水,而且有点中国式,观点陈述没有足够展开,第二第三段陈述的内容其实均为重复内容,建议换个陈述角度。闪光点是开头较为简洁,直奔主题,考官应该很喜欢!希望言辞不会太尖锐,如有问题,欢迎讨论!

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发表于 2010-2-7 21:08:16 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 bigmaster 于 2010-2-7 21:10 编辑

2# eddie23508ok



Concerning the fact that the adverse impact of political or social view shown by teacher in class overwhelms the positive effect, I agree with the statement that teachers had better not show their subjective view on politics or social problems in their lectures.(开头很不错,赞!)

To begin with, it's indisputable that a child's perspective of value could not be formed till he grows up. So, it is not suitable for a teacher to show his own political or social view in class, which would easily have a substantial influence on his students. For example, in order to warn his students being deceived
(是警告学生避免被欺骗吧?), my teacher usually conveyed an opinion that our society was fulfill with sorts of deceit persons. However, one of my classmates misunderstood his opinion and believed that most people were cheats. Meanwhile when I shown my concern for him when he in dilemma, he was suspicious that whether I had a special purpose. In my perspective, a majority of my friends are kindly and ready to show their helps without rewarding when I in need. So, I think a teacher should not show such opinion in class, but leave his students find the truth by themselves.(例子比较恰当,分析的不错!)
( l& I/ L6 z' i2 `! }8 z4 @9 c- @5 S
Furthermore, it is undoubted that if the view show
shown?) by a teacher is aggressive and subjective, it would have a negative impact on student. From a recent survey by socialists, more and more juvenile criminals were led by a wrong political view conveyed by teachers. For example, last year(?), a small group of French insulted our Olympic activity in Paris before Olympic Games, 连词?)one of my teacher acclaimed that we should boycott the products imported from French. Some of my classmates were inflamed by his subjective political view and rushrushed?) to Carrierfor, a famous supermarket run by French company. In Carrierfor, they destroyed the products shelves and finally were caught by police. So, from this case, the subjective political view of a teacher may have a detrimental influence on his students’ behaviors.

Although there may be some cases that the teacher's points of view would have a positive effect on an individual, it does not mean that we should encourage teacher show their view on politics or social problems. Because a child is too young to discern that whether the view is correct, especially controversial issues.


Judging from what I mentioned above, if a teacher shows their political or social view incorrect, he would have an unimaginable impact on his student. Therefore, I agree that teacher should keep neutral on political or social view in class and leave his students to have a deep reflection by themselves.


本文逻辑性很强,句式多变,词汇丰富,例子生动。建议:1,注意点细节。2,感觉两个论点有一点点重复,结尾没有开头有气势。小弟水平很低,说错之处还请多多包涵!

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RE: 2。6 大作文 [修改]

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2。6 大作文
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