进军美利坚 2.16托福作文by 瓜仔

dairymanUID: 2683905

2月16号 （08.08.08NA）
University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study。
The curriculums of university students are related to what they need to know about their major as well as what they should know as common sense. As this turns out, it is necessary for university students to take basic science classes even if they are students who do not take part in such field of study.
Science classes have been taken by students during their high school times. But the seperation of the direction of both science and art majored students bring about a plight that many of the art students who are well educated in major such as law studying are often lack of scientific common sense. This surely is not the result what our education system wants to produce. Thus, to help university students to learn more about the everyday scientific occurence, it is appropriate for the university concellors to add basic science classes to all university students.
Maybe it is difficult for many students like students in philosiphy to pick up studying phyisics, but the process to solve physics problems can be helpful for the thinking progress of philosiphy students. Because nowadays, courses are much more related to each other, the learning of diverse fields of courses like science classes does lend a helping hand to the fully development for art students. Standing at the period of information boomed era, it is essential to cultivate students in a much wider evision on their majors' advancing direction.
It can be useless to add such unrelated courses even if the courses help nothing on certain students' major. But the university's behavior may help improve the students' understanding of the world in a brand new perspective and the importance of  science in life. Scientific common sense developed during their study of science can also help them better dealing with everyday lives and some difficulties around hands.
In conclusion, it is important for all students to learn science classes even if some do not study in such field. Not only can the scientific courses help improve the comprehension of students' own major, but also would the study of science give us some help in dealing with our everyday lives.

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study。6 k. y& F# }2 l& X

The curriculums of university students are related to what they need to know about their major as well as what they should know as common sense. As this turns out, it is necessary for university students to take basic science classes even if they are students who do not take part in such field of study(what do you mean? I think they means the basic science classes, and you can not say "they are students.....")

Science classes have been taken by students during their high school times(delete). But the separation of the direction of both science and art majored students bring(brings) about a plight that many of the art students who are well educated in major such as law studying are often lack of scientific common sense. This surely is not the result what our education system wants to produce. Thus, to help university students to learn more about the everyday scientific occurrence, it is appropriate for the university councilors to add basic science classes to all university students.4 b: {  u( S. _  R7 j$ {2 f0 F

Maybe it is difficult for many students like students in philosophy to pick up studying physics, but the process to solve physics problems can be helpful for the thinking progress(a little chglish) of philosophy students. Because nowadays, courses are much more related to each other, ( two complete sentences can not be linked by a ",")the learning of diverse fields of courses like science classes does lend a helping hand to the fully development for art students. Standing at the period of information boomed era, it is essential to cultivate students in a much wider vision on their majors' advancing direction.9 g5 x  k$ K* l  O7 B5 n

It can be useless to add such unrelated courses even if the courses help nothing on certain students' major. But the university's behavior may help improve the students' understanding of the world in a brand new perspective and the importance of science in life. Scientific common sense developed during their study of science can also help them better dealing(deal....better) with everyday lives and some difficulties around hands.

In conclusion, it is important for all students to learn science classes even if some do not study in such field(the same mistake as the firt one). Not only can the scientific courses help improve the comprehension of students' own major, but also would the study of science give us some help in dealing with our everyday lives.

The structure of this artical is clear and you have used specific details to inllustrate your points. More details will be better. Good job. Pay attention to the grammar. There are also some spelling mistakes. Keep on!

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

2月16号 （08.08.08NA）
University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study。
The curriculums of university students are related t ...
dairyman 发表于 2010-2-16 23:19

:curse: :curse:

dairymanUID: 2683905

2月17号 （08.03.01NA）
To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.

Tracing the history of human beings, numerous problems occurred and were being solved by man kinds. No matter the problems maintained in the same way or came into across in different styles, the understanding of  the past is certainly necessary for people to get clear.

Problems could exist in society in almost the same way as they were. The dilemma of peace and war is an troublesome topic for any person to handle at any historical era. These plights help people accumulate valuable understanding of how war generated and how can it diminished as time went by. But whatever the facial reason that causes the war, the origine of war has long been studied and the way to solve war fairs still remain only one answer---win brings peace. As we can find out, it is useful for people to learn about the past, and seek answers for the ever exited problems in the old times.

Brand new troubles increased as the highly developed technology took place. Considerable pollutions are the direct result of the progress of human beings. Never before had people pay attention to the troubles created exactly by ourselves, and these new problems still have something to do with the experience of the past. Pollution can be solved by changing lanes to ways of sustenable development, which is more like the ancient way of living from our ancestors. Even if the formers did not get the chance to deal with the problems, their way of surviving is precious enough for us to learn from and to get advices.

Understand the past is not only a kind of method to get experiences, but also a behaviour to acknowledge the value of the past cultures.  With this kind of admiration for the past intelligence, we can have a better attitude dealing the present problems and even the unexpected future ones. History is the records of how humen striggle to achieve goals and solve problems, and those experience in the past can still be token as a guide book for us to solve problems both at present and in the future.

Mason.PDUID: 2592013

Tracing the history of human beings, numerous problems occurred and were being solved by man kinds. No matter the problems maintained in the same way or came into across in different styles, the understanding of  the past is certainly necessary for people to get clear.


Problems could exist in society in almost the same way as they were. The dilemma of peace and war is an troublesome topic for any person to handle at（还是in？） any historical era. These plights help people accumulate valuable understanding of how war generated（这个话有点怪） and how can it diminished as time went by. But whatever the facial reason that causes the war, the origine of war has long been studied and the way to solve war fairs still remain only one answer---win brings peace.（如果这是你这一段引用战争的结论的话） As we can find out（那么这一句总结酒不是太合适了，前面讲胜利带来和平，后面突然说历史，中间少一句过渡）, it is useful for people to learn about the past, and seek answers for the ever exited problems in the old times
这一段你缺少你的topic sentence。（不知道托福是不是这样要求的。。）你的段首句其实只是一句很没有意思的话和下文关系也不大。战争的例子很好，但是到最后过渡到研究过去又太生硬。

Brand new troubles increased as the highly developed technology took place. Considerable pollutions are the direct result of the progress of human beings. Never before had people pay attention to the troubles created exactly by ourselves, and these new problems still have something to do with the experience of the past. Pollution can be solved by changing lanes to ways of sustenable（sustainable？） development, which is more like the ancient way of living from our ancestors. Even if the formers did not get the chance to deal with the problems, their way of surviving is precious enough for us to learn from and to get advices.
还是这个问题。你应该在开头就说，污染问题的过去经验可以借鉴，或者说without understood the past of our ancestors battle with problems brought from techniques, we can not survive.....

Understand the past is not only a kind of method to get experiences, but also a behaviour to acknowledge the value of the past cultures. (如果这是你的TS的话下面应该有展开说关于culture的东西) With this kind of admiration for the past intelligence, we can have a better attitude dealing the present problems and even the unexpected future ones. History is the records of how humen striggle to achieve goals and solve problems, and those experience in the past can still be token as a guide book for us to solve problems both at present and in the future.

句子很好学习了不过我觉得你对作文结构把握不是太好
每段开头没有TS，结尾才知道你想说什么
Body1和2的观点很相似，3段没张开就结尾了（不知道是不是时间问题？）
个人看法，欢迎讨论

stefanie299UID: 2667762

2月17号 （08.03.01NA）
solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.

Tracing the history of human beings, numerous problems occurred and were being solved by man kinds. No matter the problems maintained in the same way or came into across in different styles, the understanding of  the past is certainly necessary for people to get clear.% o% ]% r. @" f+ @7 j" ]7 W
: N8 Q4 h! m6 o) v$ A/ U- W
Problems could exist in society in almost the same way as they were. The dilemma of peace and war is a troublesome topic for any person to handle at any historical era.(这两句似乎不能很好的衔接) These plights help people accumulate valuable understanding of how war generated and how can it diminished as time went by. But whatever the facial reason that causes the war, the origin of war has long been studied and the way to solve war fairs still remain only one answer---win brings peace. As we can find out, it is useful for people to learn about the past, and seek answers for the ever exited problems in the old times.% q0 V4 l# n5 p+ m8 S
# F. a' T$ l) K# L" H+ |
Brand new troubles increased as the highly developed technology took place. Considerable pollutions are the direct result of the progress of human beings. Never before had people pay attention to the troubles created exactly by ourselves, and these new problems still have something to do with the experience of the past. Pollution can be solved by changing lanes to ways of sustenable(可持续发展sustainable) development, which is more like the ancient way of living from our ancestors. Even if the formers did not get the chance to deal with the problems, their way of surviving is precious enough for us to learn from and to get advices.（我觉得这一段的观点不是很鲜明）7 L( z7 t! j/ x* K, G- Q9 Q

Understand the past is not only a kind of method to get experiences, but also a behaviour(behavior) to acknowledge the value of the past cultures.  With this kind of admiration for the past intelligence, we can have a better attitude dealing the present problems and even the unexpected future ones. History is the records of how humen striggle(human struggle) to achieve goals and solve problems, and those experiences in the past can still be token as a guide book for us to solve problems both at present and in the future.

你的语法很好呀，向你学习。
主要是一些词的拼写方面需要注意，还有就是不知道是不是由于这次题目有些抽象的原因，似乎论证的立场不够鲜明。
个人意见，我觉得有时间我们可以深入讨论这类题可以怎样更好的去处理。