218独立写作小组By Mason.PD

Mason.PDUID: 2592013

Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues

Through the development of the process of human history arises a serious problem, which concentrates on whether government should draw more attention on health care issues rather than on environment ones. In my opinion, circumstance should not be ignored or pay little attention compared with health care. In general, it is supported by the physical benefits on individuals, financial advantages and sustainable development. These reasons will be provided in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, it is the development on environment issues, rather than the health care issues, which bring tremendous positive impacts on individuals, which should be taken note by government in basic project. Widely speaking, although the revolution in health care politics may offer people strong bodies and optimistic attitudes, however, environmental development fundamentally wipes out the circumstance of bacteria, ameliorating people’s living atmosphere. For example, if a city is polluted by the dirty water discharged from chemical industry, no matter how careful the government treats patients, it will not solve the problem basically. What government should do is to reorganize those chemical industries and clean the polluted water, which will finally step out this mire.

Furthermore, the more the government pays on the issues about environment, the more efficiency the work will be. To be honest, compared with health care issues, changes in environment will no doubt concentrate on one critical thing more easily, a result that large numbers of benefits will bring out. For instance, health care on old man only treat the orders, while cleaning air can take all the citizens into consideration; health care on patients who get cancers only reflects something good to those sick, while improvement on climate benefit all. In other words, if government can only make one decision to accomplish many achievements, they will definitely save much money.

The last but not the least, we should not neglect sustainable development which the environment can bring about. To be specific, it is known that health care only consider these people who live present, but the development of environment can provide countless benefits not only for us, but also our offspring. The more forests we have, the cleaner atmosphere we have, the more treasure we can left for our children. Take the green earth project as an typical example .Admittedly, this project, which the whole world’s governments have spent lots of money and energy in it, seems to have little effect on us now, but it can be predicted that these investment in green construction will pay back with interests someday.

So I insist my suggestion that the government should pay more attention on environment issues.

还是写了40多分钟。sigh。

tqidtestUID: 2766196

Through the development of human history，it arises a serious problem that concentrates on whether government should draw more attentions on health care issues than environment ones. In my opinion,
environment (circumstance 似乎是气氛和氛围的感觉) should not be ignored or pay little attention compared with health care. （主题句最好不要用否定形式或是双否句）In general, it is supported by the physical benefits on individuals, financial advantages and sustainable development. The reasons will be provided as following.

To begin with, it is the development on environment issues, rather than the health care issues, which bring tremendous positive impacts on individuals, which should be taken note by government in basic project (我觉得尽量少用which，两句话不要用一句话讲).
Widely speaking, although the revolution in health care politics may offer people strong bodies and optimistic attitudes, environmental development can fundamentally wipe out the circumstance of bacteria, and ameliorate people’s living atmosphere. For example, if a city is polluted by the dirty water discharged from chemical industry, no matter how careful the government treats patients, it will not basically solve the problem. What government should do is to reorganize those chemical industries and clean the polluted water, which will finally step out this mire.

Furthermore, the more the government pays on the issues about environment, the more efficienct the work will be. To be honest, compared with health care issues, changes in environment will no doubt concentrate on important things,which will bring out large numbers of benefits. For instance, health care on old man only treat the orders, while cleaning air can take all the citizens into consideration; health care on cancer patients only help the specific ones, while improving the environment will benefit all. If government can only make one decision to accomplish many achievements, they will definitely save much money on the environment improvement

The last but not the least, we should not neglect sustainable development which the environment can bring about. To be specific, it is known that health care only consider these people who live present, but the development of environment can provide countless benefits not only for us, but also our offspring. The more forests we have, the cleaner atmosphere we have, the more treasure we can left for our children. Take the green earth project as an typical example .Admittedly, this project, which the whole world’s governments have spent lots of money and energy in it, seems to have little effect on us now, but it can be predicted that these investment in green construction will pay back with interests someday.

Thus Iinsist my suggestion that the government should pay more attention on environment issues.-

怎么说呢，我觉得manson的词汇量还是很够的，基础还是挺好，所以还是有潜力写出很好的文章。就是句子的把握上和语法需要提高。To be honest ，widely speaking，to be specific 我看了后觉得还是很受用。

showgood07UID: 2605959

Through the development of the process of human history arises a serious problem, which concentrates on whether government should draw more attention on health care issues rather than on environment ones. In my opinion, circumstance（这个不能替代表示环境问题） should not be ignored or pay little attention compared with health care. In general, it is supported by the physical benefits on individuals, financial advantages and sustainable development. These reasons will be provided in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, it is the development on environment issues, rather than the health care issues, which bring tremendous positive impacts on individuals, which should be taken note by government in basic project. （这句话有点不清楚） Widely speaking, although the revolution in health care politics may offer people strong bodies and optimistic attitudes, however, environmental development fundamentally wipes out the circumstance of bacteria, ameliorating people’s living atmosphere. For example, if a city is polluted by the dirty water discharged from chemical industry, no matter how careful the government treats patients, it will not solve the problem basically. What government should do is to reorganize those chemical industries and clean the polluted water, which will finally step out this mire.

Furthermore, the more the government pays on the issues about environment, the more efficiency the work will be（这个逻辑不对，越关注，不能代表越有效；不过也许T里面不注重逻辑吧）. To be honest, compared with health care issues, changes in environment will no doubt concentrate on one critical thing more easily, a result that large numbers of benefits will bring out. For instance, health care on old man only treat the orders, while cleaning air can take all the citizens into consideration; health care on patients who get cancers only reflects something good to those sick, while improvement on climate benefit all. In other words, if government can only make one decision to accomplish many achievements, they will definitely save much money.

The last but not the least, we should not neglect sustainable development which the environment can bring about. To be specific, it is known that health care only consider these people who live present, but the development of environment can provide countless benefits not only for us, but also our offspring. The more forests we have, the cleaner atmosphere we have, the more treasure we can left for our children. Take the green earth project as an typical example .Admittedly, this project, which the whole world’s governments have spent lots of money and energy in it, seems to have little effect on us now, but it can be predicted that these investment in green construction will pay back with interests someday.

So I insist my suggestion that the government should pay more attention on environment issues

童鞋很喜欢连续使用疑问词做排比，是否妥当，值得商榷，其中第二段前和最后，我都不太确定是否正确。例子也是略显单薄，不够深入，论述力度不够，不过驾驭得还不错。整体还不错。