issue130 球拍

gorbyUID: 2730851

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
I learned from the author’s statement that his claim contains two aspects.First is the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized today . I share the idea with the author insofar as the extent of children’s socialization do have an affection while there are some other factors more important.And I don’t agree with the second idea that we still have no idea how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Admittedly, children’s socialization exert a profound influence on life. Learning the attitudes, values, and studying actions appropriate to individuals as a member of the society for a child means he could communicate and interact with others well when he grows up. And it also contributes to the society’s progress. Chairman Mao compared children to the sun in the morning.It is children today decide the progress of the society twenty or thirty years later.Hence,a better society desires for better socialization of children.
      Nonetheless,socialization is not the only key determinant.In retrospect of our history,other factors such as questioning the authorities and moral standards
also have to be taken into account.Considering Aristotle’ dictum which encourage the followers to challenge rulers :Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth . Aristotle made a indelible contribution to the society by pursuing truth.This spirit also became a martyr’s pillar. Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake by authorities in 1600 after the Roman Inquisition found him guilty of heresy .But people will never forget his devotion for free thought and modern scientific ideas.At the same time,no one can neglect moral standards such as self-control.Considering that George Washington did not abdicate from the president by the end of his four-year term in office,the USA would step into another direction anyway.Socialization itself cann’t take the place of other factors which influence the progress of  the society.
      Refering to the author’s second idea,I insist that our society are better nowadays.I concedes there are some teenagers are addicted to the Internet and do not realize their responsibilities.But it just represents limited proportion. From my viewpoint,a good society is full of respects and tolerance.Everyone of it lives without unreasonable constraints.For example,the marriage of young people are decided by their parents before.It’s not a surprise that the couple don’t meet each other until the wedding ceremony.The situation totally changes now and young people choose their husbands or wives themselves. And there are also other examples such as opposing to the discrimination against women and racial discrimination.In my opinion,we find a way  how to raise children who can help bring about a better society to some extent.

To summarize,when it comes to what’s the factors that contribute to a better society,the key determinant is not only socialization but also some other factors such as questioning the authority and moral standards.And in my observation of the society,it steadily evolving into the one that more respectful and tolerant.

LaoZZZZZUID: 2747300

I learned from the author’s statement that his claim contains two aspects. First is the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized today . I share the idea with the author insofar as the extent of children’s socialization do have an affection/effect on the destiny of society, while there are some other factors more important(逻辑反了吧？).And I don’t agree/disagree with the second idea that we still have no idea how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Admittedly, children’s socialization exerts a profound influence on life. Learning the attitudes, values, and studying actions appropriate to individuals as a member of the society for a child means he could communicate and interact(一个意思吧？) with others well/smoothly更合适吧？ when he grows up. And it also contributes to the society’s progress. Chairman Mao compared children to the sun in the morning.It is children today decide/promise更合适吧 the progress of the society twenty or thirty years later.Hence,a better society desires for better socialization of children.
      Nonetheless,socialization is not the only key determinant.In retrospect of our history,other factors such as questioning the authorities and moral standards also have to be taken into account.Considering Aristotle’ dictum which encourages the followers to challenge rulers :Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth . Aristotle made a indelible contribution to the society by pursuing truth.This spirit also became a martyr’s pillar. Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake by authorities in 1600 after the Roman Inquisition found him guilty of heresy .But people will never forget his devotion for free thought and modern scientific ideas. At the same time, no one can neglect moral standards such as self-control. Considering that George Washington did not abdicate from the president/presidency by the end of his four-year term in office ,the USA would step into another direction anyway. Socialization itself cann’t take the place of/cannot replace (最好不要带” ‘ ”)other factors which influence the progress of  the society.
      Refering to the author’s second idea, I insist that our society are better nowadays.I concedes there are some teenagers are addicted to the Internet and do not realize their responsibilities.But it just represents limited proportion. From my viewpoint,a good society is full of respect and tolerance. Everyone of it lives without unreasonable constraints.(有点不切实际。。建议斟酌下)For example, the marriage of young people are/was totally decided by their parents before.Further more ,It’s not a surprise that the couple don’t meet each other until the wedding ceremony.The situation totally changes now and young people choose their husbands or wives themselves. (例子很好，但是说的太直白了，而且都是简单句，最好加些连接词，或者整合成漂亮的长句)And there are also other examples such as opposing to the discrimination against women and racial discrimination.In my opinion,we find a way  how 删 to raise children who can help bring about a better society to some extent.

To summarize, when it comes to what’s the factors that contribute to a better society,the key/core(避免重复，可以用些同义词替换) determinants is/are（最好用contains, are comprised of） not only socialization but also some other factors such as questioning the authority and moral standards.(这边少了句话吧？逻辑不是很完整)And in my observation of the society, it steadily evolving into the one that more respectful and tolerant.

gorbyUID: 2730851

2# LaoZZZZZ
非常感谢啊

NEU公孙轩辕UID: 2697609

I learned/learn from the author’s statement that his claim contains two aspects.First is the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized today . I share the idea with the author insofar as the extent of children’s socialization does have an affection, while there are some other factors more important.And/ In addition I don’t agree/disagree with the second idea that we still have no idea about how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Admittedly, children’s socialization exerts a profound influence on their life(谁的life?要说完整). Learning the attitudes, values, and studying/developing(都还没学呢，怎么研究啊？） actions/behaviors   appropriate to/essential for individuals as a member of the society for a child means he or she could communicate and interact with others well when he grows up(这个grow up 有问题，难道只有长大了才能和别人良好沟通，小的时候就不行撒.....).（Through learning attitudes, values and developing behaviors essential for individuals as a member of society, our children promise to master the ability to communicate and interact with others harmoniously, which will benefit both of their future life and our society's progress ) And it also contributes to the society’s progress. Chairman Mao once compared children to the sun in the morning.It is children today decide the progress of the society twenty or thirty years later.Hence,a better society desires for better socialization of children.

Nonetheless,socialization is not the only key determinant.In retrospect of our history,other factors, such as questioning the authorities and moral standards, also have to be taken into account.Considering Aristotle’ dictum which encourage the followers to challenge rulers :Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth . Aristotle made a indelible contribution to the society by pursuing truth.This spirit has also became/become a martyr’s pillar. Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake by authorities in 1600 after the Roman Inquisition found him guilty of heresy .But people will never forget his devotion for free thought and modern scientific ideas.At the same time,no one can neglect moral standards such as self-control.Considering that George Washington did not abdicate from the president by the end of his four-year term in office,the USA would step into another direction anyway.Socialization itself cann’t/can't take the place of other factors which influence the progress of  the society.

Refering to the author’s second idea,I insist that our society are better nowadays.I concedes/concede there are some teenagers who are addicted to the Internet and do not realize their responsibilities(of what？).But it just represents/amunts to a limited proportion. From my viewpoint,a good society is full of respects and tolerance.Everyone of it lives without unreasonable constraints.For example,the marriage of young people are decided by their parents, and it’s not a surprise that the couple don’t meet each other until the wedding ceremony.The situation has totally changed(推荐完成式） now and young people possess the right to choose their husbands or wives themselves. And/In addition, there are also other examples, such as opposing to the discrimination against women and racial discrimination.In my opinion,we find a way  how to raise children who can help bring about a better society to some extent.

To summarize,when it comes to what’s/ are the factors that contribute to a better society,the key determinant is not only socialization but also some other factors such as questioning the authority and moral standards.And(这个用法我也不知道可不可以，不过我没见过） in my observation of the society,it steadily evolving into the one that more respectful and tolerant.

逻辑比上次好多了，注意一下句子之间的过渡，语言基本没问题，加油~~~

nannan6474UID: 2612196

I learned from the author’s statement that his claim contains two aspects. First is the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized today. I share the idea with the author insofar as the extent of children’s socialization do have an affection while there are some other factors more important(这句话写得有点乱啊，insofar as the extent of children’s socialization是主语？while  there are some other factors  which are more important). And I don’t agree with the second idea that we still have no idea how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
其实我觉得你先分别把两个aspects写出来，然后再分别讨论你赞不赞成他们好了

Admittedly, children’s socialization exert a profound influence on life（建议改成influents children lives profoundly， 觉得exert用得有点怪）. Learning the attitudes, values, and studying actions appropriate to individuals as a member of the society for a child means （that） he could communicate and interact with others well when he grows up.（这句话要不拆开两句写吧……）And it also contributes to the society’s progress. Chairman Mao compared children to the sun in the morning. （这个例子….外国人不知道接不接受啊，可以举实例，例如现在的社会变得越来越人性化什么的）It is children today decide the progress of the society twenty or thirty years later.Hence,a better society desires for better socialization of children.

Nonetheless, socialization is not the only key determinant.（这句话不如改写成只是其中一个影响因素吧，而且这个句子也没有说明socialization不是什么的一个决定性因素啊）In retrospect of our history, other factors such as questioning the authorities and moral standards also have to be taken into account. Considering Aristotle’ dictum（thinking或idea好一点） which encourage the followers to challenge rulers :Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth（dearer是什么意思啊？） . Aristotle made a indelible contribution to the society by pursuing truth. This spirit also became a martyr’s pillar.（这个例子的侧重点应该是质问权威决定了社会命运或推动了社会发展，而不是说他有这个观点，做出了贡献，应该具体点，怎样做出贡献，推动了什么法令或者怎样，而且rules 和authority是有偏差的） Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake by authorities in 1600 after the Roman Inquisition found him guilty of heresy .But people will never forget his devotion for free thought and modern scientific ideas（什么idea？具体的说，怎样冲击了宗教）. At the same time,no one can neglect moral standards such as self-control.（这句话放在这里和上下文有点衔接不上） Considering that George Washington did not abdicate from the president by the end of his four-year term in office,（ the USA would step into another direction anyway）这句话你是想表达什么意思呢？和决定社会命运有什么关系了. Socialization itself cann’t take the place of other factors which influence the progress of  the society. 这段的主题直接就写社会化只是社会命运的其中一个方面，还有其他因素影响，这样你的思路可能会明确一点

      Refering to the author’s second idea,I insist that our society are better nowadays.I concedes there are some teenagers are addicted to the Internet and do not realize their responsibilities. But it just represents limited proportion.（这两句觉得有点跑题去讲青少年沉溺于上网了，不要写比较好） From my viewpoint,a good society is full of respects and tolerance. Everyone of it lives without unreasonable constraints. For example,the marriage of young people are decided by their parents before. It’s not a surprise that the couple don’t meet each other until the wedding ceremony.（什么意思呢，结婚？父母？不用见面？）The situation totally changes now and young people choose their husbands or wives themselves. （要和better society联系上）And there are also other examples such as opposing to the discrimination against women and racial discrimination.In my opinion,we find a way  how to raise children who can help bring about a better society to some extent.

To summarize,when it comes to what’s the factors that contribute to a better society,the key determinant is not only socialization but also some other factors such as questioning the authority and moral standards.And in my observation of the society,it steadily evolving into the one that more respectful and tolerant.
思路不够清晰，比较混乱，要好好改改了，个人浅见，有问题一起讨论

gorbyUID: 2730851

4# NEU公孙轩辕 感谢的撒~

gorbyUID: 2730851

5# nannan6474 谢谢哈~