独立写作小组2.22byrjyuu

rjyuuUID: 2591508

毛坯版
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?
When asked about whether a government should focus its budget more on very young children education or on univeristy, different people have differen opinions. Witnessing how great American and many other western developed countries have benefited from a well developed university educational system, present day many people envision university education as an issue that,  since people entering the information era, of undoubtedly greatest weight. However, from my point of view, it is  young children education that deserves government's more attention. My reasons are as follows.
To start with, university is a place where students accquire specific knowlegde, so that they could live a better life, while early education is something that serves to make sure that no one would have a problem in making a living. In early education we learn how to read and right, how to do the basic calculation and how to make public speech. A nation could exist without top scientists or professors, yet no nation could survive without the shop clerks, farmers, workers, or cleanmen. All these positions demand qulified people who have received admirable basic education.  
Besides, it is in early education, rather than elite's education, university education for instance,  that young students get socialized. When  we are a baby no one has an idea about how should he or she behave in a group. It is through the unavoidable competition and cooperation in football games, our every day's causal chat with our friends, the frequent occurance of quarrels and conflicts and the later efforts we made to remedy, that we gradually, conscious or unconsciously,  accquire the ability to construct and sustain relationship. All these procedures are finished before we are mature enough to attend a univeristy. How children are sociallized today determines the future of a society. It will be too high a price for the government to fail to pay enough attention to young children's education.
Finally, universities usually do not rely too much on the nation's financil support. There are many students donationg money to there money school each year, yet without government's support basic education could not bloosom.
All analysis mentioned above justifies the unshakable conclusion that  a government should pay more attention to young children education.

Word Count: 398



修改版
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When asked about whether a government should focus its budget more on very young children education or on university, different people have different opinions. Witnessing how enormously American and many other western developed countries have benefited from a well developed university educational system, present day many people envision university education as an issue that,  since people entering the information era, has been of undoubtedly immense weight. However, from my point of view, it is  young children education that deserves government's more attention. My reasons are as follows.

To start with, university is a place where students acquire specific knowledge, so that they could live a better life, while early education is something that serves to make sure that no one would have a problem in making a living. In early education we learn how to read and write, how to do the basic calculation and how to make public speech. A nation could exist without top scientists or professors, yet no nation could survive without the shop clerks, farmers, workers, or clean men on the street. All these occupations demand qualified people who have received admirable basic education.  

Besides, it is in early education, rather than elite's education, for instance university education ,  that young students get socialized. When  we are a baby no one has an idea about how should he or she behave in a group. It is through the unavoidable competition and cooperation in football games, our every day's causal chat with our friends,as well as the frequent occurrence of quarrels and conflicts and the later efforts we made to remedy, that we gradually, conscious or unconsciously,  acquire the ability to construct and sustain relationship. All these processes are finished before we are mature enough to attend a university. How children are socialized today determines the future of a society. It will be too high a price if the government fail to pay enough attention to young children education.

Finally, universities usually do not rely too much on a nation's finance. There are many graduate donations to their universities each year, yet without government's support a nation's basic education could by no means blossom.

All analysis mentioned above justifies the unshakable conclusion that  a government should pay more attention to young children education.

showgood07UID: 2605959

When asked about whether a government should focus its budget more on very young children education or on university, different people have different opinions[UU每篇必有这句话呀，呵呵]. Witnessing how enormously American and many other western developed countries have benefited from a well developed university educational system, present day many people envision university education as an issue that,  since people entering the information era, has been of undoubtedly immense weight. However, from my point of view, it is  young children education that deserves government's more attention. My reasons are as follows. [开头段也挺绕的]

To start with, university is a place where students acquire specific knowledge, so that they could live a better life, while early education is something that serves to make sure that no one would have a problem in making a living. In early education we learn how to read and write, how to do the basic calculation and how to make public speech. A nation could exist without top scientists or professors, yet no nation could survive without the shop clerks, farmers, workers, or clean men on the street[这个有点说得太严重了吧]. All these occupations demand qualified people who have received admirable basic education.  

Besides, it is in early education, rather than elite's education, for instance university education ,  that young students get socialized[这句是什么意思，缺成分]. When  we are a baby[时态，单复数，都不对] no one has an idea about how should he or she behave in a group[怪怪的，但说不上来是哪里]. It is through the unavoidable competition and cooperation in football games[这句话说了前提，但是没有说结果], our every day's causal chat with our friends,as well as the frequent occurrence of quarrels and conflicts and the later efforts we made to remedy, that we gradually, conscious or unconsciously,  acquire the ability to construct and sustain relationship. All these processes are finished before we are mature enough to attend a university. How children are socialized today determines the future of a society. It will be too high a price if the government fail to pay enough attention to young children education[漂亮]
Finally, universities usually do not rely too much on a nation's finance. There are many graduate donations to their universities each year, yet without government's support a nation's basic education could by no means blossom.

All analysis mentioned above justifies the unshakable conclusion that  a government should pay more attention to young children education

nathanycUID: 2551974

我的修改见附件,我在word里做了批注

rjyuuUID: 2591508

3# nathanyc

谢谢啦！