习作-3.15 argument167求拍

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 375          TIME: 00:53:25          DATE: 2010-3-15 22:17:51





It is a ostensibly good news for those who suffer with insomnia, after all, the arguer provide us a convenient way to address this ailment. Howver, the patients may be disappointed to the scent in lavender flowers if they simply accept the arguer'a conclusion got from a questionable study in this argument.






In the first place, the information about the 30 volunteers is too vague to support the conclusion. If the volunteers are all men, can we arrive at the conclusion that lavender work in women's body?  or on the contrary? If all them are youthful ones, can we decide that the folk remedy also cure the old? If they are from a certain place, will we believe that the same way help those who live up with insomnia in all other places? In other words, the samples in this study are possibly not representative at all before the arguer give more specifics. Moreover, 30 is a too small number to detemine whether a medicine is effective.





In the second place, another problem with this argument is that the arguer unfairly assume that the longer and more soundly sleep of volunteers in the third week result frome the lavender scent. However, there exist no direct evidence to justfy it. Maybe, other factors such as over fatigue or emergences of someting relaxing caused the outcome. And we can't rule out any infulence comes from the medications for such a short time after they left it. In fact, whether the postulant were really experiencing a good sleep in the third week is open to dout. After all, the arguer has not provide us feelings of  them after sleeping just does like the former two weeks. If they feel even more tired, the conclusion may run opposite.





Af last, the quality of sleep of these volunteers after the three weeks is virtually more important. However, the arguer ignore them. Seeing the insomnia is a chronic illness, only a long-term study could lead any conclusion. If the time after these weeks, their situations get better little or even go worse, this folk remedy lost effectiveness totally.




To sum up,  the aguer can't convince us by such a hasty generalization. To support the conclusin, other work such as a more representative study, more long time and more careful observation is needed.

FloridaffUID: 2772878

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia. *A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 375          TIME: 00:53:25          DATE: 2010-3-15 22:17:51

It is a ostensibly good news for those who suffer with insomnia, after all, the arguer provide（应为provides） us a convenient way to address this ailment. Howver, the patients may be disappointed to the scent in lavender flowers if they simply accept the arguer'a conclusion got from a questionable study in this argument.

In the first place, the information about the 30 volunteers is too vague to support the conclusion. If the volunteers are all men, can we arrive at the conclusion that lavender work in women's body?  or on the contrary? If all them are youthful ones, can we decide that the folk remedy also cure（此处应为cures） the old? If they are from a certain place, will we believe that the same way help those who live up with insomnia in all other places? In other words, the samples in this study are possibly not representative at all before the arguer give more specifics. Moreover, 30 is a too small number to detemine whether a medicine is effective.

In the second place, another problem with this argument is that the arguer unfairly assume that the longer and more soundly sleep of volunteers in the third week result frome（from） the lavender scent. However, there exist（exists） no direct evidence to justfy（justify） it. Maybe, other factors such as over fatigue or emergences of someting relaxing caused the outcome. And we can't rule out any infulence comes from the medications for such a short time after they left it. In fact, whether the postulant were really experiencing a good sleep in the third week is open to dout（doubt）. After all, the arguer has not provide（此处是完成时么？） us feelings of  them after sleeping just does like the former two weeks.（此句结构有点混乱） If they feel even more tired, the conclusion may run opposite.

Af last, the quality of sleep of these volunteers after the three weeks is virtually more important. However, the arguer ignore（ignores） them. Seeing the insomnia is a chronic illness, only a long-term study could lead any conclusion. If the time after these weeks, their situations get better little or even go worse, this folk remedy lost effectiveness totally.

To sum up,  the aguer（arguer） can't convince us by such a hasty generalization. To support the conclusin, other work such as a more representative study, more long time and more careful observation is needed.


楼主此文逻辑思维较清晰，不过，个人认为漏掉了一个很重要的逻辑漏洞：缺少对照组，全部的volunteers是在使用薰衣草香气枕头的前提下进行试验的，没有空白对照组。稍微注意一下第三人称单数的问题，会更好一些。

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 375          TIME: 00:53:25          DATE: 2010-3-15 22:17:51


The conclusion that lavender cures insomnia is a possible case but not very convincing, for there are several facets in this argument are questionable. First, the author unfairly assumes that these volunteers had get rid of insomnia.  In addition, the study lack of a control group. And the reliability of the study is open to question.I will discuss each of them below.


The mere fact that during the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than previous two weeks does not prove that they had recover from insomnia. Common sense tells us that, insomnia majorly means that one has difficulty dropping  asleep.Howevr, this argument provide no such data indicating that these volunteers are easier falling asleep. In addittion, the author fails to inform us  these volunteers' feeling after they wakened just like the what he do during previous two weeks. It's possible that they would feel more tired. If this is case, we can't accept the author's implicit assmption that they are out of insomnia now. Moreover, with out knowing more information their situation after these three weeks,  it's still doubtful that the insomnia, which is a chronic ill, had been cured.

Granted that these volunteers had been cured, since the study fails to provide us a control group, the causal relationship between lavender scent and the recovering from insomnia is not well built. It's possible that, some effect of usual sleeping medication remais in bodies of these volunteers. It's also possible that, after two weeks' study, all of them bccome tired, as a result, they slept more soundly during the third week. Further more, this argument overlook some spititual effect that may have impact on the sleep quality. Perhaps, when knowing that they are being cured by doctors, these volunteers worried less about insomnia, thus got a better sleep. So, to rule out all these possibilities, the author should provide a controld group, otherwise, we have no reason to believe that the lavender scent is really effective.

Finally, the data about thes volunteers is too vague to reach the conclusion that, lavender scent will be effective for every one. If all of the are men,  it will be doubtful the same result will happen in women boydies. If all of them are old people, it's possible that these remedy will not function well in the young. Without knoing more specific information about these people, the conclusion could be premature.

Overall, this argument is not reasonable as it stands. To prove that thise remedy really work in curing insomnia, at first, a more representative subjects for the study is necessary, in addition, tha researchers aslo shold introduces a control group, what's more, a more loing time periods observation is needed.