peterandmz的作文

peterandmzUID: 2756308

处女作，感觉有点生涩，结尾应该还能丰富一下，anyway 时间内就码了这么多字，307也差不多够了，不过肯定很多错，欢迎交流.....
Nowadays, factories and companies love to put their adverisements on TV, newspapers or Internet to introduce their products.But, unfortunatly, I think that these advertisments are usually exaggrated. What is worse, most advertisements are even better than they really are! I will try to examine below the specific points for that according to which I think are  most common viewpoints of ordinary people.

First of all,producers are all running after profits,which lead to the consiquence that ADs on television emphersize to much on the advantages of commandities, never tell the drawbacks. For example, I was really appreicate about Toyota's advertisement. The story was enjoyble and background music was well down. From the AD, I knew that cars of Toyota are not only well designed but also safe and cheap. However, the advertisement did't tell me that the brake system would not act when the car reach a certain speed, which was the reason why Toyota cars offen cause accidents recently. If I had got enough money , I might buy one. How lucky I was.

And,  Some people hold the idea that the quality must be guanranteed if some supersatrs appear on certain advertisments.Because famous people must pay much attention on their reputation, it is not easy for these singers or actors to  earn such a good fame.However, it is proved that some spokenmen or spokenwomen do not offen use the productions they advertise. For instance, you must have seen Yaoming, the famous Chinese basketball star, advertise Coca Cola; however,unfortunatlly, Yao hasn't dunk any drop of Coke since he went to NBA for the reason that soda drinks are harmful to his career as an athlete.

Thus, I sum, according to the foregoing discussion, it is   safe to draw a conclusion that the really products are not as goog as they are seems in advertisements.

peterandmzUID: 2756308

楼上语法很棒啊,我才知道which不能代前一句话
well down是口语，也就是好的意思，用在这里可能有点口语化了
最后那句说的是姚明去NBA之后就不喝碳酸饮料因为碳酸饮料对运动员的来说是有害的，确实这里用短句比较好
改成
Yao has not dun any drop of Coke since he went to NBA.Becasuse soda drinks are harmful to his career as an athlete.
我也就写了两段，没事啊，2段就2段，例子多举点，论据写长点，字数凑满就行了....况且你字数不是问题

peterandmzUID: 2756308

As a consequence of the development of our society, advertising has been improved much in rescent couple of decades.However, some people who hold the opinion that consumers have already know what they want to buy point out that  advertisement is a waste of a company's money and time.Contrary to the opinion of these people is my heartfelt afreement with the idea that ads are necessary.I will try to examine below the specific reasons according to which I think are of great importance.

First of all.Some ads will bring new invetions which people have not even heard of before.Advertisement is a way for us to get these imformation.Taking the latest and hottest electronical product,Ipad, for example, people had not what Ipad is until they saw the Ad on the TV or Internet.From the advertisement they realised that Ipad is a new invetion of Apple company. They can use ipad watching TV programs, chatting with our friends on the Internet and so on. Now Ipad has been the best seller in the US from about 3 weeks .

Moreover,as far as I know,people do not always know what they want to buy, especialy sometimes when they want to buy something unfamiliar.At that time, Ad could help they to choose what or which to buy.For instance, my mother wanted to buy a digital camara, but she got confused by viarious of camaras in the store.Finally, She chose a type of Sony's camara just because she had seen the ad of that on TV.

Last,but not the least, I love to watch some well produced advertisments such as ads of Kia. These advertisements always have some celebrites performences with moving stories and tremendous background music. I really appreciate watching these masterpiece.

So, I sum, according to the foregoing discussion , it is safe to draw a conclusion that although sometimes people have already known what commodity to buy before they attend shop, advertisements are still necessary.

yxb_25UID: 2758094

昨天太忙了，没改LZ的作业，已经补改了哈，在楼下，不好意思啦

yxb_25UID: 2758094

As a consequence of the development of our society, advertising has been improved much in rescent couple of decades(in rescent couple of decades这样说有点啰嗦).However, some people who hold the opinion that consumers have already know what they want to buy point out that  advertisement is a waste

of a company's money and time(advertisement is wasting company's money and time).
Contrary（On the contrary,)
to the opinion of these people is my heart
felt a
freement (freement? 你想说什么）with the idea that ads are necessary.I will try to examine below the specific reasons according to which I think are of great importance.(总感觉LZ的句子用得很怪）


First of all.Some ads will bring new invetions which people have not even heard of before.
Advertisement is a way for us to get these imformation.Taking the latest and hottest electronical product,Ipad, for example（ as an example, iPad这样好点）, people had not what Ipad is until they saw the(去掉） Ad(ads)
on the（去掉）TV or Internet.From the advertisement they realised that Ipad is a new invetion of Apple company. They can use ipad watching TV programs, chatting with our friends on the Internet and so on. Now Ipad has been the best seller in the US from about 3 weeks（例子很有时代气息，但是感觉LZ有点说得不太清楚，个人感觉这个例子典型，但看电视和上网聊天了laptop也能做到，LZ没把它真正unique优势讲出来，这样就不能很好证明前面的观点啦，FYI，题外话，上周六在美国销售，一个星期都没有哦） .


Moreover,as far as I know,people do not always know what they want to buy, especialy sometimes when they want to buy something unfamiliar.At that time, Ads could help they to choose what or which to buy.For instance, my mother wanted to buy a digital camara, but she got confused by viarious of camaras in the store.Finally, She chose a type of Sony's camara just because she had seen the ad of that on TV.) t& g; l$ u3 W) d3 f7 f$ h9 L. G



Last,but not the least,(建议能换一个，哈） I love to watch some well produced advertisments such as ads of Kia. These advertisements always have some celebrites performences with moving stories and tremendous background music. I really appreciated when watching these masterpieces.
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So, I sum, according to the foregoing discussion , it is safe to draw a conclusion that although sometimes people have already known what commodity to buy before they attend shop, advertisements are still necessary.



写得挺不错的，例子都很贴近生活，但是有些地方的表达有些陈旧，比如Last but not the least, it is safe to draw a conclusion, 可以相应换一下，这样模板味道会小点，个人意见

peterandmzUID: 2756308

6# yxb_25
呵呵，你觉得怪是因为你排版问题导致断句不对，一句句子被你断成3，4句读起来当然怪啦
其实我也没啥模板，我之前看了很多人写的文章，开头结尾都总结了很多，这段时间基本用同一个开头跟结尾，用顺了之后再换一个，至于过渡词么，我尽量挑字多的，因为我文章字数不行，老在300个左右徘徊，所以这种细节就尽量码字

peterandmzUID: 2756308

4.10
People's views of marks or grades vary from person to person. Some people who hold the idea that hard working students will be discouraged by low marks point out that marks will not encourage students to learn.However, contrary to these people is my heartfelt agreement  with the statement that students will be stimulated to work harder by scores  of their homeworks or exams.I will try to examine  below the specific reasons according to which I think are the most common viewpoins nowadays.

First of all. Grades or marks are equal. Everyone will get a proper score though hard working , no matter rich or poor, no matter handsome or ugly. The only reason students get a high mark is they work hard and prepare fully. For example,  it is not strange for a former bad student to get a high mark through hard working , and  the tremendous score will surly encourage this pervious bad student to make more effort on his or her learning.

In addition. Even low marks will stimulate students to learn. Students will feel shameful when they get low marks. So they will surly make more effort on study to catch up with the others. As long as they work hard , they will get high marks which will also encourage them to try harder.It is a tremendous cycle, isn't it?

Some people point out that hard working students sometimes may also get a low grades with will discourage their eagerness to learn.However, I am not for that, if hard working students always get low marks, it means there are some problems with their way of learning. Low scores is not only a encouragement but also a warning which will stimulate these students to find a more efficient approach of study.

So, I sum,  according to the foregoing discussions, it is safe to draw a conclusion that,as we all know learning is a boring long term task which need short term encouragements, marks or grades will stimulate students to work hard.

bruce520UID: 2634940

People's views of marks or grades vary from person to person. Some people who hold the idea that hard working students will be discouraged by low marks point out that marks will not encourage students to learn. However, contrary to these people is my heartfelt agreement  with【这里貌似有点乱】 the statement that students will be stimulated to work harder by scores  of their homeworks 【无复数形式】or exams. I will try to examine below the specific reasons according to which I think are the most common viewpoins nowadays.
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1 l* ^) Z, w# t* w6 gFirst of all, Grades or marks are equal. Everyone will get a proper score though hard working, no matter rich or poor, no matter handsome or ugly. The only reason students get a high mark is they work hard and prepare fully. For example, it is not strange for a former bad student to get a high mark through hard working, and the tremendous【遣词不当似乎】 score will surly encourage this pervious bad student to make more effort on his or her learning.
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1 P: B. G% q$ L- |In addition.【这里你是不小心用的句号还是就是要用句号呢，怎么可以这俩词一句话？】 Even low marks will stimulate students to learn. Students will feel shameful when they get low marks. So they will surly make more effort on study to catch up with the others. As long as they work hard , they will get high marks which will also encourage them to try harder. It is a tremendous cycle, isn't it? & e3 b  G  v& f7 N6 _2 h0 J
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Some people point out that hard working students sometimes may also get a low grades with will discourage their eagerness to learn.[这只是一个例子，不能当中心句，除非你这段就没想要中心局] However,
I am not for that, if hard working students always get low marks, it means there are some problems with their way of learning. Low scores is【忘了变数哈】 not only a encouragement but also a warning which will stimulate these students to find a more efficient approach of study.
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So, I sum,  according to the foregoing discussions, it is safe to draw a conclusion that, as we all know learning is a boring long term task which need short term encouragements, marks or grades will stimulate students to work hard.

行文逻辑已成型哈，就是有些小毛病没注意到。