5.6新作~independent writing 望拍砖！

Natalie蝶UID: 2806232

Ever since we were born on the earth, we have been forced to make choices every so often. While some of the choices are so crucial that they may have an live-and-dead impact on our lives. Yet most of these important choices are always so complex that many of us will be tempted to make the wrong one. In this case, many people believe that parents should make the decision for their children. However, there are also many people objecting to this concept for following reasons.
The opponents refute that it is groundless to assume that the choice made by parents would be definitly correct. Just as the famouse saying from the movie Gum Forest presents, life is like a pack of chocolate, you’ll never know what you are going to get. Parents only make choices on the hypothesis that their experience counts to a large scale in predicting the future. However, the cruel truth is that what happened in the past may not realize in the future, that the conditions behind the seemingly identical choices faced by different generations cannot be the same. For the same token, it is groundless to claim that children, because of their age, cannot make the proper choice.
Furthermore, when comes to the criterior of what can be called a correct choice, people hold different ground. Some conceive that if a choice can lead their children to a easier or more successful life, then the choice can be estimated as good or correct. Nevertheless, such opinion deprives the children of their own feeling, their own expectation of life. I had a friend who is keen on drawing. She would like to pursue a career as a cartoonist. Whereas her father thought it would be more stable for a girl to be an officer in government, so he made the decision for her. Painful, she has to spend all her four years in college learning a major which is, as her described, disgusting. In my point of view, she should have the right to decide what life she prefer to live. And only when a person fulfill the dream of his own accord can he be regarded as success.
Finally, it is also harmful for children if they are accustomed to accept the decision from their parents without their own meditation. It is an inevitable process to encounter the failure and grow from the lesson in the aftermath. And no one can take the role for them. Out of these experence can they learn to be scrupulous and responsible when making choices.
All in all, I insist that parents leave the right to their children to create and experience a life with their own brand name not only because it is their inherent right but also because there’s no guarranttee for an absolute correct choice.

missyoucrazyUID: 2745188

Ever since we were born on the earth, we have been forced to make choices every so often. While some of the choices are so crucial that they may have a live-and-dead impact on our lives. Yet most of these important choices are always so complex that many of us will be tempted to make the wrong one. In this case, many people believe that parents should make the decision for their children. However, there are also many people objecting to this concept for following reasons.


The opponents refute that it is groundless to assume that the choice made by parents would be definitely correct. Just as the famous saying from the movie Gum Forest presents, life is like a pack of chocolate, you’ll never know what you are going to get. Parents only make choices on the hypothesis that their experience counts to a large scale in predicting the future. However, the cruel truth is that what happened in the past may not realize in the future, that the conditions behind the seemingly identical choices faced by different generations cannot be the same. For the same token, it is groundless(换个词会好些not sound) to claim that children, because of their age, cannot make the proper choice.!


Furthermore, when comes to the criteria of what can be called a correct choice, people hold different ground. Some conceive that if a choice can lead their children to an easier or more successful life, then the choice can be estimated as good or correct. Nevertheless, such opinion deprives the children of their own feeling, their own expectation of life. I had a friend who is keen on drawing. She would like to pursue a career as a cartoonist. Whereas her father thought it would be more stable for a girl to be an officer in government, so he made the decision for her. Painful, she has to spend all her four years in college learning a major which is, as her described, disgusting. From my point of view, she should have the right to decide what life she prefers to live. And only when a person fulfills the dream of his own accord can he be regarded as success.


Finally, it is also harmful for children if they are accustomed to accept the decision from their parents without their own meditation. It is an inevitable process to encounter the failure and grow from the lesson in the aftermath. And no one can take the role for them. Out of these experiences one can they learn to be scrupulous and responsible when making choices.


All in all, I insist that parents leave the right to their children to create and experience a life with their own brand name not only because it is their inherent right but also because there’s no guarantee for an absolute correct choice.

文章写得很好，楼主的遣词造句都很好。有一些小问题：
1第一段观点不是很明确，应该首先明确自己观点
2第二三段感觉论证不是很清晰，这两段意思有点重复。我觉得合成一个观点就行，父母的选择不一定是对的，然后写上一段“父母不会真正理解到孩子的真正想法”，最后导致父母做决定对孩子是有害的。我觉得这样会好些。
3拼写语法有些小错误，注意下就会好的。
以上仅本人拙见，如有不当请见谅哈。

lycheeeUID: 2447890

Ever since we were born on the earth, we have been forced to make choices every so often. While some of the choices are so crucial that they may have an live-and-dead impact on our lives. Yet most of these important choices are always so complex that many of us will be tempted to make the wrong one. In this case, many people believe that parents should make the decision【用复数比较好】 for their children. However, there are also many people objecting to this concept for following reasons.【这里用进行时感觉不太对……】5 r3 T) v2 H8 C2 m- O& ?4 ^4 F" g# y4 { The opponents refute that it is groundless to assume that the choice made by parents would be definitly correct. Just as the famouse saying from the movie Gum Forest presents, life is like a pack of chocolate, you’ll never know what you are going to get. Parents only make choices on the hypothesis that their experience counts to a large scale[counts to a large scale不顺 直接用experience depends on不是很好么……？介词太多会让人找不到重点的……] in predicting the future. However, the cruel truth is that what happened in the past may not realize in the future, that the conditions behind the seemingly identical choices faced by different generations cannot be the same. For the same token, it is groundless to claim that children, because of their age, cannot make the proper choice.! X& `+ K; R: `& `' m Furthermore, when comes to the criterior of what can be called a correct choice, people hold different ground. Some conceive that if a choice can lead their children to a easier or more successful life, then the choice can be estimated as good or correct. Nevertheless, such opinion deprives the children of their own feeling, their own expectation of life. I had a friend who is keen on drawing. She would like to pursue a career as a cartoonist. Whereas her father thought it would be more stable for a girl to be an officer in government, so he made the decision for her. Painful, she has to spend all her four years in college learning a major which is, as her described, disgusting. In my point of view, she should have the right to decide what life she prefer to live. And only when a person fulfill the dream of his own accord can he be regarded as success. Finally, it is also harmful for children if they are accustomed to accept the decision from their parents without their own meditation. It is an inevitable process to encounter the failure and grow from the lesson in the aftermath. And no one can take the role for them. Out of these experence[experience] can they learn to be scrupulous and responsible when making choices." J$ |$ P. s! J3 T All in all, I insist that parents leave the right to their children to create and experience a life with their own brand name not only because it is their inherent right but also because there’s no guarranttee[guarantee]for an absolute correct choice.

楼主的文章很流畅，用词也不错，就是通篇看下来貌似都是长句子……其实，长短句结合的话会很不错的呀……最后结尾的那1句总结得不是很妥，“不能保证什么是正确的选择”这种东西貌似不是很能说服人……也许换个说法会好点…… 楼主加油……