Sunersun 的作文本

sunersunUID: 2734987

6.15周二
+ k4 U2 ~  g* {, g3d4 R/ i% u8 t. x+ I
老师是否应该表达自己的政治立场：
Teachers should not maketheir social or political view known to students, do you agree or not, explainwhy.（09.03.27）

Isthat right if teachers express their social or political view to theirstudents? Some people think it is okay because teachers have the legislatedright to make others know their viewpoint. However, I consider this to be lessgood than harm to the students.

Admittedly,as citizens, teachers have the inalienable right given by the Constitution toexpress their views freely, no matter social or political. Moreover, byexpressing their own view, teachers can also make their classes more vivid andattractive. For example, an international politics class about hegemonism willbe much more interesting and easier if the professor states out his/her ownopinion of denouncing it instead of reading the text book exactly. Sometimeswhen teachers’ views are positive, students can benefit a lot as well.

Nevertheless,despite the benefit bring about by a teacher when he/she expresses his/her ownsocial or political opinion, there stand some undeniable bad effects. In fact,as a teacher, whether he/she should make their students know their views shoulddepend on the influence that may come along. And for students at differentages, the influence varies, but some detrimental effects cannot be ignored. Forinstance, pupils are the most impressionable group, because their value systemsand characters are being shaped at the fundamental level. This means anyimpropriate influence could cause ineffaceable prints that may affect thechildren’s life. Indeed, if a child heard from his/her teacher about thatcommunism is the most dangerous ideology in the world, then it would be muchmore difficult for him/her to judge those socialist countries objectively.
While to university students, who are mostlyadults and have their own value systems built, teachers who convey their ownsocial or political opinion to them will more likely to incur their aversionespecially when they do not agree with it. What is worse, after being fed upwith the teacher, students will find it hard to feel any interesting in thisteacher’s class, thus, they may do bad on the particular subject.

Furthermore,it is their priority for teachers to provide students with knowledge andmorals, not what they feel about country and society. Teachers should try theirbest to create an environment in which students can thrive freely andhealthily. And when they get older, students can choose the right thing theythink with a right value system. In short, teachers should tell students how tothink critically instead of offering a critical thinking.

FFFMZJBUID: 2479141

1、把你的文章复制到WORD里面，会发现很多红色报错。单词拼写没错，是单词之间没有空格，标点符号是紧跟前面的一个单词，然后空格写下一个单词。觉得这些细节应该多注意一些哦。

2、下次把你的WORD版本发上来哦。我这样复制你的文章会有很多乱码，防复制乱码。

===================================================================================================

1、你的文章很不错，比我的强很多，呵呵，我应该好好和你学习。在我的能力范围内，我改了一版你的作文。

2、作文的语言很朴素，但是文章段落结构、观点的过度都很不错。


Is that right if teachers express their social or political view to their students? Some people think it is okay (觉得这个词比较随便，是不是可以用一个更正式一点的词汇替换一下呢) because teachers have the legislated right to make others know their viewpoint. However, I consider this to be less good than harm to the students.

Admittedly, as citizens, teachers have the inalienable right given by the Constitution to express their views freely, no matter social or political. Moreover, by expressing their own view, teachers can also make their classes more vivid and attractive. For example, an international politics class about hegemonism will be much more interesting and easier if the professor states out his/her own opinion of denouncing it instead of reading the text book exactly. Sometimes when teachers’ views are positive, students can benefit a lot as well. (让步段落)

Nevertheless, despite the benefit bring about by a teacher when he/she expresses his/her own social or political opinion, there stand some undeniable bad effects (there may have some unfavorable effect which they have failed to take into account). In fact, as a teacher, whether he/she should make their students know their views should depend on the influence that may come along. And for students at different ages, the influence varies, but some detrimental effects cannot be ignored (段落主旨句写得很不错). For instance, pupils are the most impressionable group, because their value systems and characters are being shaped at the fundamental level. This means any impropriate influence could cause ineffaceable prints that may affect the children’s life. Indeed, if a child heard from his/her teacher about that communism is the most dangerous ideology in the world, then it would be much more difficult for him/her to judge those socialist countries objectively.

While to university students (When it comes to college students), who are mostly adults and have their own value systems built, teachers who convey their own social or political opinion to them will more likely to incur their aversion especially when they do not agree with it. What is worse, after being fed up with the teacher, students will find it hard to feel (find) any interesting in this teacher’s class, thus, they may do bad (fail) on the particular subject.

Furthermore, it is their priority for teachers to provide students with knowledge and morals, not what they feel about country and society. Teachers should try their best to create an environment in which students can thrive freely and healthily. And when they get older, students can choose the right thing they think with a right value system. (觉得这句好像没有太大的必要) In short, teachers should tell students how to think critically instead of offering a critical thinking.（结尾最后这句话很简单但是很精彩，点明了本文的主旨，赞一个）

junedreamjuneUID: 2700743

Is that right if teachers express their social or political view to their students? Some people think it is okay because teachers have the legislated right to make others know their viewpoint. However, I consider this to be less good than harm to the students.

Admittedly, as citizens, teachers have the inalienable right given by the Constitution to express their views freely, no matter social or political. Moreover, by expressing their own view, teachers can also make their classes more vivid and attractive. For example, an international politics class about hegemonism will be much more interesting and easier if the professor states out his/her own opinion of denouncing it instead of reading the text book exactly. Sometimes when teachers’ views are positive, students can benefit a lot as well. （GOOD!）

Nevertheless, despite the benefit bring about (brought about) by a teacher when he/she expresses his/her own social or political opinion, there stand some undeniable bad effects. In fact, as a teacher, whether he/she should make their students know their views should depend on the influence that may come along (whether teachers should inform students of their views depends on the influence that may come along). And for students at different ages, the influence varies, but some detrimental effects cannot be ignored. （可否在For instance处分段？）For instance, pupils are the most impressionable group, because their value systems and characters are being shaped at the fundamental level. This means any impropriate influence could cause ineffaceable prints that may affect the children’s life. Indeed, if a child heard from his/her teacher that communism is the most dangerous ideology in the world, then it would be much more difficult for him/her to judge those socialist countries objectively.


While to university students, who are mostly adults and have their own value systems built, teachers who convey their own social or political opinion to them will be more likely to incur their aversion especially when they do not agree with it. What is worse, after being fed up with the teacher, students will find it hard to feel any interesting (would feel it hard to find any interest) in this teacher’s class, thus, they may do bad (fail) on the particular subject.
Furthermore, it is their priority for teachers to provide students with knowledge and morals, not what they feel about country and society. Teachers should try their best to create an environment in which students can thrive freely and healthily. And when they get older, students can choose the right thing they think with a right value system (with their own value system). In short, teachers should tell students how to think critically instead of offering a critical thinking.

总的来说我觉得文章写的很不错，句式和用词都很棒；但我感觉稍有欠缺的是文章Structure和Topic sentences, 读的过程中感觉找段落的主旨有些费劲，如果能做到一个段落有一个鲜明的主题(句)，最后一段再一个总结就更好了。
能力有限，希望这些意见有用:)

sunersunUID: 2734987

3# junedreamjune 谢谢，很有用呢

sunersunUID: 2734987

6.17周四
成功重要还是失败时能保持乐观快乐重要：
Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?（09.03.21）

Success and failure is a topic discussed and debated by people in different civilizations for thousands of years. Undeniable, success is very important because it is our ultimate goal to achieve what we look for. However, success is no doubt hard to acquire, so it seems to me more important to remain happy and optimistic even though we fail. Because a happy and optimistic attitude will bring us a better life, as well as the success we pursue.

First and foremost, it is one’s indispensable quality to keep a good and optimistic mood. Psychological researches show us a distinct difference between optimistic and pessimistic people on leading a happy life; those with optimistic nature are easier to be satisfied and therefore, more likely to be happy. Life is not easy, but optimism can bring us happiness. For example, an optimistic is tend to obtain more joys when play some small games like poker than pessimistic, because the latter are inclined to blame themselves for not being clever or lucky even if lose in a small game. In a word, a positive attitude is essential in a happy life.

Secondly, a happy and optimistic attitude toward failure is virtually more significant than acquiring success. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration”. A genius still need so much toil to succeed, not to mention the average people. Additionally, there is another essential element in reaching an achievement, namely opportunity, which is beyond our control. Hence, success is rare and on the contrary, failure is normal. If someone could not maintain a happy and optimistic mood, he/she would more easily be defeated and lose another prerequisite of being successful-self-confidence.

Furthermore, failure with happy and optimistic attitude will not fail forever. As the proverb goes,” failure nurtures success”. For those optimistic people, success is not far because they have held the most powerful strength-confidence. Optimistic people tend to analyze their failure objectively instead of blind self-accusation. Also, they are more resolute and persistent, which means they would not easily surrender to the obstacle between them and their goals. For instance, due to his happy and optimistic character, one of China’s great leaders, Deng Xiaoping, got through many setbacks of his political life and led China to a rich country with the successful policy called “reform and open”. Thus, to a person mentally strong enough, failure is temporary and success will come sooner or later.

nevertlUID: 2714082

在看
有QQ吗
我的945587519

nevertlUID: 2714082

Success and failure is a topic discussed and debated by people in different civilizations for thousands of years. Undeniable, success is very important because it is our ultimate goal to achieve what we look for.(有点绕) However, success is no doubt hard to acquire, so it seems to me more important to remain happy and optimistic even though we fail (no matter what the consequence turn out to be). Because a happy and optimistic attitude will bring us a better life, as well as the success we pursue.
7 f4 c% K7 x) V9 d
First and foremost, it is one’s indispensable quality to keep a good and optimistic mood. (the ability to keep good and optimistic mood is an indispensable quality in daily life) Psychological researches show us a distinct difference between optimistic and pessimistic people on leading a happy life; those with optimistic(positive?重的多了点) nature are easier to be satisfied and therefore(个人觉得这里强调因果早了点), more likely to be happy(successful).(乐观本来就是happy吧) Life is not easy, but optimism can bring us happiness.(觉得有点多余了)For the reason that life is not easy; (貌似run-on…?) only optimistic people own the courage to keep forward. For example, an optimistic is tend to obtain more joys when play some small games like poker than pessimistic, because the latter are inclined to blame themselves (an optimistic是表一类人?语法不好) for not being clever or lucky even if lose in such a(删) small games. In a word, a positive attitude is essential in a happy life and the pursuit of achievement.

Secondly, a happy and optimistic attitude toward failure is virtually more significant than acquiring success. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration”.(觉得这个用的跟你的理由不是很符-意思是成功太累了happy就好了?) A genius still need so much toil to succeed, not to mention the average people. Additionally, there is another essential element in reaching an achievement(消极了点,说的范一点比较好吧), namely opportunity, which is sometimes beyond our control. Hence, success is rare and on the contrary, failure is normal. ( hence? Most people around the world are common and ordinary, while the lack of great success does not deprive their rights and abilities to be happy and hopeful) If someone could not maintain a happy and optimistic mood, he/she would more easily be defeated and lose another prerequisite of being successful-self-confidence. 2 h4 o.

Furthermore, people facing failure with happy and optimistic attitude will not fail forever. As the proverb goes,” failure nurtures success”. For those optimistic people, success is not far because they have held the most powerful strength-confidence. Optimistic people tend to(are able to?) analyze their failure objectively instead of blind self-accusation. Also, they are more resolute and persistent, which means they would not easily surrender to the obstacle between them and their goals.(…这一句和前一句换个位子,用instead连) For instance, due to his happy and optimistic character, one of China’s great leaders, Deng Xiaoping,(名字放前头吧,有点怪) got through many setbacks of his political life and led China to a rich country with the successful policy called “reform and open”. (例子弱了点,没细节)Thus, to a person mentally strong enough, failure is temporary and success will come sooner or later. (个人觉得二三个理由互换一下位子比较好,个人因素到非人为因素)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
word里看的,颜色都混乱了,有些地方可能改了没标出来,不好意思啊
括号一般指前面一句的内容
没看出什么语法错误(本人语法很差),改的地方差不多都是个人读的不太顺的,我没什么水平你随便看看就好
整个的条理好像不是特别清楚(可能是我看的的时候自己不清白...),纯议论的话挺费力气的吧,建议这种话题背几个例子吧.

sunersunUID: 2734987

7# nevertl
谢谢啊，昨晚1点钟才开始写的，很匆忙，也很困，所以自己也感觉不好，谢谢你啊！

sunersunUID: 2734987

6.22周二（09.3.13北美）
无法对他人说好话时应该什么也不说：/ U+ m; g8 h/ _) Y8 k
Sometimes, if you cannot say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all.

It is commonly misunderstood that advice should sound nice. Thus, some people prefer to keep silent when they regard their words to be not flattering. However, as far as I am concerned, saying something true in one’s mind, even if it is not nice, is always more beneficial than keeping quiet, because outsiders can offer ideas from different aspects and therefore very precious.

Admittedly, advice conveyed in nice words is much easier for people to accept. According to the theory of Maslow’s Needs Hierarchy, it is human nature of preferring compliments to critics, because compliments satisfied one’s ego need. In fact, the pattern of praising before criticizing has been applied in many circumstances. For instance, if a teacher wants to ask a student to pay more attention to study instead of only doing good at sports, he/she might start with firstly congratulating the student for what he/she has achieved in sports; then the coming words of blaming him/her for the drop of scores will be much easier to accept. Therefore, giving advice in an acceptable way is undeniable very important.

However, although flattering words are more preferable for people to hear, it is by no means to keep silent if we could not come up with affable sentences. An ancient Chinese adage goes as I paraphrase that critics is to your better behavior what bitter medicine is to the curing of your diseases. Researches have shown that critics are as valuable as compliments for children to develop healthy and integral personalities. Not only children, adults also need critical words to keep them aware of what they are facing with. Imaging that a leader, for example, president of a country, were going to make an unreasonable decision which could lead to a great loss of the country but people around him/her chose to say nothing because they knew what they say would not be nice to the president, then the whole country or even the whole planet would have to suffer from the dangerous misunderstanding of people that only speak something nice. In general, bad words are essential for people to make right decisions.

To summarize, it is totally unacceptable if we only choose something nice to say rather than something right to say. Compliments are welcome but critics are absolutely necessary. Therefore, what we should say depends not on whether it is a compliment or a critic, but on whether it is beneficial to the listener or not.

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

It is commonly misunderstood that advice should sound nice. Thus, some people prefer to keep silent when they regard their words to be not flattering. However, as far as I am concerned, saying something true in one’s mind, even if it is not nice, is always more beneficial than keeping quiet, because outsiders can offer ideas from different aspects and therefore very precious.
. A' @1 N- X. _' Y+ y& V+ J
! i: |2 }* O# g3 D9 o8 ^4 @Admittedly, advice conveyed in nice words is much easier for people to accept. According to the theory of Maslow’s Needs Hierarchy, it is human nature of preferring compliments to critics, because compliments satisfied (satisfy) one’s ego need. In fact, the pattern of praising before criticizing has been applied in many circumstances. For instance, if a teacher wants to ask a student to pay more attention to study instead of only doing good at sports (sports), he/she might start with firstly (start with 就不需要firstly) congratulating the student for what he/she has achieved in sports; then the coming words of blaming him/her for the drop of scores will be much easier to accept. Therefore, giving advice in an acceptable way is undeniable very important (不知道这样对否).. G$ R# Z# N4 ^( B/ A( N. Z

, V* M8 N  Q, W* X  N3 }However, although flattering words are more preferable for people to hear, it is by no means to keep silent if we could not come up with affable sentences. An ancient Chinese adage goes as I paraphrase that critics is to your better behavior what bitter medicine is to the curing of your diseases (不知道对不对这句话). Researches have shown that critics are as valuable as compliments for children to develop healthy and integral personalities. Not only children, adults also need critical words to keep them aware of what they are facing with. Imaging that a leader, for example, president of a country, were going to make an unreasonable decision which could lead to a great loss of the country but people around him/her chose to say nothing because they knew what they say （said） would not be nice to the president, then the whole country or even the whole planet would have to suffer from the dangerous misunderstanding of people that only speak something nice. In general, bad words are essential for people to make right decisions.
9 A1 r4 n6 o8 a( s" Y; j
# @3 P/ R9 k0 Z3 t7 G' d: PTo summarize, it is totally unacceptable if （that） we only choose something nice to say rather than something right to say. Compliments are welcome but critics are absolutely necessary. Therefore, what we should say depends not on whether it is a compliment or a critic, but on whether it is beneficial to the listener or not.

zmselfnatureUID: 2466965

非常感谢你对我作文的修改！
It is commonly misunderstood that advice should sound nice. Thus, some people prefer to keep silent when they regard their words to be not flattering. However, as far as I am concerned, saying something true in one’s mind, even if it is not nice, is always more beneficial than keeping quiet, because outsiders can offer ideas from different aspects and therefore very precious.

Admittedly, advice conveyed in nice words is much easier for people to accept. According to the theory of Maslow’s Needs Hierarchy, it is human nature of preferring compliments to critics, because compliments satisfied one’s ego need. In fact, the pattern of praising before criticizing has been applied in many circumstances. For instance, if a teacher wants to ask a student to pay more attention to study instead of only doing good at sports, he/she might start with firstly congratulating the student for what he/she has achieved in sports; then the coming words of blaming him/her for the drop of scores will be much easier to accept. Therefore, giving advice in an acceptable way is undeniable very important.

However, although flattering words are more preferable for people to hear, it is by no means to keep silent if we could not come up with affable sentences. An ancient Chinese adage goes as I paraphrase that critics is to your better behavior what bitter medicine is to the curing of your diseases. Researches (researchers) have shown that critics are as valuable as compliments for children to develop healthy and integral personalities. Not only children, adults also need critical words to keep them aware of what they are facing with. Imaging that a leader, for example, president of a country, were going to make an unreasonable decision which could lead to a great loss of the country but people around him/her chose to say nothing because they knew what they say would not be nice to the president, (这里可以断句)then the whole country or even the whole planet would have to suffer from the dangerous misunderstanding of people that only speak something nice(此句有些过长). In general, bad words are essential for people to make right decisions.

To summarize, it is totally unacceptable if we only choose something nice to say rather than something right to say. Compliments are welcome but critics are absolutely necessary. Therefore, what we should say depends not on whether it is a compliment or a critic, but on whether it is beneficial to the listener or not.

呵，真是一遍很好的文章，受益匪浅！作者从正反两面阐述观点，条理清晰，词汇运用娴熟。