欢迎拍文修改小组7.24作业 a

迷失的鱼UID: 2850922

TOPIC: ARGUMENT217 - The following appeared in a brochure promoting the purchase of local franchises for a national chain of gyms.

"Now is the time to invest in a Power-Lift Gym franchise so that you can profit from opening one of our gyms in your town. Consider the current trends: Power-Lift Gyms are already popular among customers in 500 locations, and national surveys indicate increasing concern with weight loss and physical fitness. Furthermore, last year's sales of books and magazines on personal health totaled more than $50 million, and purchases of home exercise equipment almost doubled. Investing now in a Power-Lift Gym franchise will guarantee a quick profit."
WORDS: 490
TIME: 00:32:00
DATE: 2010/7/24 17:27:09

In the memo, the author claims that by investing in a Power-Lift Gym franchise to open a gym in their town they will make a quick profit. To support his claim, the author offered several evidences: 1) popularity indicates the high attendants; 2) weight loss and physical fitness a hot topic national wide; 3) books and magazines as well as exercise equipment's great selling last year.
However, those evidence cannot provide a thorough support to author's claim.

First of all, the author unfairly establishes a casual relationship between high popularity in customs and high attendants in gym. Without any supportive information, we cannot confirm that it is also popular among citizens. It is also possible that those who are willing to go to gym are the people who care more about their body shape and it is fair enough that Power-Lift Gym are more popular in this group, and that is why they are there. However, we cannot predict that Power-Lift Gym is still popular among other citizens and may be it is because they are not interest in it that we choose not to attend. In that case, trends depending on the survey are not represents the whole citizens in the cities.

Secondly and similarly, the author falsely assumes that the national survey can reflect the situation in one geographical place, while it is usually not the case. If the citizens in this city concern less about weight loss ad physical fitness than national average level because of their heavy work or inconvenient traffic, the survey nationwide cannot explain the situation here. In addition, even admitting a lust of weight loss and physical fitness among the citizens, the author cannot draw a conclusion that they will make a profit. For example, if citizens like to have a sport or exercise outdoor instead of in the gym, or there is or will be another gym with better equipment and location, it cannot guarantee a quick profit.

Thirdly, the author hastily assumes that sell of relative books, magazines and equipments last year will for sure respond to a quick profit. However, no information offered can support a casual relationship. For example, if the purpose of buying those books and magazines is to follow the advise any do exercise at equipments on their own home or just because its beautiful pictures, the attendants will, if not decrease accordingly, not increase at least. Moreover, the statistics last year cannot predict the situation in the future. Falling to take into consideration these possibilities, the author renders his conclusion groundless.

In sum, the author wants to make a prediction of a quick profit by investing a gym, but he commits several logical mistakes. To better support his claim, he should make a more detailed survey about the local situation of exercise. To further evaluate his claim, he should know why more and more people are willing to buy relative products and predict competition in the future.

alickenUID: 2845947

In the memo, the author claims that by investing in a Power-Lift Gym franchise to open a gym in their town they will make a quick profit. To support his claim, the author offered several evidences: 1) popularity indicates the high attendants; 2) weight loss and physical fitness a hot topic national wide; 3) books and magazines as well as exercise equipment's great selling last year.
However, those evidence cannot provide a thorough support to author's claim.

First of all, the author unfairly establishes a casual relationship between high popularity in customs and high attendants in gym. Without any supportive information, we cannot confirm that it is also popular among citizens(这句说得不清楚,改一下 people who concern with weight loss and physical fitness will go to gym). It is also possible that those who are willing to go to gym are the people who care more about their body shape and it is fair enough that Power-Lift Gym are more popular in this group, and that is why they are there.(PLG在关心自己形体的人中受欢迎又怎么样呢？这些人可能也会买PLG的健身器材) However, we cannot predict that Power-Lift Gym is still(also) popular among other citizens and may be it is because they are not interest in it that we choose not to attend(choose不是情态动词, attend在这什么意思呢？改为: we do not choose to invest PLG). In that case, trends depending on the survey are not represents the whole citizens in the cities.

Secondly and similarly, the author falsely assumes that the national survey can reflect the situation in one geographical place, while it is usually not the case. If the citizens in this city concern less about weight loss ad physical fitness than national average level because of their heavy work or inconvenient traffic, the survey nationwide cannot explain the situation here. In addition, even admitting a lust of(for) weight loss and physical fitness among the citizens, the author cannot draw a conclusion that they will make a profit. For example, if citizens like to have a sport(sports) or exercise outdoor instead of in the gym, or there is or will be another gym with better equipment(s) and location, it(it指代不明) cannot guarantee a quick profit.

Thirdly, the author hastily assumes that sell of relative books, magazines and equipments last year will for sure respond to a quick profit. However, no information offered can support a casual relationship(between them). For example, if the purpose of buying those books and magazines is to follow the advise any do exercise at equipments on(in) their own home or just because its beautiful pictures, the attendants will, if not decrease accordingly, not increase at least(这句没懂). Moreover, the statistics last year cannot predict the situation in the future. Falling to take into consideration these possibilities, the author renders his conclusion groundless.

In sum, the author wants to make a prediction of a quick profit by investing a gym, but he commits(承诺？) several logical mistakes. To better support his claim, he should make a more detailed survey about the local situation of exercise. To further evaluate his claim, he should know why more and more people are willing to buy relative products and predict competition in the future(这句好像文中没提到).