饭套头作文帖

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

第一次贴作业就这么晚很不好意思

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Sports teach people lessons about life


No matter who we are, athletes, exercisersor just audience, we all get involved in sports. By participating in a sport,we can have fun, strong our body and win some glory; by watching games, we canspend our spare time more meaningfully. But just like the statement putsforward, sports teach people lessons about life. I think this is what sportsreally for.

We learn the importance of teamwork fromsports. A team can’t rely on one athlete to win the game. Take the 2010 FIFAWorld Cup for example, there were many teams been reported that players werenot united. Some may argue that these were rumors while in fact teamwork can beseen during competitions. When Portugal versus Brazil, Cristiano Ronaldo had alot of chances to pass his teammate the ball, but he shot by himself even in abad condition. Finally Spain won the World Cup and there was no doubt howunited this team is just by watching the final competition. No matter thewinners or the losers, each player will realize the importance of teamwork, andso does the audience. Life is just like sports, if you don’t know how tocooperate, you get nothing, and instead you would lose friends.

Friendship is another thing that sportsteach us. After Andres Iniesta Lujan scored in the final of 2010 FIFA WorldCup, he took off his jersey to celebrate, while in fact he was trying to memoryhis good friend also a player who died last year. On the white T-shirt herevealed bear the words: Dani Jarque: always with us. Though he received ayellow card for taking off the jersey, it is still one of the most touchingmoment in the World Cup. This is what we call friendship. Moreover, friendshipexists even between competitors. In the fencing competitions of 2008 OlympicGames, when one athlete’s vest solace on the back untied, her competitor helpedher to tie the solace. Though we are competitors, it doesn’t mean we shouldruin our friendship to get to the top. Sports teach us that friendship issomething we should always treasure.

Still, there are many other things thatsports teaches us, like never cheat in games and never cheat in your life; ifyou tried, then nothing to regret. Whether we participate in sports or simplywatch sport games, we learn from sports, because the lessons sports teach areuseful throughout the whole lifetime.






7月24饭套头.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2010-7-25 15:45:11 上传

下载次数: 0

jjooyyUID: 2704028

占座，真不好意思，现在才看到，。

jjooyyUID: 2704028

No matter who we are, athletes, exercisersor（exerciser）or just audiences, we all get involved in sports. By participating in a sport,we can have fun, strong(strengthen) our body and win some glory; by watching games, we can spend our spare time more meaningfully. But just like the statement puts forward, sports teach people lessons about life. I think this is what sports are really for.; {' W, o* f; a

We learn the importance of teamwork from sports. A team can’t rely on one athlete to win the game. Take the 2010 FIFA World Cup for example, there were many teams been reported that players were not united. Some may argue that these were rumors while in fact teamwork can beseen during competitions. When Portugal versus Brazil, Cristiano Ronaldo had a lot of chances to pass his teammate the ball, but he shot by himself even in a bad condition. （这两个例子中间加点什么连词吧，连接不紧密）Finally Spain won the World Cup and there was no doubt how united this team is just by watching the final competition. No matter the winners or the losers（这句话不完整）, each player will realize the importance of teamwork(?), and so does the audience. Life is just like sports, if you don’t know how to cooperate, you get nothing, and instead you would lose friends.

|
Friendship is another thing that sports teach us. After Andres Iniesta Lujan scored in the final of 2010 FIFA WorldCup, he took off his jersey to celebrate, while in fact he was trying to memory his good friend，also a player who died last year. On the white T-shirt he revealed bear（？？） the words: Dani Jarque: always with us. Though he received a yellow card for taking off the jersey, it is still one of the most touching moment in the World Cup. This is what we call friendship. Moreover, friendship exists even between competitors. In the fencing competitions of 2008 Olympic Games, when one athlete’s vest solace on the back untied, her competitor helped her to tie the solace. Though we are competitors,(人称不一致) it doesn’t mean we should ruin our friendship to get to the top. Sports teach us that friendship is something we should always treasure.

Still, there are many other things that sports teaches us, like never cheat in games and never cheat in your life; if you tried, then nothing to regret. Whether we participate in sports or simply watch sport games, we learn from sports, because the lessons sports teach are useful throughout the whole lifetime.

一个很好的点是把最近发生的事说进去了，世界杯，奥运~你写两段会不会太短？
怀疑又是AW写完了，来托福的。
语法上，要注意句子的完整性，不要少成分，也不要连着写句子。
小白和他的衣服的确感动，但你其实可以那段只举一个例子，卡西利亚斯和普约尔，两个人可以既是队友 又是对手（俱乐部）~然后把对手也是朋友的点说一下就可以了。不要堆砌例子嘛。。
P.S.: 你对我的文章的疑问，我已经在我的帖子下面回复了哦。。

againproUID: 2723437

多谢修改我的作文啊，这里一些小小建议，请参考。

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

这篇文章不是半个小时内写出来的，所以字数有点多，这是我的第二篇托福练习文章，所以还没有规定时间
以后我会逐渐掐时间的，提前对即将为我批改的童鞋表示感谢^-^

Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important causeof unhealthy eating habits

What is the cause of unhealthy eating habits of people today? Thestatement puts forward that advertising is the most important cause. However, Ican’t totally agree with the statement.

Admittedly, advertising do play a significant role in people’s lifetoday. Many food companies have their TV commercials indicating people how easylife can become if they eat their products. For example, people today lead ahush life, they have to wake up early and hurry to work. While cook a breakfasttakes so much time that people would rather spend the time in bed. So some foodcompanies introduced new food products that would help people save a lot time,they don’t need to cook anymore. These TV commercials are like a man wakes upin the morning, looking tired, he puts the product in a microwave and then oneminute late, it’s done. The food seems really tasty and the man can’t resist eatingit up. Then he goes out of his apartment looking happy and dynamic. These kindof commercials are trying to tell people that by purchasing their products lifecan be easier. But are these products companies advertised healthy? Most arenot. In order to sell their products companies implant people with the ideathat taking these products represents a healthy eating habits while in fact it’stotally wrong. People today are misled by advertisements, they go far away fromhealthy eating habits. By advertising how magic those vitamin pills are, peopletoday eat fewer fruits but more pills; by advertising how enjoyable it is todrink a bottle of coke, more and more people are suffering from bone loss. Soadvertising is a important cause of people’s unhealthy eating habits.

However, what I can’t agree with the statement is that advertising can’tbe the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, there are many othercauses that are also as important as advertising. Isn’t the modern society aimportant cause to unhealthy eating habits? If people do not have to wake upearly and hurry to work, they can have time for a good sleep and then make adelicious and nutritious breakfast, and during lunch they can have enough timeto go back home and make a good meal. But sadly, the modern society proves nosuch fantasy, time is money, how could one waste it on making meals? The modernlife is just like a coin which has two sides, on one side, life today makes ourlife much easier like those transportation or communication tools, on the otherside the quality of our eating habits declines.

To sum up, advertising is an important cause of unhealthy eating habitsbecause by advertising people’s view toward eating can be misled; but besidesadvertising, there also exists other causes which are as important asadvertising, to name one, the modern society. So I can only agree with thestatement to some degree.

7月27饭套头.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-7-27 22:53:13 上传

下载次数: 6

crystal5841UID: 2710710

6# tautou-fan

文章读下来感觉很舒服。行云流水，用词严谨，疑问句和强调句的适量运用，给人耳目新的感觉。如果要提一点儿缺点的话，那就是在第二段，论述广告是如何导致人们不良饮食习惯不是很充分。感觉只是在段尾用了两个小的例子说明了。（因为我个人觉得早上睡懒觉，然后吃一个便捷的早餐，似乎也不是不良饮食习惯。当然只是个人见解~~~）

jjooyyUID: 2704028

6# tautou-fan

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

文章是边聊QQ边写完的，罪过啊，时间没控制住，还是不知道自己30min里能写多少料。。。

Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the bestways to learn about a foreign country.

Every day newspapers report events thatjust happened in foreign countries; and every month or two, magazines introduceplaces of interests of foreign countries to readers. Thanks to newspapers andmagazines, we learn a lot about foreign countries. However, in my point ofview, newspapers or magazines are not the best ways for us to learn about anyforeign country.

Why we can’t get to know a foreign countrywell by reading what newspapers or magazines say? To newspapers, only news willbe reported, which means that a country cannot get on another country’snewspaper unless there are some events. Most of these events are huge, of greatimportance or seriousness. For example, Japan changes several prime ministers inrecent years, so people from other countries can often see reports about Japan’sunstable politics. Simply by judging these news about Japan, people from othercountries may think Japan is instable, while in fact Japan is a very developedcountry and though the prime ministers change too frequently, the society isvery stable. And sometimes a newspaper will report some gossips about a foreigncountry, and the British Royal family is a frequent visitor to headlines inmany countries. But these are gossips, we can’t judge a foreign country basedon these news.

To magazines, topics about foreigncountries are mostly focused on particular areas, we may get to know on aspectof a foreign country well but not the whole country. For example, travelmagazines often introduce places of interests in different countries. Thesekind of magazines will spend pages to introduce just one place like the TajMahal in Thailand, but ignored Thailand’s security issues. And some othermagazines about economics will spend pages to discuss the unpleasant economicsituation in a foreign country but overlook the potential of that country.

So, neither newspapers nor magazines arethe ideal way to get to know a foreign country. Although newspapers can helppeople keep up with the world’s latest information and magazines can helppeople know aspects of other countries deeply, we cannot just rely on these twoways. Go to a library and borrow books that give brief introduction of anyforeign country one has interests for. These books of introduction can helppeople gain a general image of a country. And then if one still have interests,he or she should surf the internet for more details, he or she should watchsome introduction films about that foreign country on different topics likehistory, culture, economic, politics, education and so on.

If one really wants to learn about aforeign country, he or she should go to that country, live with foreigners, onecannot find the best way to learn about a foreign country unless he or sheintegrate into that culture.



7月31饭套头.doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-7-31 22:07:17 上传

下载次数: 2

zungeUID: 2660136

[1] TajMahal 是泰姬陵吧？在印度。
[2] 举例较多，您是想要在考试前整理一些例子是吧？膜拜一下...我背不下来T_T
[3] 第二段Chinglish略重。
[4] 最后一段提的建议没有经过论证。本题并没有要求给出解决方案吧我觉得...
一起加油

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

10# zunge

呃，妄为我初中还是地理课代表，竟然写成泰国了
我没有整理过例子，用的都是最简单的东西，不要膜拜我
以后改作业哪里不好具体指出来吧，你就告诉我第二段不好，自己写的东西一般看不出来啊，连错别字自己检查自己都不完全的
谢谢修改

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Every day newspapers report events that just happened in foreign countries; and every month or two, magazines introduce places of interests of foreign countries to readers. Thanks to newspapers andmagazines, we learn a lot about foreign countries. However, in my point ofview, newspapers or magazines are not the best ways for us to learn about anyforeign country. 喜欢前面的背景介绍开头~


Why we can’t get to know a foreign countrywell by reading what newspapers or magazines say? To newspapers, only news will be reported, which means that a country cannot get on（？？） another country’s newspaper unless there are some events. Most of these events are huge, of great importance or seriousness.这句话直接可以省略，在前面变成some important events就可以了吧 For example, Japan changes several prime ministers in recent years, so people from other countries can often see reports about Japan’s unstable politics. Simply by judging these news about Japan, people from other countries may think Japan is instable, while in fact Japan is a very developed country and though the prime ministers change too frequently, the society is very stable. And sometimes a newspaper will report some gossips about a foreign country, and the British Royal family is a frequent visitor to headlines in many countries. But these are gossips, we can’t judge a foreign country basedon these news. （发现你这段以and连接的句子有点小多）



To magazines, topics about foreign countries are mostly focused on particular areas, we may get to know on aspect of a foreign country well but not the whole country. For example, travel magazines often introduce places of interests in different countries. These kind of magazines will spend pages to introduce just one place like the TajMahal in Thailand, but ignored Thailand’s security issues. And some other magazines about economics will spend pages to discuss the unpleasant economic situation in a foreign country but overlook the potential of that country.+ o9 Z1 ?; Z. _, K" H3 P, W

* c; y& M" Q  y) J( U* V8 ^2 |
So, neither newspapers nor magazines are the ideal way（单复数！） to get to know a foreign country. Although newspapers can help people keep up with the world’s latest information and magazines can help people know aspects of other countries deeply, we cannot just rely on these two ways. Go to a library and borrow books that give brief introduction of anyforeign country one has interests for. （祈使句，不太好吧。。）These books of introduction can help people gain a general image of a country. And then if one still have interests, he or she should surf the internet for more details, he or she should watch some introduction films about that foreign country on different topics likehistory, culture, economic, politics, education and so on. / V2 H' a( Q/ v! ~7 @5 a

If one really wants to learn about a foreign country, he or she should go to that country, live with foreigners, one cannot find the best way to learn about a foreign country unless he or she integrate（？不懂） into that culture.这段话像是总结上面一段 而不是全文的。。

你的例子很充实 文章整体也没有什么问题~
部分句子总是以and开头，有时可以直接省略 也可以换句式结构~
呃 有些空格没空，似乎你写完没有修改？
可以多在句式形式上面下点功夫，使文章读起来有点味道，比如建议的那段 后面的部分 你有这样的思路 直接写成排比之类的 好看很多

关于我的文章你总是有读不懂的地方⊙﹏⊙b汗 其实 你不理解我传达的思想而已 你猜到的意思都是对的。。
话说我们真是有缘 连续几次都是互改。。。。

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies andTV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made inother countries.

Nowadays, people watch movies and TVprograms to keep up with the latest information and thoughts or to kill time.We can watch those movies and TV programs made in one’s own country or made inother countries. Personally, whether these movies or TV programs areinteresting or not, does not depend on by which country they are made. In otherwords, those home-made movies and TV programs may sometimes less interesting totheir own audience than foreign productions.

Admittedly, we have more access to moviesand TV programs made in our own country. When we turn on the TV after supper,most soap operas are native and most news programs report events that happen inour own country; and when we go to a cinema, most movies are also home-made,some foreign movies are not allowed to be released in some other countries becauseof culture conflictions. What’s more, we can easily understand our own moviesand TV programs because we know the language and the culture, while even withinterpretation, still some foreign countries’ perspectives are hard tounderstand. So to some aspects we do have preference for movies and TV programsmade in our own country.

However, everybody has the curiosity to knownew things, even with these difficulties like fewer accesses and culturedifferences, still lots of people are very interested in movies and TV programsmade in other countries. In the modern world more and more people need to knowabout other countries so they can study abroad or work abroad, because outsideone’s own country, there are millions of opportunities. So people want to knowmore about other countries and watching their movies and TV programs is themost convenient way. We can learn the language and the culture. For example, bywatching Friends, I learn a lot of American slams and get to know better abouthow Americans make friends with each other, it is very interesting.

So as I said, I think it is people’sdifferent interests that made them prefer home-made movies and TV programs orforeign-made. For example, my grandparents like to watch home-made soap operas,they are very conservative and foreign soap operas sometimes are beyond thescope of their acceptance. While on the other side, many of my friends likeforeign movies, some like French movies because they think the movies are veryromantic and some like gunplay films made by Hollywood because they like thefilm stunt.

To sum up, we can’t jump to conclusion thatmovies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting thanthose made in other countries. Different people have different preferences,some like home-made and others think those foreign movies and TV programs aremore interesting.



8月10饭套头.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-8-10 21:02:28 上传

下载次数: 5

kunterUID: 2687844

改好了   楼主写得很不错

xsdgjUID: 2875880

XSDGJ
第一次改别人的文章，如有不当之处，请见谅！

Nowadays, people watch movies and TV programs to keep up with the latest information and thoughts or to kill time. We can watch those movies and TV programs made in one’s own country or made in other countries. Personally, whether these movies or TV programs are interesting or not, does not depend on [url=]by which country they are made[/url][U1] . In other words, those home-made movies and TV programs may sometimes less interesting to their own audience than foreign productions.

[url=]Admittedly, we have more access to movies and TV programs made in our own country. [/url][U2] When we turn on the TV after supper, most soap operas are native and most news programs report events that happen in our own country; and when we go to a cinema, most movies are also home-made, some foreign movies are not allowed to be released in some other countries because of culture conflictions. What’s more, we can easily understand our own movies and TV programs because we know the language and the culture, while even with interpretation, still some foreign countries’ perspectives are hard to understand. So to some aspects we do have preference for movies and TV programs made in our own country.

However, everybody has the curiosity to know new things, even with these difficulties like fewer accesses and culture differences, still lots of people are very interested in movies and TV programs made in other countries. In the modern world more and more people need to know about other countries [url=]so they can study abroad or work abroad, because outside one’s own country, there are millions of opportunities. [/url][U3] So people want to know more about other countries and watching their movies and TV programs is the most convenient way. We can learn the language and the culture. For example, by watching Friends, I learn a lot of American slams and get to know better about how Americans make friends with each other, it is very interesting.

So as I said, I think it is people’s different interests that made them prefer home-made movies and TV programs or foreign-made. For example, my grandparents like to watch home-made soap operas, they are very conservative and foreign soap operas sometimes are beyond the scope of their acceptance. While on the other side, many of my friends like foreign movies, some like French movies because they think the movies are very romantic and some like gunplay films made by Hollywood because they like the film stunt.

To sum up, we can’t jump to conclusion that movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. Different people have different preferences, some like home-made and others think those foreign movies and TV programs are more interesting.

文笔很好。我看得很舒服。唯一感觉不好的是，到了最后才知道你的观点。

[U1]Why not use “which country they are made in”



[U2]这句话和后面几句好像跑题了。这段应该重心在culture差别上。



[U3] 这句话能不能换个内容，跟电视电影有趣不有趣，没有太大的相关。