帮我拍拍--ISSUE 50

xiaohuimi291UID: 2760978

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 488
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-8-3 11:32:17

Whether professionals in university should work outside the academic world is highly controversal issue in contemporary society. Some people hold the view that professionals should obtain the empirical experiences for students' knowledge to the real world while others believe that professionals working outside would focus more attention on the profits and thus students would learn less. In my perspective, however, the advocation is plausble while some principles should be given enough attention at the same time.
Partipation in the empirical works would bring professionals more accurate information that which technologies and knowledges students should obtain to be adapt to the fierce employment world. If a mechanicalengineering profession could make a cooperation project with the Caterpillar Company, they could not only acquire the cutting-edged information in their profession but also bring more opportunities for their students to have an precious intership in the most famous company in the world, which definitely would have a positive effect in their later carrer life. The same as in the clinical medicine area. If a professional is not inclined to have an experience in clinical work, he/she would isolate the empirical diseases which could result from a synthisis of damage in the body and make his/her students only know the cause and treatment of a disease not a patient. In this case, the students who would become a doctor are actually brilliant in academic world but dangerous to the real patients. Therefore, a work outside the academic world is significant for a professional.
However, we should prevent the trends that graduate students would become the migrant workers and cheap labors for the professionals. TIME once reported that graduate students today have worked over 12 hours in average except the holiday for their professionals whom also be called bosses by their students. It is common to see that professionals treat their students as workers from the phenonmena that students should do all the work from manupulating the experiment as their professionals ordered to the cleaning work of laboratory and outside. In this study mode, the students should put too much labor to ordinary things, other than their own professions, and thus violate the purpose of education. Thus, we should inhibit the trends which make professional complained and students fear.
Another major concern is that education would become profit oriented if professionals devote excesive effort and energy into the business world. Common sense tells us that the purpose of education is to achieve academic knowledges and practical techniques. Too much focuses on the business world decrease professionals' and students' attention to the pure acdemic knowledges and deeply thought to the incomprehensibe problems. This phenonmena would determine the acdemic condition in campus and result in the weak characteristics among the students which means a serious disaster for the science field.
In conclusion, I agree with the advocation that professional should work outside their academic world without too much focus on the financial benefits it would bring.

yanhan8862UID: 2852159

我也是个菜鸟，但是我认为不对的地方，就直言了，也可以大家互相讨论。
1.字数太少，就算是你严格限时写的，还是太少了，争取上530-550吧！
2.你的第二个论点有点偏离了文章的主题，你说我们要防止研究生变成教授的奴隶，然后展开讨论，这和这篇文章的主题是没关系的。这是另外一个层面的事情了。
3.第三个论点你没给例子，我猜是时间原因吗？给个小例子的话也许会好不少，字数也就上来了。
4.最后结尾你完全可以再多说点啊，也是时间原因吗？
5.最后看完了以后，觉得这篇文章词汇水平中等，句式比词汇稍好一些。

赞赏的地方：
1.废话不多，意思明确。
2.你第一个例子想的很好。
3.在句式语言方面有一定水平。