sophia作文本

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

8月31日交* z( u9 q! V" x5 |
09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
Study is the process for a child to discover the world and become mature. From the renaissance to the modern sociality parents always want their children to acquire as much knowledge as possible. And even now to study art and music or not to study is still a question. Some people think that art and music have some benefit for children, however some people acquire a picture of view on the other side, in their point of view study art and music is only a waste of time. In my opinion, younger school children should be required to study art and music. There are three supporting points for that: art and music can provide children a sense of creation; children with well education of art and music are smarter than normal children; children who good at art and music always own a positive attitude of the life and always lead a longer life than others after they grow up.
Firstly, art and music is the source of creation especially for children. A large amount designer and actor are bring up by their mother who is a teacher of art and music. And they insist that the education of art and music they acquire from their family member are benefit for their career. For example, the most celebrated actress of china—Ziyi Zhang who is well-known for her excellent film <lying tiger hidden jargon>. Ziyi Zhang’s mother one of the most successful singer in china and she gave Ziyi the lesson of music when she is young. And Ziyi can always remember the songs when she is play a role of a film. What is more Ziyi’s mother always let her to visit the art galery to stimulate her sense of creation and beauty which is benefit for her to wear the right suit to attend the party of film.
Furthermore, children with well education of art and music are smarter than normal children. According to the report of MIT, children, at the age of seven, who is good at music and art have a stronger ability of reading, writing and calculating. For instance, as all Chinese know, the gigantic of science --Xuesen Qian is also an expert of music. His mother is well-know piano player of china, and he is keen on listening the opera with his wife, who is a professor of Chinese music school, in his spear time. From that we can see processor Qian must had an excellent art and music education in addition to math and science when he is young, and art and music are benefit for the intelligence of children.
Lastly, but not at least, art and music can provide children an outstanding mood which can let them life longer and happier. According to a study of Harvard when children are trying to do some painting in the art class, they may not success at first but they will not give up until they finish a successful painting. In this process the ability of insistence increased. For example my great-grandma is a painter and she is keen on Chinese traditional painting and she practice to draw 2 paintings of water lily every morning. Which is more unbelievable, she kept this habit for 83years since her childhood. She is a classical great-grandma and always happy because of the painting, every time I meet her I can even forget that she is already 93 years old!
In summary, the education of art and music should be a fundamental lesson for younger children, consequently, in the predictable future the children can be the more intelligent, more creative; more successful citizen of the world than ever before.

124245581UID: 2764151

改好了··写的挺好的··向你学习

fair_ladyUID: 2836473

不好意思，前两天有事耽误了进程，这就把欠下的任务补上~

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

during doing sports we can learn how to do the team work. During the world cup in 2010 we can see that the football team of Germen performed extraordinarily excellent. Although there are little famous star in this team they defeated many teams. Form showing this I want to say the force of team can be unbelievable and the sports can always create the legend. For our ordinary people sports can give us chance to experience the spirit of cooperate and made our own legend.

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

9月18日交

08.12.05NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life
Sports is one of the basic ability for people to survive, in the modern society, because of the busy and stressful life, some people gave up the time for sports to finish more work, but some people acquired another picture of view on the other side, they considered that they can always learn something from sports. to learn lessons from sports or not to be learn lessons from sports that is a question. In my personal point of view I strongly agree the statement that sports teach people lessons about life. There are three reasons for that: sports can teach people how to insist; sports can teach people how to enjoy; sports can teach people how to cooperate.
Firstly, it is no drought that when doing sports people can learn one of the utmost necessary lesson for their entire life—insisting. According to the normal experience when doing sports we may felt tired or bored at that time people can practice the ability to insist on something even it is difficult. The governor of California Arnold Schwarzrnegger has ever been a poor boy, but he has a great dream that when he grown up he want to be the president of American. After that he made a plan about being a film star at first, than marry to a wealthy girl to gain the support of a consortium in the election. In the process of practice boxing he treated his ability to concentrate and always insist on his dream, no matter how the others talking about him, no matter how painful the life was, no matter how hard it is. One of the famous saying of him is: “life can never be a straight line the shortest road to the success can always be curve line” that is right what the sports taught about life.
Further more, Sports can teach us how to enjoy. It is an old saying that: one can not be an expert on sport can not be an expert on work. Enjoy is a mood that is necessary for life. During doing sports we can forgot all the unhappiness and stress of life. One example of myself, at the first period of preparing TOEFL, I always stay up late and felt tired and bored. But I realized I can not finish my work well during the midnight. I changed my method I spent an hour a day in badminton—one of my favorite sport that can bring me confidence. After that I felt comfortable all day, and finish my homework efficient I never had to stay up late.
Last but not lest, during doing sports we can learn how to do the team work. During the world cup in 2010 we can see that the football team of Germen performed extraordinarily excellent. Although there are little famous star in this team they defeated many teams. Form showing this I want to say the force of team can be unbelievable and the sports can always create the legend. For our ordinary people sports can give us chance to experience the spirit of cooperate and made our own legend.
As a conclusion, there are many lessons we can learn form sports. Needless to say at the predictable further we can benefit a lot from sports. So do to believe that sports can teach people lessons about life or not to believe sports can teach people lessons about life, as far as I am concerned.

norraUID: 2782571

9月18日交

08.12.05NA: j8 Z5 @  Q% q- l5 X) Q# n  }' B
. ~, y# [* u( }! P" }0 F8 ]1 p' V. P
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life2 D/ U' @% ^' n
   
Sports is one of the basic ability for people to survive, in the modern society, （这里想说的是逻辑有点不通，可改为：Sports can assure your to be healthy and body strong .Being healthy and  physic strong  is  one of the basic ability for people to survive,） in the modern society.   because of the busy and stressful life, some people gave up the time for sports to finish more workj加s, but some people acquired another picture of view on the other side, they considered that they can always learn something from sports. to learn lessons from sports or not to be learn lessons from sports that is a question.（这句话太饶舌） In my personal point of view I strongly agree the statement that sports teach people lessons about life. There are three reasons for that: sports can teach people how to insist; sports can teach people how to enjoy; sports can teach people how to cooperate.# M9 K3 U+ U- N" W! _& I0 O
    Firstly, it is no drought that when doing sports people can learn one of the utmost necessary lesson for their entire life—insisting. According to the normal experience when doing sports we may felt tired or bored at that time people can practice the ability to insist on something even it is difficult. The governor of California Arnold Schwarzrnegger has ever been a poor boy, but he has a great dream that when he grown up he want to be the president of American. After that he made a plan about being a film star at first, than marry to a wealthy girl to gain the support of a consortium in the election. In the process of practice boxing he treated his ability to concentrate and always insist on his dream, no matter how the others talking about him, no matter how painful the life was, no matter how hard it is. One of the famous saying of him is: “life can never be a straight line the shortest road to the success can always be curve line” that is right what the sports taught about life.（例子举得挺好的，但稍微有拖沓的嫌疑）
Further more, Sports can teach us how to enjoy. It is an old saying that: one can not be an expert on sport can not be an expert on work. Enjoy is a mood that is necessary for life. During doing sports we can forgot all the unhappiness and stress of life. One example of myself, at the first period of preparing TOEFL, I always stay up late and felt tired and bored. But I realized I can not finish my work well during the midnight. I changed my method I spent an hour a day in badminton—one of my favorite sport that can bring me confidence. After that I felt comfortable all day, and finish my homework efficient I never had to stay up late.（前一段用名人例子，这一段用自身经验的例子，挺好的）
Last but not lest, during doing sports we can learn how to do the team work.（何不改为：From taking part in sports we can learn how to do the team work） During the world cup in 2010 we can see that the football team of Germen performed extraordinarily excellent. Although there are little famous star(barely famous stars) in this team they defeated many teams. Form showing this I want to say  (可改为According to this I tend to mention)the force of team can be unbelievable and the sports can always create the legend. For our ordinary people sports can give us chance to experience the spirit of cooperate and made our own legend.$ I# ^( R  q$ \
     As a conclusion, there are many lessons we can learn form sports. Needless to say at the predictable further we can benefit a lot from sports. So do to believe that sports can teach people lessons about life or not to believe sports can teach people lessons about life, as far as I am concerned.(最后是想把话挽回来，不说得那么绝对，但是有点重复)
个人觉得这篇文章很六级。

wttyuseUID: 2755832

9-18批改

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

9月23日交
09.04.03NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.
Salaries for teachers are somehow the motivation for them to work harder and also a reward for the knowledge that they provided to their students. In ancient china, teacher is the most respected job and students’ families should half of the crops they gained thought the year to the teacher as a rewarding. Consequently I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase the teachers’ salaries although some people acquire another picture of view on the other side. There are three reasons for increasing the salaries of teachers is worthable: teachers’ celebrations do worth the high salaries; high salaries can be a motivation for teachers to work harder；the teachers require the financial aid to further their study.
Firstly, the teacher is one of the most tired jobs that may even occupy the spare times of their private. The high prize can be a compensation for them. For example, one of my English teachers Jason must get up at 5 a.m. every morning in order to give us early lessons at 7:30. As we know that his apartment is on the eastern part of our city while our school is on the western part of our city, he never think about giving up and even seldom be late. And after he knew I had some problem with oral English and even not dear to make my voice be heard by others, Jason advise me to go to his office every afternoon after to talk to him about my study problem and what I had read from the < New York Times>. That really helped me a lot but for that he sacrificed him spare time for students. Two months ago while I was facing the problem of TOEFL writing, he let me email my independent articles to him and I can always received his valuable advises two or threes days later. For that he has to spend 4 hours per day to read the articles from his students. He never asks us for extra fee, but we know his help for us even cannot be estimated.
Moreover, after increasing the salaries the teachers can acquire a sence of achievement so that it can be a motivation for them. For instance, the educational quality of public school in the USA seldom better than the quality of the private school (especially the schools in the rich district) because the different financial situation. That is also the reason why the parents prefer the private school rather than the public one. The parents willing to pay higher fee as guarantee of the education quality. So that needless to say the higher salary really let the teacher to concentrate on their career.
last but not least, the teacher need more money to further their study so that they can acquire a higher ablity to educate their students. according to an reach of MIT, we know that the knowledge that the teacher acquired from the university will become less utilized after 5 years they graduated. The modern society changed ra[idly, for teachers they will face more challenges than before.Furhter study may become necessry for teachers.One example of that would be the famous teacher of  Helen Keller, she had been study the education of normal children but after that she realized that there are thousands of disability children still need the teachers help to acquire knowledge. So that she back to university again to study how to teach the children who physcally challenge mentaly strong. Helen was one of her famous students and the success of Helen make the world know the value of a smart teacher.
As a conclusion, the higher fee can increase the quality of education. I can assum that if the value of the teacher can be taken seriously, the quality of education can increase to a high level in the pridictable furture.

sophia623dupontUID: 2877072

9月25日交
09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Advertising is a way that can make a kind of product well by thousands of families in a minute. Some people believed that advertising can cause the unhealthy eating habits, however some people acquire another picture of view on the other side. To agree that advertising change the habits or not to believe that is a question. I my personal point of view, I agree that the advertising is one of the necessary elements that cause the unhealthy eating habits. There are three reasons for that: the advertising of fat foods can create a force for people to purchase them; the advertising in the television can let people spend more time on watching TV; advertising always force people to buy more goods.
Firstly, the advertising of foods is always about the delicious high heat food. The reason for that may be the media did not considered about the balance of the diet of their audiences instead they thought about making benefits. We can only heard about pop corn in the advertising instead of corn because the company of pop corn make more profits that they can afford the high fee of advertising. One example of this will be the McDonald’s profit increase about 12% every season even in the period of economic depression. The advertising of the fast food create an impulsive for us to have a quick lunch at McDonald. However the rate of over-weight adult in American increased about 20% since the McDonald occur in the sight of ordinary people. The advertising of fast food not only changed the speed of people’s eating habits but also changed the habit of eating fruits and vegetable.20 years ago the ratio of meat in the sum foods of Americans is 35.7% but now it become 63.5%!
Moreover, the advertising in the television became as well-organized as the TV show, so that the people willing to spend more time on it. While watching TV, most of audiences prefer to have snacks which can cause a lot of healthy problems. For example, a little girl in the California weight over 90 kg while she was only 6 years old. Everybody guess that the poor girl may have some problems with her endocrine system. But after the doctor from New York knew her situation, he made a conclusion about the bad habits of the girl’s family that let her to stay at the television 12 hours a day and bought her whatever she want according to the advertising in the TV. So that Susan just eats and eats, grow and grow.
Last but not least, advertising can cause the purchase without ration. My parents always complain, 30 years ago when there were no refrigerators in their life but they were fitted well by the right quantity of foods. But now we again, again and again purchase too much things than we want every weekend. I noticed that every times my mother go in a supermarket, the shop assistants will pass her a piece of paper of the advertising. These advertising makes her considers that these goods are worth to buy. So that needless to say, we must try our best to digest the edible products before next time she goes to the supermarkets even though our stomachs are over loaded!
As a conclusion, I assume that in some way the advertising can lead us to unhealthy eating habits. Even more negative effects of advertising will occur in the predictable future. So do to believe advertising can cause had eating habits or not to believe, as far as I am concerned.

pku_shuigeUID: 2325405

改好了~

norraUID: 2782571

9月23日交:

   09.04.03NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.

      Salaries for teachers are somehow the motivation for them to work harder and also a reward for the knowledge that they provided to their students. （开门见山，提到salary的作用，为下面做铺垫，挺好的）In ancient china, teacher is the most respected job and students’ families should half of the crops they gained thought the year to the teacher as a rewarding. （这个其实扯远了）Consequently I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase the teachers’ salaries although some people acquire another picture of view on the other side. There are three reasons for increasing the salaries of teachers is worthable: teachers’ celebrations do worth the high salaries; high salaries can be a motivation for teachers to work harder；the teachers require the financial aid to further their study.
  
       Firstly, the teacher is one of the most tired jobs that may even occupy the spare times of their private. The high prize can be a compensation for them. For example, one of my English teachers Jason must get up at 5 a.m. every morning in order to give us early lessons at 7:30. As we know that his apartment is on the eastern part of our city while our school is on the western part of our city, he never think about giving up and even seldom be late. And after he knew I had some problem with oral English and even not dear to make my voice be heard by others, Jason advise me to go to his office every afternoon after to talk to him about my study problem and what I had read from the < New York Times>. That really helped me a lot but for that he sacrificed him spare time for students. Two months ago while I was facing the problem of TOEFL writing, he let me email my independent articles to him and I can always received his valuable advises two or threes days later. For that he has to spend 4 hours per day to read the articles from his students. He never asks us for extra fee, but we know his help for us even cannot be estimated.(这样的案例举出来很真实啊）

      Moreover, after increasing the salaries the teachers can acquire a sence of achievement so that it can be a motivation for them. For instance, the educational quality of public school in the USA seldom better than the quality of the private school (especially the schools in the rich district) because the different financial situation. That is also the reason why the parents prefer the private school rather than the public one. The parents willing to pay higher fee as guarantee of the education quality. So that needless to say the higher salary really let the teacher to concentrate on their career.
     
     last but not least, the teacher need more money to further their study so that they can acquire a higher ablity to educate their students. （这个论点挺好的）according to an reach of MIT, we know that the knowledge that the teacher acquired from the university will become less utilized after 5 years they graduated. The modern society changed ra[idly, for teachers they will face more challenges than before.Furhter study may become necessry for teachers.One example of that would be the famous teacher of  Helen Keller, she had been study the education of normal children but after that she realized that there are thousands of disability children still need the teachers help to acquire knowledge. So that she back to university again to study how to teach the children who physcally challenge mentaly strong. Helen was one of her famous students and the success of Helen make the world know the value of a smart teacher.
           
      As a conclusion, the higher fee can increase the quality of education. I can assum （assume)that if the value of the teacher can be taken seriously, the quality of education can increase to a high level in the pridictable furture.

  很经典的五段式啊，看来是上过相关的课程吧……结构很好了，就是可能句法和词汇还需要慢慢积累。

jcf2008UID: 2681015

Advertising is a way that can make a kind of product well by thousands of families in a minute. Some people believed that advertising can cause the unhealthy eating habits, however some people acquire another picture of view on the other side. To agree that advertising change the habits or not to believe that is a question. I my personal point of view, I agree that the advertising is one of the necessary elements that cause the unhealthy eating habits. There are three reasons for that: ( the advertising of fat foods can create a force for people to purchase them; the advertising in the television can let people spend more time on watching TV; advertising always force people to buy more goods.)感觉有些多余，字数太多了……

Firstly, the advertising of foods is always about the delicious high heat food. The reason for that may be the media did not considered about the balance of the diet of their audiences instead they thought about making benefits. We can only heard about pop corn in the advertising instead of corn because the company of pop corn make more profits that they can afford the high fee of advertising. One example of this will be the McDonald’s profit increase about 12% every season even in the period of economic depression(例子很新很好~). The advertising of the fast food create an impulsive for us to have a quick lunch at McDonald. However the rate of over-weight adult in American increased about 20% since the McDonald occur in the sight of ordinary people. The advertising of fast food not only changed the speed of people’s eating habits but also changed the habit of eating fruits and vegetable.20 years ago the ratio of meat in the sum foods of Americans is 35.7% but now it become 63.5%!（例子一个就够了，不然怕写作时间不够吧~）

Moreover, the advertising in the television became as well-organized as the TV show, so that the people willing to spend more time on it. While watching TV, most of audiences prefer to have snacks which can cause a lot of healthy problems. For example, a little girl，named Susan,
in the California weight over 90 kg while she was only 6 years old. Everybody guess that the poor girl may have some problems with her endocrine system. But after the doctor from New York knew her situation, he made a conclusion about the bad habits of the girl’s family that let her to stay at the television 12 hours a day and bought her whatever she want according to the advertising in the TV. So that Susan just eats and eats, grow and grow.

Last but not least, advertising can cause the purchase without ration. My parents always complain, 30 years ago when there were no refrigerators in their life but they were fitted well by the right quantity of foods. But now we again, again and again purchase too much things than we want every weekend. I noticed that every times my mother go in a supermarket, the shop assistants will pass her a piece of paper of the advertising. These advertising makes her considers that these goods are worth to buy. So that needless to say, we must try our best to digest the edible products before next time she goes to the supermarkets even though our stomachs are over loaded!

As a conclusion, I assume that in some way the advertising can lead us to unhealthy eating habits. Even more negative effects of advertising will occur in the predictable future. So do to believe advertising can cause had eating habits or not to believe, as far as I am concerned.
LZ用词，造句，文章结构和例子都很好，很优秀。有些词和短语感觉挺地道的~
但是在单复数等小问题上貌似有些瑕疵~ 还有关于例子，我认为每个观点一个就够了，太多了怕到时考试写不完收不了笔。每段完最后还是总结下比较好~（我是八股文爱好者~）希望LZ蒸蒸日上啊~ 大家一同进步吧~