Sophie's writting 0907

sophie-zyUID: 2894667

2009.8.7 NA  是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.
Some sociologists believe we are now moving into a new and very different type of society.One of the remarkable changes is that the disappearance of old certainties.As a result of it,we are living in the era that is full of various choices.Actually we are not sure about the different choices will improve our life,instead,it will bring us a lot of problems.Facing the difficulties of making right and proper decisions, whether we should let parents help us determin the future or allow the children to make their own choices.As far as I am concerned,I tend to choose the later.
To begin with,parents are usually eager to pass on their value to their children and then do an improper decision.Different generations need different ways of thinking.When children are young,they may believe that their parents are always right and depend on their decions.However,when they get older,they realize there are other views.Sometimes parents,especially older ones,can’t keep up with rapid social or technology changes.If they stick to their belief,the wonderful job,the fantastic workplace,and force their children follow their decision,it may lead to a gift in IT be a teacher, a talent sociologist be a salasman.Thus kids have to find their own ways to what they want to do.
What’s more,it’s a fortune for children to make decision on their own.We can understand that parents are too close to their children emotionally,then they can only see their children through the eyes of a protector.They are worried about the decision made by their children would let them suffer unimaginable pains.We have to admit that there are numerous chances that children do the wrong decision. While I still believe that it worth children to undergo the result of their mistakes and the complex difficulites.Just like the popular saying goes:“ Failure is the mother of success”.It’s better for young to experience the failures and learn from it!
From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that living in the changing world,it’s good for children to make their own choices and learn to shoulder the responsibilities of their own,although the parents can tell their rich experience and give advice.

xiaotuffUID: 2685811

我主要改了一些词汇以及前后逻辑，文章大体思路可以，只是感觉稍微缺乏具体事例。对于我提的意见和所做的修改有则改之，无则加勉吧.有空也帮我改改~~~
Parents help determined the future of their children or children allow them to make their own choices.
Some sociologists believe we are now moving into a new and very different type of society. One of the remarkable changes is that the disappearance of old certainties. (前后句有什么联系吗？) As a result of it, we are living in the era that is full of various choices. Actually we are not sure that if the different choices will improve our life or it will bring us a lot of problems. Facing the difficulties of making (right and proper可删去其一，有点累赘 )decisions, whether we should let parents help us determine the future or allow the children to make their own choices. As far as I am concerned, I tend to choose the later.

To begin with, parents are usually eager to （个人认为impart比较好，用于表达抽象事物的传递） their value to their children and then do an improper decision. While different generations have different ways of thinking. When children are young, they may believe that their parents are always right and depend on their decisions. However, when they get older, they realize there are other views. Sometimes parents, especially older ones, can’t keep up with rapid social or technological changes. If they stick to their belief, (the wonderful job, the fantastic workplace这两个是belief吗？只是两个名词), and force their children follow their decision, it may lead to a gift in IT be a teacher, a talent sociologist be a salesman. （个人认为因果关系不是很明确，可以增加几句说因为每个孩子的天性优势得不到充分发展）Thus kids have to find their own ways to what they want to do.2 V3 B$ S1 n% @, p1 _' W# ]
What’s more, it’s a large fortune for children to make decision on their own. We can understand that parents are too close to their children emotionally, (加and，then不是连词是副词) then they can only see their children through the eyes of a protector. They are worried about the decision made by their children would let them suffer unimaginable pains. We have to admit that there are numerous chances that children do the wrong decision. While I still believe that it is worthwhile for children to undergo the result of their mistakes and the complex difficulties. Just like the popular saying goes,(英语里引用不用冒号上引号) “ Failure is the mother of success”. It’s better for young to experience the failures and learn from it!
From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that living in the changing world, it’s good for children to make their own choices and learn to shoulder the responsibilities of their own, although the parents can tell their rich experience and give advice.

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

Some sociologists believe we are now moving into a new and very different type of society.One of the remarkable changes is that the disappearance of old certainties.As a result of it(删去),we are living in the era that is full of various choices.Actually we are not sure about the different choices (which) will improve our life,instead,it will (and which will) bring us a lot of problems.Facing the difficulties of making right and proper decisions, whether we should let parents help us determin the future or allow the children to make their own choices（这句应该是问句吧，要是问句的话你的语序就有问题了。）.As far as I am concerned,I tend to choose the later( latter).* T% j# i! m! |0 i! D! a
To begin with,parents are usually eager to pass on their value to their children and then do an improper decision.Different generations need different ways of thinking.When children are young,they may believe that their parents are always right and depend on their decions（decisions）.However,when they get older,they realize there are other views.Sometimes parents,especially older ones,can’t keep up with rapid social or technology changes.If they stick to their belief,the wonderful job,the fantastic workplace,and force their children follow their decision,it may lead to a gift(用genius更好) in IT (加field) be a teacher, a talent sociologist be a salasman.Thus kids have to find their own ways to what they want to do.3 x8 O% r+ T! n( E2 K2 X
What’s more,it’s a fortune for children to make decision on their own.We can understand that parents are too close to their children emotionally,then they can only see their children through the eyes of a protector.They are worried about the decision made by their children (which) would let them suffer unimaginable pains.We have to admit that there are numerous chances that children do the wrong decision. While I still believe that it worth children to undergo the result of their mistakes and the complex difficulites.Just like the popular saying goes:“ Failure is the mother of success”.It’s better for young to experience the failures and learn from it!+ @% ~7 z( z& }* D$ d1 I- B+ Z7 \5 {
From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that living in the changing world,it’s good for children to make their own choices and learn to shoulder the responsibilities of their own,although the parents can tell their rich experience and give advice.