jiroushiren 9.16 作业

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

jiroushiren 9.16 作业

caorenboUID: 2548468

jiroushiren 9.16 作业
jiroushiren 发表于 2010-9-16 22:23

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

Currently, some think of Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished. But others hold the negative attitude. In my opinion I agree with the former. My agreements are listed in the follow.
Firstly, the point of good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished is recognized by majority of people. A right standard of morality should be propagated in the society and as a(an) ethic line(touchstone) to judge the behavior of people. Before people to do something they do not know clearly (it) right or wrong, then the same scene in the movies will appear in their mind and (act) as a guide help(helping) people take the right action.
Secondly, all ranges of people are the audiences, from children to old people. The maker(s) of movies and television programs should take the consideration about(of) the influence on the children. Sometimes children are lack of judgment, but their copy(imitation) abilities are strong. When they see the bad people are being rewarded after doing some bad things ,then children will accept the point of doing bad thing will be rewarded. So as the children grow up, the wrong sense(conception/notion) of ethic would control their brain(deeply root in their brain) and they might do some bad things.
What is more, in business, the movies show bad people are being rewarded and good people are being punished would satisfy the different mental needs of modern people who have to face a lot pressure around them in the routine(推荐一个词：chore，我不知道怎么修改了。这个我也是刚学的。). This kind of movies can satisfy(gratify) the special mental(psychic) need and be a good way to relax for the high pressure group. Maybe this kind of movies will be a success business sample and bring(produce) a huge profit.
In a word, we might put the attitude of good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished in the first place. But ensure the diversity of movies and television programs, we need to take both of them. Maybe as the counterexample, it will help people to know the right behavior.(全文都是支持一个观点的，如果结尾再提另外一面，感觉怪怪的。)
整体感觉挺好的，观点明确，有细节支持。但是在表达上应该可以更好的，更地道的。建议可以看看 Answers to all TOEFL essay Question. 里面很多句子可以值得借鉴。此外，个人水平有限，修改的部分也不敢说全在理，望楼主批判了。希望共同进步。

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

谢谢你的批改 2# caorenbo

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

1# jiroushiren
修改迟了些，不过具体原因已经用短消息发给你啦，加油吧