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[未归类] 雪Q的作文帖,欢迎来给出您宝贵的意见哦~~~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-10-5 15:08:54 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
You know, the advertising become more and more showing on the TV, internet , newspaper and so on. And it is inevitable that the advertising exist our daily life every where. Some people belive that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. However, in my view, I support that advertising is not the most inportant cause of unhealthy eating habits.


For one hand, we develop our unhealthy behaviour by ourselves rather than by the advertising. In the first place, more and more people became machanic nowadays because the fast speed of our life. In addition, Sometimes, majority of employees range from managers to blue colar have to to a lot of work. So, they have no choice but to choose eat fast food. For example, the taxi drivers are busing to working day and night without have a breack. In order to earn more money for their family, they make best use time to driving fro passengers. So, they might not have regular time to have dinner and even have not meal. After that, they develop the unheathy eating habits.
From these, we can not merely claim that the advertising is most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.


For the other hand, our unhealthy behaviour was developed by our bad habit. In the other word, we can say that the bad habit is the most important cause the unhealthy eating habits. To began with, emerging variety of entertainment, we enjoy ourselves with our friends. And we also spend a lot of time playing games. Thus, it is easily to develop unhealthy eating habits. That is reason why so many people become a potato couch, or internet addict. They are devoutely to watching TV and getting on line at most their time. Then, it causes their unhealthy eating habits. And the unhealthy eating habit become they taking it grand. For example, the scientists have investigate that there are more and more people become internet addict in the world. And it is reported that the rate of incresed speed turns faster and faster. What is more, many of the internet addict get stomach disease, heart desease, Whooping cough or
Scarlet fever are much higher than normal. The scientists analyse that most these disease are caused by their bad habits. Therefore, our bad habits is important factors to developed unhealthy eating food.


Admittedly, the advertising has play role which we can not ignore in our life. The advertising not only affectes our thoughts but also influenced our behaviour such as our unhealthy eating habits. We can not resist the delicious and attracting food from the advertising. After we saw the advertising, we will buy it immediately. Nevertheless, there are many other determative factors which influenced our unhealthy behaviour.

Thus, we can not say that the advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habit. And we know that the unhealthy eating habit was caused by numerous other factors. Only if we develop our good habit which including healthy eating habit,
we can keep healthy and elimite our unhealthy eating habit.
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沙发
发表于 2010-10-5 15:45:04 |只看该作者
看了第一第二段,提出几点修改意见,不对的地方欢迎批评指正。

And it is inevitable that the advertising exists in our daily lives every where.

more and more people became machanic nowadays because of the fast speed of our life.

majority of employees ranging from managers to blue colar have to do a lot of work

So, they have no choice but to choose eating fast food.

the taxi drivers are busing (to 删去) working day and night without having a break

they make best use of time (to删去) driving for passengers

So, they might not have regular time to have dinner or even have no meal

后面来不及看了,有事情走开一下。。

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板凳
发表于 2010-10-5 21:07:19 |只看该作者
2# alenxwn

有时间看吗?现在?后面还没有看完的。
麻烦啦

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地板
发表于 2010-10-6 09:03:41 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 wttyuse 于 2010-10-6 09:05 编辑

10-5
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发表于 2010-10-7 09:40:29 |只看该作者
You know, the advertising become more and more showing on the TV, internet , newspaper and so on. And it is inevitable that the advertising exists in our daily life(lives) every where. Some people belive that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. However, in my view, I support that advertising is not the most inportant cause of unhealthy eating habits.最后这句建议换方式表达
For one hand, we develop our unhealthy behavio(u)r by ourselves rather than by the advertising. In the first place, more and more people became(become后面nowadays) machanic nowadays because of the fast speed of our life. In addition, Sometimes, majority of employees range from managers to blue colar have to to(do) a lot of work. So, they have no choice but to choose eat fast food. For example, the taxi drivers are busing to working day and night without have a breacolor=Red](c)k. In order to earn more money for their family, they make best use of time to driving(drive) fro passengers. So, they might not have regular time to have dinner and even have not enough time to eat meal. After that, they develop the unheathy eating habits.
From these, we can not merely claim that the advertising is most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

For the other hand, our unhealthy behaviour was developed by our bad habit(s). In the other word, we can say that the bad habit is the most important cause the unhealthy eating habits这句有点怪. To began with, emerging (in) variety of entertainment, we enjoy ourselves with our friends. And we also spend a lot of time playing games. Thus, it is easily to develop unhealthy eating habits. That is reason why so many people become a potato couch, or internet addict. They are devoutely to watching TV and getting on line at most their time. Then, it causes their unhealthy eating habits. And the unhealthy eating habit become they taking it grand. For example, the scientists have investigate that there are more and more people become internet addict in the world. And it is reported that the rate of incresed speed turns faster and faster. What is more, many of the internet addict get stomach disease, heart desease, Whooping cough
Scarlet fever are much higher than normal. The scientists analyse that most these disease are caused by their bad habits. Therefore, our bad habits is important factors to developed unhealthy eating food.

Admittedly, the advertising has play role which we can not ignore in our life. The advertising not only affectes our thoughts but also influenced our behaviour such as our unhealthy eating habits. We can not resist the delicious and attracting food from the advertising. After we saw改成watching the advertising, we will buy it指代不明 immediately. Nevertheless, there are many other determative factors which influenced our unhealthy behaviour.

Thus, we can not say that the advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habit. And we know that the unhealthy eating habit was caused by numerous other factors. Only if we develop our good habit (which)删掉 including healthy eating habit,we can keep healthy and elimite our unhealthy eating habit.
楼主第一次作文写这么多,实在是难得,实际考试可能不行,建议浓缩一下,有些话能不用就不用,加油~

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RE: 雪Q的作文帖,欢迎来给出您宝贵的意见哦~~~ [修改]
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