argument6

waxtearUID: 2904420

6.The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."



In this application, the arguer spares no effort to convince us that establishing the C Note jazz music club is a wise decision which is sure to bring tremendous profit. To support his viewpoint, the arguer represents three main reasons. Firstly, the C Note is more nearer than its competitor so that it would attract the local market. Secondly, residents in Monroe show great interests in jazz music, which is a good opportunity for them to open the C Note. Thirdly, a survey is used to make us believe jazz fans actually pay a certain amount of money for their jazz entertainment. The arguer considers this complicated problem too easy; as a consequence, he fails to persuade us to agree on the proposal.

In the first place, distance is not the only factor when customers are determined to select one nice pub in their eyes. Although the C Note takes advantages over other clubs on the aspect of distance, if it is weak in instruments, environment, decoration or services, consumers would also turn to the further ones. What is more, in current situation, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, but no one could promise there would be no newly-built and nearer club before the C Note set up.

In the second place, when the arguer talks about local people’s popularity with jazz music, he just gives us three correlative factors without definite causation. For one thing, 100,000 people’s attending jazz festivals doesn’t mean that jazz is extremely welcomed because we even don’t know how many percentage in total population does 100,000 take up and maybe it is just a small part. For another, well-known musicians and radio program could not be the direct reasons for loving jazz and for being willing to go into jazz club.

Last but not the least; a nationwide study statistics could not be wholly used as evidences to prove whether it is proper to open a jazz club in Monroe. $1,000 per year is an average number all over the country instead of Monroe City. If the money local people spend on jazz is far behind the average level, will the arguer insist on the construction of new club? As a result, we really cannot confirm that this is a lucrative business without any risks.

In conclusion, owing to considering one side instead of all sides and confusions between part and entirety, the arguer leaves us a less compelling impression in his application at the same time decrease our confidence in his proposal.

Boris21UID: 2915545

In this application, the arguer spares no effort to convince us that establishing the C Note jazz music club is a wise decision which is sure to bring tremendous profit. To support his viewpoint, the arguer represents three main reasons. Firstly, the C Note is more nearer than its competitor so that it would attract the local market. Secondly, residents in Monroe show great interests in jazz music, which is a good opportunity for them to open the C Note. Thirdly, a survey is used to make us believe jazz fans actually pay a certain amount of money for their jazz entertainment. The arguer considers this complicated problem too easy; as a consequence, he fails to persuade us to agree on the proposal.

In the first place, distance is not the only factor when customers are determined to select one nice pub in their eyes. Although the C Note takes advantages over other clubs on the aspect of distance, if it is weak in instruments, environment, decoration or services, consumers would also turn to the further ones. What is more, in current situation, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, but no one could promise there would be no newly-built and nearer club before the C Note set up.（我感觉最大的逻辑错误是：这里连一家JAZZ club都没有的事实。本身就weaken了论点，一家都没有，直接说明，人们对jazzclub的需求不够强，个人意见而已。）

In the second place, when the arguer talks about local people’s popularity with jazz music, he just gives us three correlative factors without definite causation. For one thing, 100,000 people’s attending jazz festivals doesn’t mean that jazz is extremely（可以用that 这样的弱词替代，因为此处是否定其受欢迎程度） welcomed because we even don’t know how many（用What代替） percentage in total population does 100,000 take up and maybe it is just a small part. For another, well-known musicians and radio program could not be the direct reasons for loving jazz and for being willing to go into jazz club.

Last but not the least; a nationwide study statistics could not be wholly used as evidences to prove whether it is proper to open a jazz club in Monroe. $1,000 per year is an average number all over the country instead of Monroe City. If the money local people spend on jazz is far behind the average level, will the arguer insist on the construction of new club? As a result, we really cannot confirm that this is a lucrative business without any risks.

In conclusion, owing to considering one side instead of all sides and confusions between part and entirety, the arguer leaves us a less compelling impression in his application at the same time decrease our confidence in his proposal.

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