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发表于 2011-2-7 23:11:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Some people think one's working is more important than being with one's family."

Though working can make money for us, it does not mean that working is more important than being with our family. What we need are many things, such as social communication, happiness and so forth. So I consider that being with one's family should be emphasized in this comparison.

First of all, working most of the time cannot promise long-lasting happiness for a person. One does not only strive for material affluence, but also need emotional consolation. If a person is working all of the time, he will have no spare time to stay with his family members. Then he will not obtain emotional sustainment and may lose confidence. He will feel lonely. What I want to say is that staying with one's family can give the one great happiness and encouragement.

Secondly, because our lifetime is limited, so I think we should spend as much time as possible to stay with our family. The world is developing at a fast pace, everyone can change at any time. What we can rely on permanently are our family members, so we should be willing to spend some time with them rather than working all the time. I want to mention my cousin for an example. Three months ago, my cousin has got a serious disease. It was resulted from her hard working and irregular living lifestyle. When the result first came out, she was anxious and fearful. She thought that she would be die out of this disease. Her parents went to the city she stayed in and took care of her day and night. Fortunately, after a few months treatment, she got recovered gradually. After that dark experience, she changed her mind and determined to spend less time and energy in working area. My cousin got clear that only parents can tender her at the very moment, and the time she could spend with them is not perpetual. So she wants to spend a large proportion of her time with family members. Working is not so crucial for her at this moment. I also obtain something from her experience.

In the end, I will stick strongly to my mind that one's working is less important than being with one's family. I would like to spend more time with my family members, talk to them, travel with them and the like.
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发表于 2011-2-8 14:55:27 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 静音 于 2011-2-8 14:57 编辑

Though working can make money for us(不要for us了,有点中式英语), it does not mean thatworking is more important than being with our family. What we need are manythings,other things such as social communication, happiness and so forth. So Iconsider that being with one's family should be emphasized in this comparison. (前面的Need的东西和家庭有什么关系呢?还是叙述清楚一点,家庭能给我们带来这些)
First of all, workingmost of the time cannot promise long-lasting happiness for a person. One doesnot only strive for material affluence, but also need emotional consolation. Ifa person is working all of the time, he will have no spare time to stay withhis family members. (废话,可以简短成半句和后面连起来)Then he will not obtain emotional sustainment and may loseconfidence. He will feel lonely. What I want to say is that staying with one'sfamily can give the one great happiness and encouragement.

Secondly, because ourlifetime is limited, so I think we should spend as much time as possible tostay with our family.(没有逻辑关系) The world is developing at a fast pace, everyone canchange at any time. What we can rely on permanently are our family members, (这句话才是观点,应该放第一句)sowe should be willing to spend some time with them rather than working all thetime. I want to mention my cousin for an example. Three months ago, my cousinhas got a serious disease. It was resulted from her hard working and irregularliving lifestyle. When the result first came out, she was anxious and fearful.She thought that she would be die out of this disease. Her parents went to thecity she stayed in and took care of her day and night. Fortunately, after a fewmonths treatment, she got recovered gradually. After that dark experience, shechanged her mind and determined to spend less time and energy in working area.My cousin got clear that only parents can tender her at the very moment, andthe time she could spend with them is not perpetual. So she wants to spend alarge proportion of her time with family members. Working is not so crucial forher at this moment. I also obtain something from her experience. 这个例子有点太罗嗦了,稍稍简短一点更好。
0 \) y4 `$ T8 V* P& o) {$ X
+ y1 t' Q, @; P0 j& d
In the end, I willstick strongly to my mind that one's working is less important than being withone's family. I would like to spend more time with my family members, talk tothem, travel with them and the like.
如果最后举不出第三个理由的话推荐你反证或者ttf一下

欢迎互批哈https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1230330-1-1.html

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发表于 2011-2-8 21:02:29 |只看该作者
先贴上,这是2.8的作业,谢谢
10.01.22NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Past people are friendlier than they are today.

I have the feeling that as we grown up, we met with more mental problems. It is not because of something with characters or instinct, it is because of the developing society. People now are becoming more complicated than previous years. The fast-moving society creates many problems for today's people.

First of all, I want to say something about my childhood. Because I think the most important difference is that people are not as reliable as in the past. When I was a child, I lived in my hometown that located in a rural area. This was a quiet and peaceful place. Very few people lived in there, so everyone was familiar with one another. During the daytime, people seldom locked their door, in case others would came in and talked to them. If they locked door at night, that was because they wanted to keep their cattle in. But now, I live in a city where people are unfamiliar with one another. A few years past, I even don't know who live upstairs and downstairs in this building. So people are not as friendly as they were in the past.

Furthermore, I think today's people are not dependable enough. The only one we can rely on permanently is our family. If someone wants to construct a friend relationship with you, that may be he has similar interest or goal with you. I found that my friends would change as I moved to a new place. Though some friends are very kind to us before, but since our environment will change, the distance between our physical and mental body will increase absolutely. But in the past, things are different, people would like to maintain constant friendship with everyone they were familiar with.

Next, I want to say that people are not so bad in today's world. Because the more developed the society is, the more wealth or goal they want to obtain. They want to strive for more wealth or higher status. So they may busy than ever before. From this point, I think people are less friendly than before is that they want to work. They have no more time to spend with other people except some important ones. This may let others think he or she is not kind enough now.

In the end, I think that past people are surely friendlier than they are today. This is determined by many factors. But after all, people are kind in their deep hearts, they just don't have spare time to spend with others.

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发表于 2011-2-8 23:55:04 |只看该作者
2.8独立已修改,请查收
加油加油
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发表于 2011-2-9 11:29:35 |只看该作者
I have the feeling that as we grown(grew) up, we met with more mental problems. It is not because of something with characters or instinct, it is because of the developing society. (it is not because but because 会简洁点吧)People now are becoming more complicated than previous years. The fast-moving society creates many problems for today's people.

First of all, I want to say something about my childhood. Because I think the most important difference is that people are not as reliable as in the past. When I was a child, I lived in my hometown that located in a rural area. This was a quiet and peaceful place. Very few people lived in there, so everyone was familiar with one another. During the daytime, people seldom locked their door, in case others would came in and talked to them. If they locked door at night, that was because they wanted to keep their cattle in. But now, I live in a city where people are unfamiliar with one another. A few years past, I even don't know who live upstairs and downstairs in this building. So people are not as friendly as they were in the past.
Furthermore, I think today's people are not dependable enough. The only one we can rely on permanently is our family. If someone wants to construct a friend relationship with you, that may be he has similar interest or goal with you. I found that my friends would change as I moved to a new place. Though some friends are very kind to us before, but since our environment will change, the distance between our physical and mental body will increase absolutely. But in the past, things are different, people would like to maintain constant friendship with everyone they were familiar with.

Next, I want to say that people are not so bad in today's world. Because the more developed the society is, the more wealth or goal they want to obtain. They want to strive for more wealth or higher status. So they may busy than ever before. From this point, I think people are less friendly than before is that they want to work. They have no more time to spend with other people except some important ones. This may let others think he or she is not kind enough now.

In the end, I think that past people are surely friendlier than they are today. This is determined by many factors. But after all, people are kind in their deep hearts, they just don't have spare time to spend with others.
第三段可以写写过去的人友谊长久的原因啦。
例子都很贴切其实, 看着很清晰 。表达也不错学习啦

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发表于 2011-2-9 21:36:17 |只看该作者
2.9的独立作文
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发表于 2011-2-10 11:24:30 |只看该作者
没法传附件。LZ将就看着了。


I don't agree with this idea that people should be taught how to manage their money at an early age. I think找个替换词 this has little to do with one's financially independence in the future. What we should do is to foster children's social ability.

First of all, teaching people how to manage their money at an early age may have some negatives. Because好像最好别用在开头 children are pure enough, they shouldn't别缩写 be taught too much about money. This will distract them from positive things such as learning and playing.不太懂这个逻辑,钱就不positive了?  Children are pure enough at their time,表达重复了 they should concentrate on their studying and social communication. Some of my classmates in the past, they had a strong ability to manage money. I am craving for学习了 their highly management at that time, but now I have no desire about that. 这两句之间的逻辑关系? I think找替换词 I have the same ability with them, though not great enough. Thus I think a good ability to manage money doesn't mean financial independence in the future.

Secondly, I think if one wants to develop financial independence in the future???, he must learn how to live by himself. This is related with social skills. A child should learn how to play and talk with his partners friendly. This can be achieved by joining various social activities. He should also learn how to overcome every difficulty by himself. If so, the child will develop a strong ability to be financially independence, not to mention living alone well. 我总觉得这段的理由是有点牵强的吧。

Another method I think换词吧 a child can develop financial skills is that he should do housework.前面这句语法有问题好像? As people's living standard developing, and their life 不知道是不是要加个are ? becoming much more wealth词性, adults treat extremely well to their children. Most kids太口语了 are overprotected these days. Some kids living in urban areas may not know what potatoes look like when these are inedible.马铃薯为什么不能吃? How can they do housework then? If parents let their children do housework, they can tell their children how life is tough in fact. It's important to give children bitterness to feel. As a result, they may know how to live economically. 很有新意的论点阿,学习了。

In the end, I think it's useless太绝对了会不? to teach people how to manage their money at an early age. If people want to develop financial independence,我还是不懂这个前后的逻辑关系 they can learn social skills or do housework. These can help them become financially mature in the future.

结构表达什么的都不错呢。学习了。

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发表于 2011-2-10 13:12:34 |只看该作者
改好了
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发表于 2011-2-12 10:19:47 |只看该作者
作业 ,谢谢
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发表于 2011-2-12 16:23:19 |只看该作者
2.11 改
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发表于 2011-2-12 21:41:46 |只看该作者
独立:
Do you agree with the following statement? Some people think to watch a movie in a cinema is better, but others think at home is better.

Some people like to watch movies at their spare time, but they have different types to watch them觉得改成物做主语比较好- but there are different types for them to watch. As for me, I like to watch a movie at home. There are several advantages support my idea.
First of all, I think the most obvious advantage of watching a movie at home is convenience词性 which means I can watch at any time I want and enjoys是enjoy foods. As we all know, if somebody wants to watch a movie in a cinema, he干嘛就只能he呢,建议改成【he or her】 has to buy a ticket and watch it at the certain time. He must sit there all the time, though he can go to bathroom or eat snacks quietly. However, if I watch a movie in a cinema, I can watch it in a flexible time, and enjoy delicious foods. I can sit in a sofa, even lie in it if I wish. So from this sense, I think watching a movie at home is more convenient. 对比鲜明。
In the second place, watching a movie at home is cheaper than go应该是going吧? to a cinema. Most movie tickets are expensive, especially at some particular time and cinemas. Last semester, two of my roommates went to a cinema. They chose时态,另外还有句子的语法问题 to watch in the morning because movie tickets in the morning are cheaper than in去掉 other time. So they had to get up early and wear many clothes as it was a cold winter. Yet I think watch改成watching a movie at home is easy and comfortable. I just need to buy a CD and watch it. The CD can be used in many times, and I can get better understanding about this movie.
Last but not least, people who choose to watch a movie in a cinema may appreciate the great effect, but I can say the effect can be felt at home. Because of high technology, the video can be made advanced and gives us the feeling that we are in the cinema. No one to talk to you? Families are there. Or we can invent是invite? our friends to join us. So we can obtain the same effect of watching a movie in a cinema as we watching it at home.
In the end, according to all the advantages, I consider that watching a movie at home is better than watching it in a cinema.
文章思路很鲜明。

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发表于 2011-3-9 22:23:01 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 sourjuice 于 2011-3-9 22:24 编辑

3.9独立作文
很久没练作文了,我又回来了,谢谢
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