6.22日第一次开贴~ 菜鸟作文贴，欢迎批评指正！！！

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

啊今天开始好好准备托福考试！！！作文是大菜鸟一个准备献丑把作文放上来。。顺便逼自己写作文很好！！！！加油！！！

我是明天去米国读大一的现在在学校的话应该是高二升高三（我为了出国多不容易-0-！！！ 我都都都都不去学校了 我好怀念同学T-T）

希望战友们多批评指正我希望作文分数能高一点因为我不晓得怎么写作文 高中这个接触的是在太少了   一起加油吧！！！！！！！！

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

Tpo8 综合写作


In the lecture, the speaker challenges the critics points that the memoir of the Chevalier de Seingalt is not really true. She explains  the three questions in the reading perfectly and indicates that the memoir is definitely reliable. It is quite clear that the lecture cast doubts on the critics’ opinion.

First of all,  the professor disagrees with the critics' assertion that the loan of the Chevalier de Seingalt for gambling reveals the poverty of Chevalier. According to the professor, the loan does not mean Chevalier is poor. Gambling needs cash, and we all know that it takes time turning the p into cash. Hence, in fact Chevalier is rich.

Another important point showed in the reading material is that the memoir was made many years after the conversation, so the memoir must be inaccurate. However, the lecture states that Chevalier wrote down the conversation in his journal. He actually applied this kind of documents to the memoir several years after the conversation. Under such condition,
the details of the memoir must be accurate.

Finally the professor illustrates that Chevalier did escape from the prison by using a piece of metal to make a hole in the roof. She says that even the more powerful people who were in that prison cannot bribed to free, Chevalier absolutely could not succeed in escaping by bribing. And the government repaired the roof after Chevalier escaped, which indicates that the roof is damaged by Chevalier. Such assertion contradicts the standpoints made by the writer who said that Chevelier bribed for free.

In general, we can easily make a conclusion that the points of the professor strongly reveal the inaccuracy of the critics.

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

TPO9综合写作 6.28
In the lecture, the speaker challenges the reading's opinion that fuel-cell engines have several advantages over internal-combustion engines by providing several persuasive explanations about the resource of the petroleum and the hydrogen, the pollution of the fuel-cell engines and internal-combustion engines, and the cost of two kinds of engines. It's quite clear that the lecture is casting doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, the professor disagrees with the passage's assertion that fuel-cell engines are better than internal-combustion engines because the petroleum, which is relied on by the internal-combustion engines, is a finite resource and the hydrogen does not have such problem. According to the professor, the hydrogen does have such disadvantage. The hydrogen is not as easily as available as petroleum because the water cannot be directly used for fuel-cell engines. The process needs highly artificial technology and needs a very cold temperature. Hence, the fuel-cell engines are not practical.

Another important point showed in the reading material is that the internal-combustion engines will produce large amount of pollution which can be avoid by the fuel-cell engines. However, the professor, conversely, suggests that although internal-combustion will pollute the environment, the replace of the fuel-cell engines cannot solve that problem. The fuel-cell engines indeed do contaminate the environment as well. When produce the hydrogen, the process should burn a lot of coal and oil, which will emit the noxious gas as well.

Finally, the professor illustrates that people cannot save money if they operate a fuel-cell engine instead of a inter-combustion engine. The fuel-engines need some expensive material to produce and as mentioned above the producing process is pretty difficult. The price of the fuel-cell engines must be higher than the internal-combustion engines.

In general, we can easily make a conclusion that the points of the professor are contradicted to those of the reading passage. It clearly reveals the inaccuracy of the reading passage.

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

人们应该坚持有挑战性的梦想还是现实的梦想？6.28
People’s opinions are divergent on this complex and controversial issue about which kind of ideal should people focus on, the practical one or the challenging one. Some people believe that people should have a practical dream because the difficult process of chasing the challenging dream may depress us. Others insist that it’s better for us to pursue a challenging one. As far as I am concerned, the latter one is better, because of the following reasons: gaining more knowledge, avoiding slacking, and forming persevering quality.

First of all, having a challenging goal may help us enrich our knowledge. With the purpose to accomplish a difficult task, we are willing to lean extra knowledge to achieve our success. Such action can broaden our outlook and enlarge our horizon. Having SAT test, for example, is a kind of challenging stuff, especially the critical reading section, for Chinese students. When I am pursuing this relatively high goal, I read many books about American history in order to improve my reading scores. During this process, I learn a lot which I cannot learn from our school textbooks. Hence, aspiring after a challenging goal leads us to a rich and colorful world.

Moreover, we will be of diligence when we are chasing our challenging dream. We can imagine that if we know our goals were easily to accomplish, we would slack off sometimes. This can possibly make us tend to form a lazy habit which is not good for our future. A recent survey shows that over 80% of people admit that they want to relax more when they have a practical goal than when they have a challenging goal. It clearly indicates that a challenging goal can keep people active, prevent people from being a goldbrick, and help develop an industrious attribute.

From another aspect, it is acceptable that a fortitude spirit is built while we are in pursuit of our challenging goals. In the course of chasing the difficult goal, we are evitable to meet various kinds of setbacks. After we overcome several times of discouragements, we will no longer be afraid of any difficulty. Confidence is established day by day. All the scientists, who greatly contribute to our society, used to have such challenging dreams. And as we all know, they will never easily give up. Under such condition, we can be more persistent.

To sum up, due to the analysis mentioned above, we can safely draw a conclusion that it is better for us to pursue a challenging dream. Even though the practical dreams are easy to achieve, the advantages of the challenging dream outweigh its disadvantages.

piggy.6408UID??3101490

In the lecture, the speaker challenges the reading's opinion that fuel-cell engines have several advantages over internal-combustion engines by comparing the resource of the petroleum and the hydrogen, the pollution of the fuel-cell engines and internal-combustion engines, and the cost of two kinds of engines. It's quite clear that the lecture is casting doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, the professor disagrees with the passage's assertion that fuel-cell engines are better than internal-combustion engines because the petroleum, which is relied on by the internal-combustion engines, is a finite resource and the hydrogen does not have such problem. According to the professor, the hydrogen does have such a disadvantage. The hydrogen is not as easily available as petroleum because hydrogen should be kept in purified solid condition and the water cannot be directly used for fuel-cell engines. The process needs highly artificial technology and a very cold temperature. Hence, the fuel-cell engines are not practical.

Another important point showed in the reading material is that the internal-combustion engines will produce large amount of pollution which can be avoid by the fuel-cell engines. However, the professor, conversely, suggests that although internal-combustion will pollute the environment, the replace of the fuel-cell engines cannot solve that problem. The fuel-cell engines indeed do contaminate the environment as well. When produce the hydrogen, the process should burn a lot of coal and oil, which also will emit the noxious gas to the air.
Finally, the professor illustrates that people cannot save money if they operate a fuel-cell engine instead of a inter-combustion engine. The fuel-engines need some expensive material to produce and as mentioned above the producing process is pretty difficult. The price of the fuel-cell engines must be higher than the internal-combustion engines.

In general, we can easily make a conclusion that the points of the professor are contradicted to those of the reading passage. It clearly reveals the inaccuracy of the reading passage

写的不错啊，思路很清楚，而且言简意赅。如果改的不正确，希望指正！！

冰雪蜂鸟UID??2754485

6月28日作文修改

People’sopinions are divergent on this complex and controversial issue about which kindof ideal(ideal的意思是理想的，完美的。应该使用idea)should people focus on, the practical one or the challenging one(在第一次提到这个plan的时候应该说完成，如：a practical plan forone’s future or a challenging one). Some people believe that people should have apractical dream because the difficult process of chasing the challenging dreammay depress us (这句话主语是some people, 最后又说depress us，有一点指代混乱的感觉。可以直接说may depressed。不过这一点仅仅是我个人意见). Others insist that it’sbetter for us（这个for us 也是可以省略的） to pursue a challenging one.
As far as I am concerned, the latter one is better,because of the following reasons: gaining more knowledge, avoiding slacking,and forming persevering quality.（很直接，并且给出了三个理由，非常好！）

First of all, having achallenging goal may help us enrich our knowledge. With the purpose toaccomplish a difficult task, we are willing to lean（learn） extra knowledge to achieve oursuccess. Such action can broaden our outlook and enlarge our horizon. HavingSAT test, for example, is a kind of challenging stuff, especially the criticalreading section, for Chinese students. When I am pursuing this relatively highgoal, I read many books about American history in order to improve my readingscores. During this process, I learn a lot(具体是什么？不过就是主题句的同义转换。) which I cannot learn fromour school textbooks. Hence, aspiring after a challenging goal leads us to arich and colorful world.（最后一句话给我的感觉很松散，任何事情都可以说是rich andcolorful，与本段主题句的关系并不明显）

Moreover,we will be of diligence when we are chasing our challenging dream(还要提一下你的观点是在challengingplan). We canimagine that if we know our goals were easily to accomplish, we would slack offsometimes. This can possibly make us tend to form a lazy habit which is notgood for our future. A recent survey shows that over 80% of people admit thatthey want to relax more when they have a practical goal than when they have achallenging goal. It clearly indicates that a challenging goal can keep peopleactive, prevent people from being a goldbrick, and help develop an industriousattribute.（这一段写的很好啊，第一句表明观点，两句话解释，例子也符合解释，总结回扣主题。）


From another aspect, it is acceptablethat a fortitude spirit is built while we are in pursuit of our challenginggoals. In the course of chasing the difficult goal, we are evitable to meetvarious kinds of setbacks. After we overcome several times of discouragements,we will no longer be afraid of any difficulty. Confidence is establishedday by day. All the scientists, who greatly contribute to our society, used tohave such challenging dreams. And as we all know, they will never easily giveup. Under such condition, we can be more persistent.
（这一段的结构就没有前两段那么好了，第一句没有点名分论点。第一段已经点明了三个分论点，所以读者就很期待的在接下来三个段找这三个点。然而这一段的前两句始终没有出现。这一点比较像中国人写作文哈~我觉得第一句话可以说：the process of pursuingthe challenging goal will help us to build up a strong-mind, if we overcome theseemingly insurmountable obstacles.其实这句话也就是你的第三句，我同义转换了一下。）

Tosum up, due to the analysis mentioned above, we can safely draw a conclusionthat it is better for us to pursue a challenging dream. Even though thepractical dreams are easy to achieve, the advantages of the challenging dreamoutweigh its disadvantages.（结尾没问题哈，让步也很好！）

总结一下：我觉得你的用词和用例子都是很好的，这样的话能写出很多字。应该多练习的是老美的写作形式和文章结构，如开门见山，观点明确神马的。个人意见哦，觉得不妥的咱们再讨论！

ps. 问一下，怎么贴地址可以就可以直接贴到本楼了？

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

5# piggy.6408

等下帮你改哟~非常感谢！！ ！！！

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

6# 冰雪蜂鸟
非常感谢！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
我也不晓得肿么直接贴到本楼哇~ 我家早上停电了-0-    听个听力忙上帮你改作文哟！（没改过作文见谅哈~）

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

Nowadays, people’s opinions are divergent on this complex and controversial issue about whether teachers should take courses every five years to update their knowledge. Some people think that replenishing new knowledge is important. Others believe that it is not necessary. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter one. Then, I will show you my reasons.

First of all, taking courses will cost much money. Since the extra cost, teachers will feel more stressed. Being a teacher cannot earn much money and teachers need these salaries to do many things such as paying the rent and shopping. If teachers have to take courses regularly, they will not have much money doing their favourite things. And as a result, teachers may feel unease and worry about how to make more money. This negative mood is not good for teachers because it will distract teachers’ attention when they are working. Hence, this vicious circle will keep continuing, which definitely destroy the original harmony in teachers’ lives.

Furthermore, teachers should spend lots of extra time if they need to take courses. The time spent on these courses will take up the time for exercise or some other stuff. We know that teachers should work really hard not only to teach students expertise but also moral principle. Under such condition, teachers do need some exercise to relax and keep fit. A recent survey shows that over 85% of teachers say that they will take regular exercise in order to stay healthy. The lack of time means the lack of exercise. From that aspect, we can see that if teachers are too busy to exercise, this situation will contribute to some physical problems which have bad effects on teachers.

In another aspect, teachers do not need to take courses every 5 years. Every teacher has his or her own particular method to teach. This distinctive manner and style will develop during the teaching. So it is unnecessary to take class to learn the new ways of teaching. In addition, teachers can obtain various up to date knowledge without having courses as well. In these days, with the fast development of technology, teachers can easily learn what they want from books, TV and Internet.
With such all kinds of method, why should teachers to take the so called courses? Having those courses is certainly a sort of waste of money, time and energy. Teachers do not have to spend the needless effort on this, do they?

To sum up, from the analysis above, we can clearly draw the conclusion that teachers are not required to take course every 5 year to update their knowledge. Although taking courses may make people feel real and substantive, teachers can still live happily without such feeling

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

Nowadays, people’s opinions are divergent on this complex and controversial issue about whether teachers should take courses every five years to update their knowledge. Some people think that replenishing new knowledge is important. Others believe that it is not necessary. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter one. Then, I will show you my reasons.

First of all, taking courses will cost much money. Since the extra cost, teachers will feel more stressed. Being a teacher cannot earn much money and teachers need these salaries to do many things such as paying the rent and shopping. If teachers have to take courses regularly, they will not have much money doing their favourite things. And as a result, teachers may feel unease and worry about how to make more money. This negative mood is not good for teachers because it will distract teachers’ attention when they are working. Hence, this vicious circle will keep continuing, which definitely destroy the original harmony in teachers’ lives.

Furthermore, teachers should spend lots of extra time if they need to take courses. The time spent on these courses will take up the time for exercise or some other stuff. We know that teachers should work really hard not only to teach students expertise but also moral principle. Under such condition, teachers do need some exercise to relax and keep fit. A recent survey shows that over 85% of teachers say that they will take regular exercise in order to stay healthy. The lack of time means the lack of exercise. From that aspect, we can see that if teachers are too busy to exercise, this situation will contribute to some physical problems which have bad effects on teachers.

In another aspect, teachers do not need to take courses every 5 years. Every teacher has his or her own particular method to teach. This distinctive manner and style will develop during the teaching. So it is unnecessary to take class to learn the new ways of teaching. In addition, teachers can obtain various up to date knowledge without having courses as well. In these days, with the fast development of technology, teachers can easily learn what they want from books, TV and Internet.
With such all kinds of method, why should teachers to take the so called courses? Having those courses is certainly a sort of waste of money, time and energy. Teachers do not have to spend the needless effort on this, do they?

To sum up, from the analysis above, we can clearly draw the conclusion that teachers are not required to take course every 5 year to update their knowledge. Although taking courses may make people feel real and substantive, teachers can still live happily without such feeling

julijoneUID??2843727

你可以去水版灌水 30分够了就可以发附件了

zhangbao0607UID??2943226

共勉之，有点迟，不好意思！

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

20100313NA Printed books have greater effects on the society than television has.
When it comes to the question about which one have greater effects on the society, printed books or televisions, different people will show divergent views. Some people think that reading book is better for people than watching televisions. Others believe that watching television is better. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter one. Now, let me show you some aspects in the following passage.

First of all, watching television is more environmental-friendly than reading books. Since the fact that the papers of the books are made of woods, during the process of producing papers, a huge number of trees should be cut down in order to provide the raw material, which will definitely increase the exacerbate the greenhouse effect. On the contrary, watching television will not lead to such bad consequence. Televisions only need a little bit electricity to work. Compared to the influence of books, televisions’ is much better. Hence, televisions are better for the environment. We had better use electronic devices to replace some of the books.

Furthermore, we can obtain the latest news by watching TV, but we can only read the relative old information from books. We all know that books cannot provide news for us. They need such a long time to be published. Under such condition, books are not able to tell readers what happens, right now. In contrast televisions are very good at providing news. We can clearly know the international situation, the latest technologic advance and so on. For example, I watch weather forecast every day, knowing prediction of the tomorrow’s weather, so that I can make the arrangement of whether I will play outside or not. And it is impossible to read the weather prediction in the books. So watching televisions is a better method to gain the up-to-date information than reading books.

In another aspect, we can learn things quickly by watching TV than by reading books. It is obvious that there are only words and stationary pictures in the books. Readers have to comprehend various information from such humdrum forms. And it is difficult to understand complicated instructions by reading books. However, we can listen and watch the televisions. The dynamic images can help us understand complex information better. In addition, we can get more information by listening than by reading in a given period time. We can not only learn more easily but also save time by watching TV.

To sum up, from the analysis above, we can clearly draw the conclusion that televisions have better effects than books have. Although we can feel a quiet aura when reading books, the advantages of watching TV far outweigh its disadvantages

佳佳LOVE舞UID??3050951

11# julijone

谢谢啦， 我是网速有问题我能看到附件的按钮的但是我就是回复不动嘿嘿

happinessviviUID??2837177

搞定！