作文贴，自改

chair020928UID：2956418

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

正在努力提高作文能力，自己初改了一遍，蓝色是原来的，黑色的新改的，红色是学习的单词，请高人指点，我自己的修改是不是比原来好一些了？ 如何改的更好，和提高作文能力！ 拜求！

It is always a controversial topic , among both officials and citizens,whether or not the government should focus more budget on children education rather than on universities.(The issue on government budget for education is always a controversial topic being fierce discussed（激烈的)among both officials and citizens.）As I see,with their own characteristics and requirements,either young children education or universities play a significant role in the development of society.Hence,it is the responsibility for government to balance the budget based on needs of progress of country. (Some people consider young children education more significant than universities that should be given more budget support form government, while others hold the opposite point. In my opinion, I think that government should be responsible to balance the budget between )


First of all(Firstly), with vigors and good memory,childhood is seemingly apt to accept new knowledge or skills.Besides,it is the most crucial period to establish the basic episteme system,to improve intellectural level,to accumulate useful lore for their future development.( young period is the best learning time for a person with better memory and vitality) From this point, children education should be given sufficient emphasis including additional budget.(hence it is rather obvious that we should pay more attention on children education.)
In China, great imbalance of distribution of educational resource occur at urban and rural area.(In China, there are great differences between preliminary schools in city and in county.) There is even no well equiped preliminary school in some of rural area,not mentioned the other neccesities for teaching,compared to the modern schools in urban area. (Some preliminary schools in county haven’t modern equipments or good library, even no one would like to stay for teaching because of low salary. All of these have caused serious impacts on the future development of children in county. )Therefore, I deem that more budget from government is essential to support children education,especially for the rural zone.(Therefore, I think that government must give more budget or strategy support to young children education in county.)

On the other side,better education the children receive,more prosperous the society will be in the future.That is to say that children education appear to become a certain decisive factor,probably not the only one,for society progress.(Secondly,young children education is vital because the youths will be hosts of country in future and be the decisive strength for successful development of a country in some extent.) Effective budget support may play a positive role in the improvements of educational conditions .Children education department could make advantage of it to facilitate the equipments,to provide advanced training,or to increase salary so as to attract more eligible faculty devoted theirself to teaching. (The government budget for young education could be used to enhance the personal ability of teachers, to renew the teaching equipments and condition, to increase teachers’ salary and so on. By doing the above things, it will improve the quality of young children education greatly and will foster more and more excellent people for future development of country.)

Nevertheless,it doesn’t follow that universities could be ignored for unimportance.(Nevertheless, it doesn’t follow that universities are not important for country development.) Young children education,as initial stage,only imparts rudiments of science and technology,while universities,as advanced academic institution,make students pursue their scientific dream in a specific field,like astromony,mathematics,physics and so on. (Young children educaiton is only the basic education stage, it makes children to gain rudiments on science and technology.With the general accumulation of knowledgement, they must futher their study in universities in order to get great achievement or apply the knowedge in practical work in specific field. )Amost all of the scientists and technicians who have made great contribution to society are fostered by universities.There is no evidence that children education have more advantage over universities,nor the former deserves more budget than the latter one.Hence,it is equally significant to obtain government budget for better development of universities. (Most of the qualified scientists and technicians are fostered by universities and Almost all of the top technologies in military, physics, electronics and astronomy come from the universtiies. From this point, it is more significant of universities’ education which provide the chance for students to study specific diciplinary deeply. So it is undoubted that government should give sufficient budget for construction of universities.)
In a nutshell,as a society rely primarily on both young children education and universities,it is convincing that government should balance the budget for succesful development of country.(In a word, I think that both young children education and universities have their own roles in successful development of counry. It is the government responsibiliy to balance the budget in order to guarantee the good development of every education stage instead of focusing on one of them.)




第一轮作文别人给修改的。。。。
The issue on government budget for education is always a controversial topic being fierce discussed among both officials and (ordinary people中国式英语) citizens. Some people consider young children education more significant than universities that should be given more budget support from government, while others hold the opposite point. In my opinion, I think that government should be responsible to balance the budget between young children education and universities according to development requirement of country.
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Firstly, young period is the best learning time for a person with better memory and vitality; hence it is rather obvious that we should pay more attention （on) to & u" z5 R' c/ ?* L8 P
children education. In China, there are great differences between preliminary schools in city and in county. Some preliminary schools in county (haven’t）don’t have modern equipments or good libraries(y), even no one would like to stay for teaching because of low salary. All of these have caused serious impacts on the future development of children in country. Therefore, I think that government must give more budget or strategy support to young children education in country.
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Secondly, young children education is vital because the youths will be hosts of country in future and be the decisive strength for successful development of a country in some extent. The government budget for young education could be used to enhance the personal ability of teachers, to renew the teaching equipments and condition, to increase teachers’ salary and so on. By doing the above things, it will improve the quality of young children education greatly and will foster more and more excellent people for future development of country.! w5 m( t  ^2 L% X& }$ F: F
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Nevertheless, it doesn’t follow that universities are not important for country development. Young children education is only the basic education stage, it makes children to gain rudiments on science and technology. With the general accumulation of knowledgement, they must further their study in universities in order to get great achievement or apply the knowedge in practical work in specific field. Most of the qualified scientists and technicians are fostered by universities and Almost all of the top technologies in military, physics, electronics and astronomy come from the universtiies. From this point, it is more significant of universities’ education which provide the chance for students to study specific diciplinary deeply. So it is undoubted that government should give sufficient budget for construction of universities.
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In a word, I think that both young children education and universities have their own roles in successful development of counry. It is the government responsibiliy to balance the budget in order to guarantee the good development of every education stage instead of focusing on one of them. ; C/ N$ {  h9 [/ D% {" Q

- A4 J$ b) T( @+ s6 b: s, g结构很清晰，' V7 s5 d7 q: {1 r9 g  z
但是我觉得楼主应该把作文贴上来之前先起码好好检查一下自己的拼写错误吧？ 前面一开始我还在改但是后面发现太多了我就只画出来了。( i* }# m' X: x$ L# t) ?
此外建议楼主平时多积累些好用法、好句子，可以通过多看范文、看英文小说什么的， 因为你的句子我觉得读起来有点费劲有点别扭，到了考场让老美考官读完可能对分数不利；
/ y7 c: U: I# O* d, ]0 @  x欢迎相互交流：） 我的作文我这就写，写完欢迎你来改^_^6 M  J  \& \& X, R3 t/ w0 G
1# chair020928

chair020928UID：2956418

Agree or disagree? If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

There is no doubt that the more effort the children have,the better performance they will be.That is to say that whether or not the child could do well in school is greatly due to their devotion to learning.However,I still cannot be side with the argument that the good performance is resulting from parents limiting the hours of watching TV program or movies.Major reasons against above point are listed as following.

First of all,cultivating the interest to school curriculum,for the children,is more effective way than time control to make them do well in school.The rigid limitation may even play a negative role that not being expected.Children are prone to be aggressive or avoid to do well in purpose.My own experience given a good explanation.I have been sometimes fascinating with cartoon film,while it isn’t an easy way for me to watch them for my parents limited.Each time I had to do school work under my parents supervision,the cartoon characters just hanging around in my mind made me not concentrate on learning.

Besides, watching TV programs or movies may broaden children’s vision or obtain more knowledge out of textbooks without overindulges.Some programs,which I often watched during the childhood,are still impressed me a lot until now.Discovery,one of my favorates occupied spare time,has transmitted certain geography information,as well as scientific principal to me.It inspires me to pursue further learning on science and arouse my curiosity of unknown field.

Also, TV programs or movies may relax children from school burden.Entertainment or comedy is essential for both adults and children,that may refresh our minds and recover from heavy pressures.From this point,a reasonable schedule of watching TV or movies may probably not lead to bad performace in school,but enhance the school behavior in some extent.

In a nutshell,there is no neccessary links between bad school behavior and watching TV or movies hours. The simple way that limits the hours of watching TV programs and movies is apparently not as effective as they are expected.

故意的 deliberately ,in purpose

Time:100 min
Words:325

Indulge,overindulge

Constraint,constrain,restrict,control

Incentive

Passion

Inculcate

Whereas,