【Daily Writing作文特训小组】by萝卜

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members so there's no need for the government to help them.


As the advancement of our society, the function of the government has been discussed for numerous times. Regarding the issue of whether the government needs to assist to resolve the critical problems of individuals, some doubt it and argue that these can be settled by individuals or with the help of their family members. Nevertheless, I disagree with them for several reasons.

Admittedly, since some troubles can be handled by people or with the help of their relatives and friends, it is no need to take advantage of resources of the government to deal with. For instance, a problem regarding parting the possession of a family really can be solved through the communication of family members.

However, so serious are some issues that they cannot be settled by individulas or their family members only, thus assistances from governmemtn are needed. If Chinese government did not carry out rescue vicitms after the terrible Wenchuan earthquake, how many people would survive only by themselves or with the help from their relatives and friend? If government did not take any meausres, how fast would they rebuild their cities or villages? Such kind of troubles are the problems of the whole society or the whole country, therefore we cannot only depend on one family to resolve them.

Futhermore, assuming that governments leave some problems to be solved by people and their families and friends, people might deal with these troubles illeagly. There was a man in my city whose shop has been stealed last year. He did not asked for help from government, or say law, but called his relatives to handle this issue, since he believed that this was one who usually opposited him did. As a reault, they rushed into that person’s home and killed him. They did resolved this problem by themselves, however, at the expense of another man’s life, which in fact brought more problems to our society.

To sum up, we cannot deny that individuals can deal with some significant problems by themselves or their family memebers, thus the government can save the resouces of solving these issues. Yet, as far as I am concerned, some issues are too complex to be solved by people themselves, and people may handle problems by unsuitable means, so the government still need to help to resolve individulas’ issues.

yuqivickeyUID：2962925

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members so there's no need for the government to help them.' \& \3 `6 D, M


As the advancement of our society, the function of the government has been discussed for numerous times. Regarding the issue of whether the government needs to assist to resolve the critical problems of individuals, some doubt it and argue that these can be settled by individuals or with the help of their family members. Nevertheless, I disagree with them for several reasons. " L0 b; C8 F& Y8 Z7 c9 j$ W
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Admittedly, since some troubles can be handled by people or with the help of their relatives and friends, it is no need(there is no need to) to take advantage of resources of the government to deal with. For instance, a problem regarding（表示“关于”，后面只能接名词） parting the possession（分割财产，我找到的是divide property,你这个还没找到呢） of a family really can be solved through the communication of family members.
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However, so serious are（倒装用的很好哦··） some issues that they cannot be settled by individulas or their family members only, thus assistances from governmemtn are needed. If Chinese government did not carry out rescue vicitm(rescue可以直接表示名词“营救”，你这里的rescue到底是动词还是名词 ) after the terrible Wenchuan earthquake, how many people would survive only by themselves or with the help from their relatives and friend? If government did not take any meausres, how fast would they rebuild their cities or villages? Such kind of troubles are the problems of the whole society or the whole country, therefore we cannot only depend on one family to resolve them.我觉得举得例子很到位

Futhermore, assuming that governments leave some problems to be solved by people and their families and friends, people might deal with these troubles illeagly. There was a man in my city whose shop has been stealed last year. He did not asked for help from government, or say law, but（用instead更恰当） called his relatives to handle this issue, since he believed that this was one who usually opposited（opposite没有动词形式~应该是opposed） him did. As a result, they rushed into that person’s home and killed him. They did resolved this problem by themselves, however, at the expense of another man’s life, which in fact brought more problems to our society./ Q( G0 y. q9 O. u. n% K2 d
To sum up, we cannot deny that individuals can deal with some significant problems by themselves or their family memebers, thus the government can save the resouces of solving these issues. Yet, as far as I am concerned, some issues are too complex to be solved by people themselves, and people may handle problems by unsuitable means, so the government still need to help to resolve individulas’ issues.
我觉得的写得不错啊

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

谢谢你，我有些用法实在是太chinglish了，我会好好改正的~不过我看到的说法是regarding后面接句子，with regard to后面接词组的啊~ 2# yuqivickey

樾悦UID：2689181

好啦~   谢谢~

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

北美机经：2010.3.27Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:In order to make ourselves happy, we should learn how to make others happy first.Happiness is the ever-lasting pursuit of human beings, and the disscussions regarding it will not stop. Some argue that we need to learn to make others happy if we want to attain our own happiness, which is contrary to my own standpoints however.

Admittedly, I will feel happy if others are happy, since it seems happiness will pass one to another. For example, after I help my friends resolve problems, their smiles will make me happy for the whole day. Besides, others’ unhappiness will impact my feelings as well.

Nevertheless, making others happy will not ensure my happiness all the time, even it will function to an opposite direction, since I have to compromise. I argued with my mother relating my dress several times. Last time, I intended to attend a party with my T-shirt and pans. Yet my mother maintained that my dress was not suitable for a party even thougth it was only a small one with some classmates of my high school. I argued that no one would care about my dress at the party. At a result, I had to change my clothes with a more beautiful skirt to satisfy my mother, which made me unhappy due to the limitations to my gestures that this skirt brought.

Futhermore, even if I want to make others happy, I cannot satisfy them all, since different people have various views regarding a certain topic. Once I asked my friends to offer some suggestions on the plan of our vacation. A prefered to visit big cities, such as Shanghai, Beijing and Guangzhou. B would like to attend a outdoor activity to go hiking on a mountain. C believed that staying our own city was the best choic since there were too many people go to travelling during that vacation. How could I make all of them happy when their oppions were so distincntive?

To sum up, it is true that others’ feelings will influence my motions. Yet, as far as I am concerned, I sometimes have to tolerate unhappiness to make others happy, and I cannot satisfy everyone, therefore, I cannot agree that learning to make others happy first will make ourselves happy.

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

好啦~   谢谢~
樾悦 发表于 2011-8-23 19:52

so ...that是可以倒装的，算强调句型吧~

foreverendlessUID：3134774

改好鸟

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

北美机经一篇：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from their own work.
Today’s people care more about their health, though they may have not enough time to do exercises or other things that interest them. Some argue that people will waste too much time if their hobbies are totally diferent from their careers, which goes agasint with my point of view.

Admittedly, for some people, such as professional athelets, they have already spent too much time on physical activities, thus sports that are very different from their own jobs seem not necessary. On the contrary, those sports sometimes add burden to them. Besides, so into their own work are some individuals that they just contribute all themselves into their careers and have little time to other hobbies.

Nevertheless, hobbies or sports that differ to people’s jobs access them to let stress out, which benefits to their careers and their health as well. After keeping working as an assistance for sevral days, my aunt used to spend half of Sunday to sleep, but still felt tierd after being waken up and became increasingly bored about her work. Several weeks ago, however, she choosed to play badminton or jog during leisure time, which truly refreashed her. Though she was sweaty every time after sports, she had more passion on her work since her pressure was gone during the sports. Of course, she became healthier due to regular exercises.

Futhermore, such hobbies offer an individual a wider vision on his work, even on world, for he does not focus on his own job only, which offer more opportuinities to his career. Assume that a investment company manger who was interested in biology. He did not intend to make mony through things he did for killing time, such as collecting insects, viewing news regarding to biological discovery, and discussing issues on biology on Internet. Yet once a project about biology medical was proposed and he became the lead of that project. He complished it efficiently owning to his extra knowledge about biology.

To sum up, even if we cannot deny that there are some minor disadvantages of having hobbies and physical activities that are different from people’s own jobs. I still hold the point that such hobbies and sports are necessary in general, since they decrease individuals’ stress and bring people boarder visions.

cedericaUID：2818833

Today’s people care more about their health, though they may have not enough time to do exercises or other things that interest them. Some argue that people will waste too much time if their hobbies are totally different from their careers, which goes against with my point of view.2 M9 ]* y0 Q+ Y

" V1 d# o+ F" i3 G1 P7 IAdmittedly, for some people, such as professional athletes, they have already spent too much time on physical activities, thus sports that are very different from their own jobs seem not necessary. On the contrary, those sports sometimes add burden to them. Besides, so into their own work are some individuals(这个是倒装句吗?可以这样用的?) that they just contribute all themselves into their careers and have little time to other hobbies.7 _$ N) R0 q, Q' i4 I2 \, p) r& I

* `+ E4 L. p: D) ]% B, |Nevertheless,
hobbies or sports that differ to people’s jobs access them to let stress out(这个表达感觉怪怪的，用can release stress from people就行了吧), which benefits to their careers and their health as well. After keeping working as an assistant for several days, my aunt used to spend half of Sunday to sleep(sleeping), but still felt tired after being waken up and became increasingly bored about her work. Several weeks ago, however, she desired to play badminton or jog during leisure time, which truly refreshed her. Though she was sweaty every time after sports, she had more passion on her work since her pressure was gone during the sports. Of course, she became healthier due to regular exercises.
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# I: l8 ~/ j1 E& P& vFurthermore, such hobbies offer an individual a wider vision on his work, even on world, for he does not focus on his own job only, which offer more opportunities to his career. Assume that an investment company manager who was interested in biology. He did not intend to make money through things he did for killing time, such as collecting insects, viewing news regarding to biological discovery, and discussing issues on biology on Internet. Yet once a project about biology medical was proposed and he became the lead of that project. He accomplished it efficiently owning to his extra knowledge about biology.
/ A" Q+ O: a- z  L( {# i' x, S5 k% R' H! S2 E3 h2 b  S
To sum up, even if we cannot deny that there are some minor disadvantages of having hobbies and physical activities that are different from people’s own jobs. I still hold the point that such hobbies and sports are necessary in general, since they decrease individuals’ stress and bring people boarder visions.
拼写蛮多错的，可以注意下，条理清晰，不过可以每段有主题句，那就更明确观点了。整体不错！加油，共同体努力！

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

9# cederica 谢谢，辛苦了。1，拼写错误我也很头疼，因为我的word没有纠错功能，有的是自己记错了单词拼写，有的是打字指头的反应速度的问题。2，那个倒装我确定可以这样用没错，起强调作用。3，有些用法估计比较chinglish，这个我也很头疼，只能是发现一个灭一个这样了。4，主题句的问题，我倾向于尽量不累赘，除非是rater没看懂我说什么，否则我真心怀疑提到主题的必要，因为基本上，除了让步段，我的两个正文段落都是分论点+例子+解析。

宁夏zoeUID：2847514

Today’s people care more about their health, though they may have not enough time to do exercises or other things that interest them. Some argue that people will waste too much time if their hobbies are totally diferent from their careers, which goes agasint with my point of view.
Admittedly, for some people, such as professional athelets, they have already spent too much time on physical activities, thus sports that are very different from their own jobs seem not necessary.(没看懂） On the contrary, those sports sometimes add burden to them. Besides, so into their own work are some individuals that they just contribute all themselves into their careers and have little time to other hobbies.(这段和题目的关系不是很大吧

Nevertheless, hobbies or sports that differ to people’s jobs access them to let stress out, which benefits to their careers and their health as well. After keeping working as an assistance for sevral days, my aunt used to spend half of Sunday to sleep, but still felt tierd after being waken up（被叫醒？waking up就可以了吧） and became increasingly bored about her work. Several weeks ago, however, she choosed to play badminton or jog during leisure time, which truly refreashed her. Though she was sweaty every time after sports, she had more passion on her work since her pressure was gone during the sports. Of course, she became healthier due to regular exercises.

Futhermore, such hobbies offer an individual a wider vision on his work, even on world, for he does not focus on his own job only, which offer more opportuinities to his career. Assume that a investment company manger who was（这边一般现在事就可以了吧 is) interested in biology. He did not intend to make mony through things he did for killing time, such as collecting insects, viewing news regarding to biological discovery, and discussing issues on biology on Internet. Yet once a project about biology medical was proposed and he became the lead of that project. He complished it efficiently owning to his extra knowledge about biology.

To sum up, even if we cannot deny that there are some minor disadvantages of having hobbies and physical activities that are different from people’s own jobs. I still hold the point that such hobbies and sports are necessary in general, since they decrease individuals’ stress and bring people boarder visions.
COMMENTS:文章的结构是完整的。但是拼写错误较多，LS的LS已经帮你改了，我就不改了。还有就是Chinglish的感觉很重。还有第二段我其实没怎么看懂。另外，论点应该更切题一些

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

修改完毕
sizukaada 发表于 2011-8-25 19:46

谢谢，我的word没有修正功能，这个拼写我很头疼呢:L。还有chinglish的问题，感觉很难改正。

萝卜须根多UID：3008387

北美机经一篇：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The best way for parents to teach their children about responsibility is to have them care for animals.

Generational gap seems to be a forever lasting issue in our society. Nowadays, parents are complaining that their children behave lacking of responsibility, thus the topic regarding how to teach children about this has been on the table. Some argue that the best way to solve this problem is to have kids look after animals. Yet I really doubt its necessarility for the reasons following.

Admittedly, caring for animals will cultivate the sense of resposibility of children. Assume that a naughty boy who always act against his parents and teachers. Once he owns a kitty and becomes attracted by it. He will learn to feed it, teach it and play with it druing the process. Gradually, he might turn to a responsible kid.

Nevertheless, this method will also bring about troubles. To begin with, it is not that safe for children to care animals, even thougth a pet that has been kept by its owner for several years may hurt its owner for some reasons. I have heard of some related news these years. Last week, a dog tore its owner’s nose when they were playing. Nobody knew why it became so crazy, but we were told that it had been always mild to human beings and its owner treated it well. Of course, such terrible things may not always take place, and if people understand basic knowledge on animals, they might can avoid those to some degree. Yet how much information does a child need before he looks after a little animal? Can we ensure that children will act whatever adults teach them to do? Besides, I consider that children will hurt little animals due to their lacking of reponsibility, thus for both of these groups’ own good, this means may not be carried out.

Furthermore, this solution will spend a lot of resources. Suppose that children are asked to take care of animals, then there must be engouh spaces to keep these animals, wokers to look after them when children absent, instrctors of children and so forth. All of these, of course, will cost a lot of money. Maybe, some will assert that they can keep pets in their own home, but we cannot force adults who dislike or are sensitive to aniamls or have little time to accompion kids to keep pets only to build their children’s responsibility.

To sum up, we cannot deny that having kids look after animals may cultivate them into responsible youth. Yet, as far as I am concerned, owing to the safety of children as well as animals and the money saving, this solution cannot be performed at best.

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

有个疑问，题目是about responsibility
文章的主体段 论述的是否是跑题？ 讲了养宠物的缺点，怎么和不会培养responsibility 有关了？