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[作文] MOUNIAN的作文贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-1-11 11:53:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 mounian 于 2012-1-11 22:35 编辑

14号就考了,求修改3

Since people care public recognition more than money, they will work harder to obtain public recognition even though there is no money given.

People are living in a social net with all kinds of relationship--relationship among friends, workmates, families and so on so forth. Therefore, it is reasonable that people care public recognition to a large extent. However, when comes to the topic whether people will work harder even without payment just to get public recognition, I am, and probably will always be one of those who disagree with the statement.

For one thing, it is not true that all people care public recognition more than money. In this highly developed world, life tends to be harder and harder for normal people, with the price of commodities grow to such a high standard. Just as the saying goes, money cannot buy everything, without money, people can buy nothing. As a result, rather than care public recognition more, people, in fact, care money more in order not to suffer from starvation.

For another thing, there are many other ways for people to get public recognition except working harder without the need to pay. Examples are available everywhere. Einstein gets the reputation from all around the world for his contribution in science. He is admired by the world not because he works hard even without pay, but for his attitude towards science as well as his intelligence. For us, there is no need to make such great contribution. Nevertheless, we can get the reputation by being honest, sincere as well as someone who is able to tell truth wherever unfairness happens. And we are on the solid ground to conclude that to get the public recognition, it is unnecessary to work harder even there is no money given.

What's more, in the modern days, people do hold the opinion that one should get payment if he/she worked hard. After all, it is unfair if hard-working ones would not get the reward they should gain. There may be worse result. That instead of recognize you as a good man, people would regard you as an idiot without the ability to protect your right. In addition, researches have shown that compared with working in additional hours, people would rather stay with family members, let alone working harder with no payment.

Considering what have been discussed above, I believe that it is important to gain public recognition. However, it is more important for every individual to live a happy life.

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沙发
发表于 2012-1-11 20:13:19 |只看该作者
感觉For another thing....这段有点展开不足的感觉~ 建议LZ调整一下论点为:work harder even without extra paid的人不是都想要得到public recognition, 他们有着其它的目的比如 fulfill their career ambitions or dreams,又或者是仅仅由于很喜欢自己从事的工作之类的~

LZ文章的结构很清晰~ 其它论点很好~ 给了我大启发啊~
以上个人意见~ LZ参考~ 希望能有帮助~

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板凳
发表于 2012-1-12 21:38:14 |只看该作者
今天上班事情实在是多,加了会儿班,sorry for late!
pls check the attachment
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地板
发表于 2012-1-13 06:05:49 |只看该作者

时差党,昨天一直没看到分组名单,只有今天上来看了改
sorry for late
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力求两个月二战飞跃

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