Issue104 同主题；想说的表达不出来。。请帮忙看看，多谢^_^

chenda8201UID: 171368

------题目------
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
------正文------

A culture can perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through various ways. While formal education is just one that importance will be overwhelming anymore as the development of our society.

A formal education, which is a normal way for the people's learning, is considered, by educators in modern time, from the primary school, through middle school, to common university. The students will be trained in this formal learning system which, will not only impart knowledge to them but also help them to build up the criteria of value, morality and some other ideas that a culture favors.
That is, the concept and value of a culture are put into the students' minds through the skill training and knowledge learning in formal education. In this way, the soul of the culture will be passed from one generation to generation as the culture legacy. Meanwhile, the draff of the culture, that is the ideas that the culture fears will be discredited in the system of the formal education because students in the school won’t learn those ideas that the culture around him or her agree. So, the spirit of a culture can be preserved and developed through formal education. To some extent, the formal education takes an important role in the survival of the culture.

However, one will most be influenced by his or her family in the attitude of the value of a culture. That is to say, a culture can through the family education to put its concept and value to the new generations. There is no denying that no one can be no relationship with his mother culture that is the culture which influence his or her family when he or she was a child in the family. In the family, the parents and maybe other relativities should always show the value of the culture that the family favors. Through the daily life and the communities with the members of the family, one should be influenced and accept the culture more or less. For instance, most parents will tell their child that something can be done and something should not be done for the rules of the culture. So, the culture can perpetuate its favor ideas and discredit its fear ideas via the informal education--family education.

In addition, a culture develops through the communications between people and the environment as well as people themselves nowadays. For example, the mass media today become a very powerful communicating tool to spread one's culture, such as the American culture, through all kinds of forms of the mess media, like TV report, magazine, news paper and movie as well as video game, set up its system of values of their culture all over the world. For instance, the Hollywood’s film that has become a useful way to spread the American culture to the world, which has built up a system of criteria that can evaluate the ideas that can be fit their culture or not. That impact is beyond what the formal education can make.

In sum, formal education is just one way that a culture keeps and develops its concept and value in this world nowadays. We should seriously considerate the development of a culture that may through informal education or non-formal education, such as family education or mass media, as well as formal education.

(559)


第二篇的issue104，跟着同主题写的。
列好提纲，再限时写。在45mins写出近500词，可惨不忍睹，都是重复罗嗦，论证很无力；后经的认真修改——到实在改不下去；还是这么烂，想说的话表达不到位，词汇贫乏。。。:L
请帮忙指点吧，多谢～^_^


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armstrongUID: 204256

It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
------正文------

A culture can perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through various ways. While formal education is just one that importance will be overwhelming anymore as the development of our society. 看来你是完全赞成了

A formal education, which is a normal way for the people's learning, is considered, by educators in modern time, from the primary school, through middle school, to common university ts 正式教育的重要性！. The students will be trained in this formal learning system which  will whose function is not only impart knowledge to them but also help them to build up entrench or establish the criteria of value, morality and some other ideas that a culture favors. That is, the concept and value of a culture are put into the students' minds inoculated with through the skill training ??j技能训练？？ and knowledge learning in formal education. In this way, the soul kernel of the culture will be passed inherited from one generation to generation as the culture legacy. Meanwhile, the draff of the culture, that is the ideas that the culture fears will be discredited in the system of the formal education because students in the school won’t learn those ideas that the culture around him or her agree ??读不太懂， 说真的我觉得你这一段是在来回说， 没有说到本质， 而且都是再说理， 没有例子， 我觉得你的填点例子把！！说真的例子不好找， 那就数二战， 德国战败， 以后学校remind student  Nazism 的危害？？？by the way ， 今天的antiracism 算不算？？？和你探讨一下， despotism ??. So, the spirit of a a??? culture can be preserved and developed through formal education. To some extent, the formal education takes an important role in the survival of the culture.

However, one will most be influenced by his or her family in the attitude of the value 价值的态度， 没这样表达得把 value 就行了 of a culture 开头也点一下， 从开头看你整篇写正是教育如和重要， 而大片府是说其他的！！. That is to say, a culture can through the family education to put its concept and value to the new generations. There is no denying that no one can be no relationship with his mother culture value  that is the culture which influence his or her family when he or she was a child in the family改改把很别扭. In the family, the parents and maybe other relativities should always show the value of the culture that the family favors. Through the daily life and the communities communication with the members of the family, one should be influenced and accept the culture more or less. For instance, most parents will tend to tell their child that something can be done and something should not be done for the rules of the culture some morality. So, the culture can perpetuate its favor ideas and discredit its fear ideas via the informal education--family education

In addition, a culture develops through the communications between people and the environment as well as people themselves nowadays.ts For example, the mass media today become a very powerful communicating tool to spread one's culture, such as the American culture, through all kinds of forms of the mess media, like TV report, magazine, news paper and movie as well as video game, set up its system of values of their culture all over the world. 你的开头根本没提出关于另外的channel, 而且再者一段中并没有表达出媒体的重要性次于formal education, 是不是最好点一下？ For instance, the Hollywood’s film that has become a useful way to spread the American culture to the world, which has built up a system of criteria that can evaluate the ideas that can be fit their culture or not. That impact is beyond what the formal education can make.看看你的开头overwhelming anymore as the development of our society 矛盾了把？？

In sum, formal education is just one way that a culture keeps and develops its concept and value in this world nowadays. We should seriously considerate the development of a culture that may through informal education or non-formal education  重了, such as family education or mass media, as well as formal education.

(559)
你这篇比我写的要好， 至少没跑题， 唯一感觉就是， 说得都是理， 没什没实际的例子， 说真的也不是太好找

culture
1 : CULTIVATION, TILLAGE
2 : the act of developing the intellectual and moral faculties especially by education
3 : expert care and training *beauty culture*
4 a : enlightenment and excellence of taste acquired by intellectual and aesthetic training  b : acquaintance with and taste in fine arts, humanities, and broad aspects of science as distinguished from vocational and technical skills
5 a : the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon man's capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations  b : the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group  c : the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes a company or corporation
6 : cultivation of living material in prepared nutrient media;  also   : a product of



我觉得是不是可以在谈谈science , arts            我觉得文化永久化不好，
你看看如果我们   在科学方面一城不变，  ，，，，，，，，人们还会接受
Copernicus and Darwin’s theory????????

这道体我写的不好， 谢谢你拍的那没狠，     我们可以在探讨一下，
我觉得我的文章是不是再把第一段和开头在improve 一下就比较好了？？

angelloverUID: 199157

有点困惑：
中心句看出作者应该是同意该观点的，可是只有body1的论述是支持中心观点的，其他两段貌似都是non-formal education 的作用，楼主到底是什么意思呢？


iissue104http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=297010&fpage=1&highlight=%2Bangellover

chenda8201UID: 171368

Originally posted by angellover at 2005-7-9 22:42
有点困惑：
中心句看出作者应该是同意该观点的，可是只有body1的论述是支持中心观点的，其他两段貌似都是non-formal education 的作用，楼主到底是什么意思呢？


iissue104http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ...

看我上一楼的帖子，即

[quote]
Originally posted by armstrong at 2005-7-9 19:24
While formal education is just one that importance will be overwhelming anymore as the development of our society.看来你是完全赞成了[color]

anymore的意思有“不再，再也不“，而any more的意思就是”再，还“
看来我还是把这第一段的最后一句改成：
While formal education is just one that importance will be no overwhelming any more as the development of our society.
这样我所持观点就是反对而不是赞同了～
这样与下文的就没有矛盾乐啊[color]

[/quote]

楼主的习作，我迟点或明天再看吧
现在手头上的其他任务还远未处理好～
最迟明天就看看你的吧～^_^







[ Last edited by chenda8201 on 2005-7-9 at 23:09 ]

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

先占座，晚点看

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
------正文------

A culture can perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through various ways. While formal education is just one that importance will be overwhelming anymore as the development of our society.看开头是部分支持，建议把其他方面也点一下

A formal education, which is a normal way for the去掉 people's learning, is considered, by educators in modern time, from the primary school, through middle school, to common university.不通啊，被认为怎么样呢？ The students will be trained in this formal learning system which, will not only impart knowledge to them but also help them to build up the criteria of value, morality and some other ideas that a culture favors.
That is, the concept and value of a culture are put into the students' minds through the skill training and knowledge learning in formal education. In this way, the soul of the culture will be passed from one generation to generation as the culture legacy. Meanwhile, the draff of the culture, that is the ideas that the culture fears will be discredited in the system of the formal education because students in the school won’t learn those ideas that the culture around him or her agree. So, the spirit of a culture can be preserved and developed through formal education. To some extent, the formal education takes an important role in the survival of the culture.论证上不够有力度，只是说学生在教育中学到了什么，不能接触到什么，这实际上是你的观点呀，为什么会这样才是你要论证的重心

However, one will most be influenced by his or her family in the attitude of the value of a culture. That is to say, a culture can through the family education to put its concept and value to the new generations. There is no denying that no one can be no relationship with his mother culture that is the culture which influence his or her family when he or she was a child in the family.mother culture和 family influence没有直接联系，一个家庭的价值观有可能跟所处社会的价值观不同 In the family, the parents and maybe other relativities should always show the value of the culture that the family favors. Through the daily life and the communities with the members of the family, one should be influenced and accept the culture more or less. For instance, most parents will tell their child that something can be done and something should not be done for the rules of the culture. So, the culture can perpetuate its favor ideas and discredit its fear ideas via the informal education--family education.

In addition, a culture develops through the communications between people and the environment as well as people themselves nowadays. For example, the mass media today become a very powerful communicating tool to spread one's culture, such as the American culture, through all kinds of forms of the mess media, like TV report, magazine, news paper and movie as well as video game, set up its system of values of their culture all over the world. For instance, the Hollywood’s film that has become a useful way to spread the American culture to the world, which has built up a system of criteria that can evaluate the ideas that can be fit their culture or not. That impact is beyond what the formal education can make.这段针对媒体，没啥说的

In sum, formal education is just one way that a culture keeps and develops its concept and value in this world nowadays. We should seriously considerate the development of a culture that may through informal education or non-formal education, such as family education or mass media, as well as formal education.总体感觉对于开头中未提到的其他方面下笔过多，而对题目中的formal education没有做出有力的回应，建议论证的上可以在教育上多下笔墨。楼主与我是广外的战友哦，一起加油！！！

(559)

shanekunUID: 2104358

A culture can perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through various ways. While formal education is just one that importance will be overwhelming anymore as the development of our society.<<<among which the formal education paly a extremely and primarily important role because it is crucial to the development of a society>>>

A formal education, which is a normal way for the people's learning, is considered, by educators in modern time, from the primary school, through middle school, to common university.<<<感觉这句子写的有点碎了 这里强调过程 ，可以单列一句而不包在从句里吗？>>> The students will be trained in this formal learning system which, will not only impart knowledge to them but also help them to build up the criteria of value, morality and some other ideas that a culture favors.
That is, <<<In another word,>>>the concept and value of a culture are put into the students' minds through the skill training and knowledge learning in formal education. In this way, the soul<<<essense>>> of the culture will be passed from one generation to generation as the culture legacy. Meanwhile, the draff of the culture, that is the ideas that the culture fears will be discredited in the system of the formal education because students in the school won’t learn those ideas that the culture around him or her agree. So, the spirit of a culture can be preserved and developed through formal education. To some extent, the formal education takes an important role in the survival of the culture.<<<感觉这一段有 restatement嫌疑：）不过限时的时候大家好像都有这样的倾向 》》》

However, one will most be influenced by his or her family in the attitude of the value of a culture. That is to say, a culture can through the family education to put its concept and value to the new generations. There is no denying that no one can be <<<has>>>no relationship with his mother culture that is the culture which influence his or her family when he or she was a child in the family<<<could be deleted>>>. In the family, the parents and maybe other relativities should always show the value of the culture that the family favors. Through the daily life and the communities <<<communication>>>with the members of the family, one should be influenced and accept the mainstream value of the culture more or less. For instance, most parents will tell their child that something can be done and something should not be done for the rules of the culture. So, the culture can perpetuate its favor ideas and discredit its fear ideas via the informal education--family education.

In addition, a culture develops through the communications between people and the environment as well as people themselves nowadays.<<<这个地方可以用意下 prevailing of mass media and propagonda,会不会有快又好看？>>> For example, the mass media today become a very powerful communicating tool to spread one's culture, such as the American culture, through all kinds of forms of the <<<chanel>>>mess media, like TV report, magazine, news paper and movie as well as video game, <<<disseminat>>>set up its system of values of their culture all over the world. For instance,<<<Just imaging teh impact and adolescents' fascination a out>>> the Hollywood’s film that has become a useful way to spread the American culture to the world, which has built up a system of criteria that can evaluate the ideas that can be fit their culture or not. That impact is beyond what the formal education can make.

In sum, formal education is just one way that a culture keeps and develops its concept and value in this world nowadays. We should seriously considerate the development of a culture that may through informal education or non-formal education, such as family education or mass media, as well as formal education.<<<这里想要强调的是 formal还是informal的影响？不如就写的简单明确一点 >>>


我超时了，这是第二篇， 用了70分种，汗，大家帮忙处处注意，怎么快速实现限时啊！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=297946

chenda8201UID: 171368

多谢指点～:)