Issue103 机经 pp3限时第一篇

zjcq2002UID：2113577

103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."



The history is an important book to us in which we can find a lot of experience of the predecessors and learn from their failures and success to correct our own ways to solve problems. However, some people claims that only the parts relevant  to our daily life of the history study is essential and valuable, which ignores the other parts that may have the further influences. And in this case, I fully disagree with the author's assertion.

The study of history can help us know the things that happened in the past, and make the just and accurate decisions if we meet the same situation in our time, which is the function of the study of the history which is related with our daily life. For instance, we make use of the fire everyday to cook because the ancestor has proved that meat or rice would be taster when cooked. And at the same time, we avoid our children to catch it because the numerous samples from our ancestors that it is easily hurt us and can cause a damage to our properties with the careless use of it. This is what we learn from the history and benefit us in the same way and in this kind of situation, we certainly ignore the irrelevant parts to our life of the history because it is far away insofar as the war, the thrive and the destroy of the dynasty so long ago and the thoughts and minds of the ancestors.

However, these things are not as useless as ordinary people concerned and in some cases, we can benefit from them much more than the way we use fire, make paper or so on. The study of the war is essential lesson in many universities or colleges even though they are not special military ones, because the study of the causes, effects and the influences of the war can teach us a profound lesson that the world's melody is the peace. Remember the statistics of the lives and values lost in the war and the shape economical and social influences it brings to the next twenty or even more years, we can recognize how detrimental the war is. We are lucky ones because there is no war in our daily life, however, which does not mean that no war exists in the world. With the existence of the status difference and the power, the war will exist forever. In this case, if we remember the negative effect of the war, we will make great effort to avoid the war and pursue the peace in our life. Though war is not so easy to be avoided because it is a bi-side problem, at least we try our best. Such things look the same while we study the flourish and the extinct causes of the ancient dynasty in which we can learn that the dictatorship is not perpetuate and will be overwhelmed by the public. Also, through the many pieces of the history we can learn that it is the people not the leader who push the historical wheel and lead the society to the future in the obscure.

In sum, the study of history is a whole work which contains the relevant samples and the irrelevant ones to our daily life. If we take the former ones in to consideration while rejecting or ignoring the latter ones, we will have an unbroad view of the future and which will cause serious problems.

zjcq2002UID：2113577

没人拍吗？没人拍吗？自顶一下，这两天正处于瓶颈期，Issue作文很明显的靠例子生硬的堆砌来达到字数，自我感觉缺乏逻辑性，题目理解老是出现偏差，对主题的论证不够深入，在拼写和语法（尤其是时态上）问题相当大，还有就是限时问题，就算写得完也是掐着时间的，根本来不及改。眼看不到9天就要上法场了，那个心慌慌啊......
请哪位有经验的大大或者是版主指点一下迷津吧，我今天写完Issue138后，郁闷得连午饭晚饭都吃不下了

shengzhongbellUID：199083

Issue103 机经 pp3限时第一篇

103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."



The history is an important book to us in which we can find a lot of experience of the predecessors and learn from their failures and success to correct our own ways to solve problemsand solve our problems. However, some people claims that only the parts relevant  to our daily life of the history study is essential and valuable, which ignores the other parts that may have the further influences. And in this case, I fully disagree with the author's assertion.开头不错，言简意赅

The study of history can help us know the things that happened in the past, and make the just and accurate decisions if we meet the same situation in our time, which is the function of the study of the history which is related with our daily life句子累赘，太多which. For instance, we make use of the fire everyday to cook because the ancestor has proved that meat or rice would be taster when cooked. And at the same time, we avoid our children to catch it because the numerous samples from our ancestors that it is easily hurt us and can cause a damage to our properties with the careless use of it玩火尿炕是常识吧，这例子不太恰当，不过我也经常举些不过紧要的例子. This is what we learn from the history and benefit us in the same way and in this kind of situation, we certainly ignore the irrelevant parts to our life of the history because it is far away insofar as the war, the thrive and the destroy of the dynasty so long ago and the thoughts and minds of the ancestors.

However, these things are not as useless as ordinary people concerned and in some cases, we can benefit from them much more than the way we use fire, make paper or so on. The study of the war is essential lesson in many universities or colleges even though they are not special military ones, because the study of the causes, effects and the influences of the war can teach us a profound lesson that the world's melody is the peace. Remember the statistics of the lives and values lost in the war and the shape economical and social influences it brings to the next twenty or even more years, we can recognize how detrimental the war is. We are lucky ones because there is no war in our daily lifehow about the war in iraq? Even if there is now war, you’d better use in our time or era, however, which does not mean that no war exists in the world. With the existence of the status difference and the power, the war will exist forever. In this case, if we remember the negative effect of the war, we will make great effort to avoid the war and pursue the peace in our life. Though war is not so easy to be avoided句子不通畅 because it is a bi-side problemyou can say it is a double-edged sward, at least we try our best. Such things look the same while we study the flourish and the extinct causes of the ancient dynasty in which we can learn that the dictatorship is not perpetuate and will be overwhelmed by the public. Also, through the many pieces of the history we can learn that it is the people not the leader who push the historical wheel and lead the society to the future in the obscure.第二段的中心不太集中

In sum, the study of history is a whole work which contains the relevant samples and the irrelevant ones to our daily life. If we take the former ones in to consideration while rejecting or ignoring the latter ones, we will have an unbroad view of the future and which will cause serious problems. 结尾还可以

[ Last edited by shengzhongbell on 2005-7-16 at 11:52 ]

shengzhongbellUID：199083

急什么，比大多数人强了

edgarluUID：203648

The history is an important book to us in which we can find a lot of experience of the predecessors and learn from their failures and success to correct our own ways to solve problems. However, some people claims that only the parts relevant  to our daily life of the history study is essential and valuable, which ignores the other parts that may have the further influences. And in this case, I fully disagree with the author's assertion.

The study of history can help us know the things that happened in the past, and make the just and accurate decisions if we meet the same situation in our time, which is the function of the study of the history which is related with our daily life. For instance, we make use of the fire everyday to cook because the ancestor has proved that meat or rice would be taster when cooked. And at the same time, we avoid our children to catch it because the numerous samples from our ancestors that it is easily hurt us and can cause a damage to our properties with the careless use of it. This is what we learn from the history and benefit us in the same way and in this kind of situation, we certainly ignore the irrelevant parts to our life of the history because it is far away insofar as the war, the thrive and the destroy of the dynasty so long ago and the thoughts and minds of the ancestors. [我觉得这两个例子不太好，虽然是跟生活关系很大，但是属于太过广义的history，其实就也是experience，是不需要research和study就能知道的。]

However, these things are not as useless as ordinary people concerned and in some cases, we can benefit from them much more than the way we use fire, make paper or so on. The study of the war is essential lesson in many universities or colleges even though they are not special military ones, because the study of the causes, effects and the influences of the war can teach us a profound lesson that the world's melody is the peace. Remember the statistics of the lives and values lost in the war and the shape economical and social influences it brings to the next twenty or even more years, we can recognize how detrimental the war is. We are lucky ones because there is no war in our daily life, however, which does not mean that no war exists in the world. With the existence of the status difference and the power, the war will exist forever. In this case, if we remember the negative effect of the war, we will make great effort to avoid the war and pursue the peace in our life. Though war is not so easy to be avoided because it is a bi-side problem, at least we try our best. Such things look the same while we study the flourish and the extinct causes of the ancient dynasty in which we can learn that the dictatorship is not perpetuate and will be overwhelmed by the public. Also, through the many pieces of the history we can learn that it is the people not the leader who push the historical wheel and lead the society to the future in the obscure. 战争的例子举得很好，而且叙述得相当出色

In sum, the study of history is a whole work which contains the relevant samples and the irrelevant ones to our daily life. If we take the former ones in to consideration while rejecting or ignoring the latter ones, we will have an unbroad view of the future and which will cause serious problems.

红字部分是错误用法和不太合适的用法，文中单复数时态语态错误未标出
虽然只有两个观点，但篇幅够了，道理也讲到位了，也未尝不可，有机会我也尝试一下这种写法，拼凑三个观点出来还不如focus在两个上面写写好，确实是一种合算的方案。受教。
加油，努力

zjcq2002UID：2113577

shengzhongbell & edgarlu  受教于两位了，首先非常感谢你们对我的拍砖，大家对我的帮助是我进步的原动力！第二段的例子，诚如两位所说，太普遍化了，就像 edgarlu  说的常识性问题是不需要对 history 进行学习的。不过我当时也没想到有其他的，就这样写上去了。但是，现在看了两位的拍砖，仔细思索下，发现要找一个既不常识又能支持这论点的例子还真不好办，不知道两位大大有没有什么好的建议？
另外，我还想就这贴问一个困扰我已久的小白问题：我以前看过一个帖子，也看过一些例文，感觉像是ETS对长句有偏好，于是我在努力地向这方向堆砌，不过，刚才有大大提到了一个文章晦涩的问题，所以我想再问一下ETS在这方面的喜好是如何的？谢谢！

ZEALPALADINUID：192560

如果是让步的话，应该把标志词明确点，比如admittedly, I concede等，第二段的TS就不是很明确

只有两个BODY也未尝不可，但第三段中只是举了战争的例子，给人感觉有些单薄，如果能展开谈就更好了，比如科学，政治等方面。

另外关于长句的问题，我看的参考应该最好是长短句结合，一味的长句效果不如间或夹杂少量短句。

以上是点个人意见，第一次限时写成这样不错了，加油！

zjcq2002UID：2113577

抱抱 ZEALPALADIN，谢谢~
我会好好记住的：）

ardorousUID：2115432

就你提的问题，第二段，就past and present in daily life 举例，其实以我拙见，the  cause of pollution  partly due to our daily life , with the experience of contemporary    life , our follower may not take the mistake we made .这是反面的
正面 your own experience is definitely your daily life , why not use your examples ?历史应该分两个层面吧，个人的过去不是历史吗
仅做参考啊

ardorousUID：2115432

不是一直是提倡长短句结合的吗，短句很有优势的，比如说可在中插入however, nevertheless, otherwise 等，增强你文章的逻辑性，长句主要用来体现你对句式的把握。

西西西西UID：186753

zjcq2002UID：2113577

谢谢ardorous 和西西西西，觉得现在最大的问题就是：我的分析能力不强，所以每次都是写出一个TS，再抛出一堆例子......汗，应该算是凑字数的写法吧

donnerUID：202438