issue130 麻烦兄弟姐妹看看：） 第一次限写的

abigredUID: 154473

郁闷啊～～第一次限时写issue，大概超时10多分钟吧，字数倒是不少了，但是写着写着感觉离题了。果然限时就无法写出好句子来了～～
大家拼命拍吧～～有压力点才能进步

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized, but unfortunately, he also concludes that we have no idea about how to raise children to benefit the society. While I agree that children can determine the future of our society to some extent, I thing both children and the adults can influence how the society will be. And in my opinion, by collecting experiences through thousands of years, we human beings do know some effective ways to raise children to better devoted to the development of the society.

To begin with, as we always emphasize, children are the future of our society. because they will grow up to be workers, experts in all kinds of specialism, and how well they are educated today will greatly influence the society. However, we should always keep in mind that the development of the society is a like a river—continous but not disperse, and the culture is passed down by generation and generation. The youth of today are living in the society that built by the adults and our precursors. The adults, who is mature and full of experience, can benefit the children by setting role models, place influence on the children by teaching them by words and acts. On the other hand, the children are more likely to follow their precedures, like choosing their interests, pursing their parents’ careers and so on. While the adults lay the foundation on which the society thrive, the children take the advantage to impel the progress of the society.So both the children and the adults should be considered to be the determinant of the society’s destiny.

Secondly, we have already known how to raise our children to be the positive element of society’s development. Even from the ancient time, people realized the tasks to raise our children is essential. Take Aristotle for example. He insisted that arts was the most effective way to raise our children, for the reason that arts can benefit children by inspiring their love to the good things and cherishing the valuable things. And now, in this modern and civilized socitey, we know that democracy should be included in raising the children, especially after the painful experience of world war two. We try to raise our children by implanting the spirit of democracy—every one is created equal, no matter men or women, black or white, freedom to expression, freedom to association, freedom to publication and the like. By doing this, our children can be imnune from haste, cruelity, discrimination, which are essential elements of creating a peaceful, harmony and stable society.

Moreover, education is recognized as one of the most effective way to raise our children to more civilized persons. Education does not limit to formal education at school, but from all aspects of society. while at home, for better or worse, what their parents behave are always a guide for their children. Take the example of MrsJuli, who won the chemics nobel prizes twice. Her daughter, who also won the chemics noble prize, was impressed by her mother’s enthusiasm to work, and decided to devoted to chemics as her mother, in which earned her success.  No one will deny how greatly our formal education benefit us. The children not only learn knowledge at school, like mathamatics, physics and such, but, more important, the way of critical and logical thinking, which serves as a tool for their further development.

To sum up, we might safely conclude that the destiny of our society, is not merely determined by children of today, but also the adults, who can contribute a lot to the society, no matter now or in the future. And luckily, we have already how some principles to raise our children to be well-rounded persons, including the importance of democracy, love to our nation, devoting to our work and so on. And all of those will help bring a better society.

htpengUID: 2115584

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized, but unfortunately, he also concludes that we have no idea about how to raise children to benefit the society. While I agree that children can determine the future of our society to some extent, I thing both children and the adults can influence how the society will be. And in my opinion, by collecting experiences through thousands of years, we human beings do know some effective ways to raise children to bebetter devoted to the development of the society.

To begin with, as we always emphasize,尽量不要用主观性的词如we吧,as always emphasized children are the future of our society. because they will grow up to be workers, experts in all kinds of specialism, and how well they are educated today will greatly influence the society. However, we should always keep in mind that the development of the society is alike a river—continous but not disperse, and the culture is passed down by generation and generation. The youth of today are living in the society that built by the adults and our precursors. The adults, who is mature and full of experience, can benefit the children by setting role models, place influence on the children by teaching them by words and acts. 总觉得这句话与本段主题无太大关系,倒不如直接陈述成年人对社会的作用On the other hand, the children are more likely to follow their precedures, like choosing their interests, pursuing their parents’ careers and so on. While the adults lay the foundation on which the society thrive, the children take the advantage to impel the progress of the society.So both the children and the adults should be considered to be the determinant of the society’s destiny.

Secondly, we have already known how to raise our children to be the positive element of society’s development.这个主题句太过绝对了吧,加些修饰性副词会好些 Even from the ancient time, people realized the tasks to raise our children is essential. Take Aristotle for example. He insisted that arts was the most effective way to raise our children, for the reason that arts can benefit children by inspiring their love to the good things and cherishing the valuable things. And now, in this modern and civilized socitey, we know that democracy should be included in raising the children, especially after the painful experience of world war two. We try to raise our children by implanting the spirit of democracy—everyone is created equal, no matter men or women, black or white, freedom to expression, freedom to association, freedom to publication and the like. By doing this, our children can be imnune from haste, cruelity, discrimination, which are essential elements of creating a peaceful, harmony and stable society. 不愧是学人文的啊，我就绝对写不出这样的观点来。.....

Moreover, education is recognized as one of the most effective way to raise our children to more civilized persons. Education does not limit to formal education at school, but from all aspects of society. while at home, for better or worse, what their parents behave is always a guide for their children. Take the example of MrsJuli, who won the chemics nobel prizes twice. Her daughter, who also won the chemics noble prize, was impressed by her mother’s enthusiasm to work, and decided to devoted to chemics as her mother, in which earned her success.  No one will deny how greatly our formal education benefit us. The children not only learn knowledge at school, like mathamatics, physics and such, but, more important, the way of critical and logical thinking, which serves as a tool for their further development.

To sum up, we might safely conclude that the destiny of our society, is not merely determined by children of today, but also the adults, who can contribute a lot to the society, no matter now in the present会不会好些or in the future. And luckily, we have already khow some principles to raise our children to be well-rounded persons, including the importance of democracy, loveloyalty? to our nation, devoting to our work and so on. And all of those will help bring a better society.

总的来说写的很好了,句子的运用也很的心应手,超时10分钟600字已经很不错了,看得我心虚哎.....

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130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized, but unfortunately, he also concludes that we have no idea about how to raise children to benefit the society. While I agree that children can determine the future of our society to some extent, I thingthink both children and the adults can influence how the society will be. And in my opinion, by collecting experiences through thousands of years, we human beings do know some effective ways to raise children to better devoted to the development of the society.

To begin with, as we always emphasize, children are the future of our society. because they will grow up to be workers, experts in all kinds of specialismfields, and how wellwell去掉 they are educated today will greatly influence the society. However, we should always keep in mind that the development of the society is a like a river—continous but not disperse, and the culture is passed down by generation and generation. The youth of today are living in the society that built by the adults and our precursors. The adults, who isare mature and full of experience, can benefit the children by setting role models, place influence on the children by teaching them by words and acts. On the other hand, the children are more likely to follow their precedures, like choosing their interests, pursing their parents’ careers and so on. While the adults lay the foundation on which the society thrive, the children take the advantage to impel the progress of the society.So both the children and the adults should be considered to be the determinant of the society’s destiny.

Secondly, we have already known how to raise our children to be the positive element of society’s development. Even from the ancient time, people realized the tasks to raise our children is essential. Take Aristotle for example. He insisted that arts was the most effective way to raise our children, for the reason that arts can benefit children by inspiring their love to the good things and cherishing the valuable things. And now, in this modern and civilized socitey, we know that democracy should be included in raising the children, especially after the painful experience of world war twoWorld War II. We try to raise our children by implanting the spirit of democracy—every one is created equal, no matter men or women, black or white, freedom to expression, freedom to association, freedom to publication and the like. By doing this, our children can be imnune from haste, cruelity, discrimination, which are essential elements of creating a peaceful, harmony and stable society.这个定语从句中which指代haste, cruelity, discrimination，如此说来你定语从句的意思好像用反了。

Moreover, education is recognized as one of the most effective way to raise our children to more civilized persons. Education does not limit to formal education at school, but from all aspects of society. while at home, for better or worse, what their parents behave are always a guide for their children. Take the example of MrsJuli, who won the chemics nobel prizes twice. Her daughter, who also won the chemics noble prize, was impressed by her mother’s enthusiasm to work, and decided to devoted to chemics as her mother, in which earned her success.  No one will deny how greatly our formal education benefit us. The children not only learn knowledge at school, like mathamatics, physics and such, but, more important, the way of critical and logical thinking, which serves as a tool for their further development.

To sum up, we might safely conclude that the destiny of our society, is not merely determined by children of today, but also the adults, who can contribute a lot to the society, no matter now or in the future. And luckily, we have already how some principles to raise our children to be well-rounded persons, including the importance of democracy, love to our nation, devoting to our work and so on. And all of those will help bring a better society.
前两端写的很好，论证充分。感觉你可以加入一些让步的成分，比如现代教育还是有缺陷的，个人觉得这样可以对ETS显示你对这个issue 题目的complexity有所了解。感觉你的moreover这段好像和题目有点脱节，下面的论证和你的TS感觉不是在说同一个东西。