argument76 同主题

yufengfeng9UID: 197696

我来啦  这个是7.13写过的
第三次碰上写过的题目拉 赫赫

76The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.
'A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin.'



In this argument the author concludes that Luxess could exert an truly positive infuence on ameliorating the situation of skin. To support this recommendation the author cites a survey shows that people partaking in it obtained a considerable amelioration of their facial skin. However, the author commits a series of fallacies which will be discussed below.

Firstly, whether the sample size is sufficient enough and to represent all the people who use Luxess is open to doubt. The author does not provide exactly data showing how many people are involved in the study. There are possibilities that the number of the volunteers is merely ten percent or even less of the Luxess users. Hence, the survey lends little credibility to the conclusion that renders it unpersuasive.

Secondly, the samples of the survey should be statistically reliable, however, from the survey we find little sign of such procedures for sampling, thus doubting whether the respondents constitute a sufficiently large sample so as to be representative of the overall persons who use Luxess. Perhaps people who involve themselves in the experiments have better conditions of skin formerly, thus they could not stand for a majority of the persons using Luxess. Moreover, one month is too short a time that it carries little reliability. It is possible that the problems of using Luxess might disclose after a long period of time while in one month it seems have improvement indeed. In short, it is unwarranted to ascribe the amelioration of skin condition to the use of Luxess without ruling out all the possibilities.

Thirdly, even though the volunteers participated in the study are representative enough to represent all the Luxess users, the author falsely assumes that it is the use of Luxess give rise to the improvement of the skin. What if there are other factors that exert a positive influence on their facial skin during the period of study? There are far more causes such as flesh air, the soap they used, inherited factors, and so on. ？？？？？？?In one word, the author commits a fallacy of simply assuming the improvement results from the using of Luxess without exclude all the possible influences which might disturb the accuracy of the result.

In conclusion, the argument is sabotaged by a vague data provided by the study which is not representative enough and a dubious assumption. I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the conclusion until the author could provide precise data showing after using Luxess the skin condition is improved or not and whether Luxess bring about the improvement of skin or not.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-21 at 17:35 ]

aimei2005UID: 2119194

语言很好，我要向你学习.我也是开始学写作,可是老表达不清楚,哎.

azleaUID: 192456

In this argument the author concludes that Luxess could exert an truly positive infuence on ameliorating the situation of skin. To support this recommendation the author cites a survey shows that people partaking in it obtained a considerable amelioration of their facial skin. However, the author commits a series of fallacies which will be discussed below.

Firstly, whether the sample size is sufficient enough and可删去 to represent all the people who use Luxess is open to doubt. The author does not provide exactly data showing how many people are involved in the study. There are possibilities单数就好 that the number of the volunteers is merely ten percent or even less of the Luxess users.我觉得10%不算少了，如果user很多的话。 Hence, the survey lends little credibility to the conclusion that renders it unpersuasive.

Secondly, the samples of the survey should be statistically reliable, however, from the survey we find little sign of such procedures for sampling, thus doubting whether the respondents constitute a sufficiently large sample so as to be representative of the overall persons who use Luxess.thus后面的这个句子似乎不完整，这一段应该是说有没有代表性的问题，怎么又说到第一段的sample够不够large的问题了呢？ Perhaps people who involve themselves in the experiments have better conditions of skin formerly, thus they could not stand for a majority of the persons using Luxess. Moreover, one month is too short a time that it carries little reliability. It is possible that the problems of using Luxess might disclose after a long period of time while in one month it seems have improvement indeed. 这一点说得好In short, it is unwarranted to ascribe the amelioration of skin condition to the use of Luxess without ruling out all the possibilities.

Thirdly, even though the volunteers participated in the study are representative enough to represent all the Luxess users, the author falsely assumes that it is the use of Luxess give rise to the improvement of the skin. What if there are other factors that exert a positive influence on their facial skin during the period of study? There are far more causes such as flesh air, the soap they used, inherited factorsflesh air和inherited factors是不是所有volunteer都一样呢？如果是随机的话，样本足够大，足够有代表性就可以抵消这些差异。感觉这两个例子不是很合适。可以把主要攻击点集中在soap上, and so on. In one word, the author commits a fallacy of simply assuming the improvement results from the using of Luxess without exclude all the possible influences which might disturb the accuracy of the result.

In conclusion, the argument is sabotaged by a vague data provided by the study which is not representative enough and a dubious assumption. I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the conclusion until the author could provide precise data showing after using Luxess the skin condition is improved or not and whether Luxess bring about the improvement of skin or not.and连接的两个并列成分有什么不同么？

楼主这篇文章写得很不错呀，我要好好学习^_^
首先使用词和表达的多样性，感觉很丰富，有些用法我还第一次见呢，学到不少。
逻辑方面，三段的攻击点都还不错，有些我觉得还不是很合适的地方都写了。

yufengfeng9UID: 197696

多谢楼上拉  把你的文章发上来大家互改共同进步阿