issue136 有点晚 求互拍

alcestisUID: 2101945

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."


提纲：
1 人们的选择的确受到种种条件的限制（社会环境）
2 个人的努力可帮扩充选择余地，达成选择的目标
3 当今社会全球化、高容忍度给人们更多选择的空间

正文

Whether choices are abundant in our life is a complex issue, over which heated debates in human history seldom stop. I concede that people can not always choose what they really want, however a circumstance without choice is very, very rare. In order to evaluate this contention it is necessary to examine the two factors that affect people’s choices---the ability to choose and the things can be chosen.

Everyone is born, brought up and live in different situations, which determines their different ability in making choices and the limited resources they can choose from. Consider a child who is gifted in music, but whose family is very poor and cannot afford any kind of formal musical training. There may be a lot of famous musicians in the city which the child is living, that is, abundant of choices as musical training, but the economical condition of the family restrains the ability of making such choices, and the training can not be received. At the same time, people may face the situation that the resource of choices is limited. For children living in remote villages, their choices of education, ways of lives, and future occupations is apparently much less than the children who live in big cities. So, it is reasonable to say that people’s choices are restricted.  

However, restriction in choices does not mean no choice, through effort and endeavor, people can extend the ability in choice and finally realize the goal they chose. Many people believe that choice is merely an illusion, and what people called choice is just a fated action never under the control of oneself. It is cowardice and sloth that blind people’s eyes and make them ignore the possible choices. Lincoln, whose father was an unlettered carpenter, led a hard early life, which was occupied by hunting, farming, fishing, doing chores and had less than a full year of formal education in his entire life. However, Lincoln never gave up learning and in 1847 represented Illinois in the U.S. House of Representative, and later became the president of the United States. This example illustrates that choice is a action base on one’s volition, will and desire. There are always choices, and the path to which is effort and endeavor.  

Further, nowadays, globalization creates more opportunities for people to choose, and tolerance, which has been accepted as a common concept for modern society, allows people to choose more freely. Firstly, thanks to globalization, people can choose from a relatively larger range than ever before, without the limitation in one country and one society. America, a country characterized by dynamism, energy, aggressiveness and forward movement, and is believed to be a land where the dreams comes true, provides more opportunities and choices than most other societies. Globalization enables people to come to America, make their choices and realize their dreams. Secondly, with the development of the society, more and more people keep an open mind and tolerance others choices which they do not truly agree with. Other people’s view, or social pressure, has long been a restraint when people are making a choice. Without such restraint, people can choose easier out of their own will.

There are usually choices, although sometimes limited, provided by the society and realized by people’s own endeavor.

mrealUID: 201732

issue136 有点晚 求互拍

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."


提纲：
1 人们的选择的确受到种种条件的限制（社会环境）
2 个人的努力可帮扩充选择余地，达成选择的目标
3 当今社会全球化、高容忍度给人们更多选择的空间

正文

Whether choices are abundant in our life is a complex issue, over which heated debates in human history seldom stop. I concede that people cannot下面还有类似，就不标了~ always choose what they really want, however似乎这样逻辑关系不太对吧~ a circumstance without choice is very, very rare. In order to evaluate this contention it is necessary to examine the two factors that affect people’s choices---the ability to choose and the things can be chosen.

Everyone is born, brought up and live in different situations, which determines their different ability in making choices and the resources to what extent决定了有限的资源不太通顺吧 they can choose from. Consider a child who is gifted in music, but whose family is very poor and cannot afford any kind of formal musical training. There may be a lot of famous musicians in the city where the child is living, that is, abundant of删 choices for musical training, but the economical condition of the family restrains their ability of making such choices, and the training can not be received. At the same time, people may face the situation that the resource of choices is limited. For children living in remote villages, their choices of education, ways of lives, and future occupations is apparently much less than the children who live in big cities. So, it is reasonable to say that people’s choices are restricted.  

However, restriction in choices does not mean no choice, through effort and endeavor, people can extend指平面扩张吧？能力增长是不是用tone up或更简单的improve??the ability in choice and finally realize the goal they chose. Many people believe that choice is merely an illusion, and what people called choice is just a fated action never under the control of oneself. Nevertheless,It is cowardice and sloth that blind people’s eyes and make them ignore the possible choices. Lincoln,for instance, whose father was an unlettered carpenter, led a hard early life, which was occupied by hunting, farming, fishing, doing chores ,and had less than a full删 year of formal education in his entire life. However, Lincoln never gave up learning and in 1847 represented Illinois in the U.S. House of Representative, and later became the president of the United States. This example illustrates that choice is a action base on one’s volition, will and desire. There are always choices, and the path to which is built with effort and endeavor.  

Further, nowadays, globalization creates more opportunities for people to choose, and tolerance, which has been accepted as a common concept for modern society, allows people to choose more freely. Firstly, thanks to globalization, people can choose from a relatively larger range than ever before, without the limitation in one country or one society. America, a country characterized by dynamism, energy, aggressiveness and forward movement你想说的是不是advancement啊？感觉向前运动很物理的感觉~, and is believed to be a land where the dreams comes true, provideing more opportunities and choices than most other不这么说吧？~ societies. Globalization enables people to come to America, make their choices and realize their dreams.Secondly, with the development of the society, more and more people keep an open mind and tolerance others choices which they do not truly agree with这句话不太通吧. Other people’s view, or social pressure, has long been a restraint when people are making a choice. Without such restraint, people can choose easier within their own will.

There are always choices, although sometimes limited, provided by the society and realized by people’s own endeavor.

我只是说说看法，有些句子写的挺好的，只是句子之间的关系表述的不清楚，而且连接词最好能用一些~~~

有空帮我也看看啊，谢谢啦！

skaterUID: 2116878

Whether choices are abundant （我一直想知道到底把讨论“whether the absence of choice is rare”写成 “choices are abundant “算不算跑题）in our life is a complex issue, over which heated debates in human history seldom stop. I concede that people can not always choose what they really want, （desire）however a circumstance without choice is very, very rare. In order to evaluate this contention it is necessary to examine the two factors that affect people’s choices---the ability to choose and the things can be chosen.

Everyone is born, brought up and live in different situations, which determines their different ability in making choices and the limited resources they can choose from. Consider a child who is gifted in music, but whose family is very poor(in poverty)  and cannot( is unable to ) afford any kind of formal musical training. There may be a lot of famous musicians in the city which ( where) the child is living, that is, abundant of choices as musical training,（这句话的层次实在是太乱了，怎么都读不懂，虽然我明白你的意思） but the economical condition of the family restrains the ability of making such choices,（一句话中的连词实在是太多了，按说and 和but应该用在大的义群的连接上） and the training can not be received. （这里又开始讨论第二个方面了，当你以方面你只给了例子，没有给例子说明了什么问题。我觉得一个问题的两方面都挤在一起，不容易说清楚，你也可以尝试把第二方面单列一段）At the same time, people may face the situation ( face the situation 怎么听着这么别扭，可一时想不出什么，你试试把face换换)that the resource of choices is limited. For(Take a look at ) children ( who )living in remote villages( for example ), their choices of education, ways of lives, and future occupations is apparently much less than the children who live in big cities. So, it is reasonable to say that people’s choices are restricted.  （总的说论证的很有条理， 不过语言欠“彩”，显得比较硬，不过在限时的情况下可以谅解，就是可以在写完后多花几倍的时间来修改）
However, restriction in choices does not mean no choice, through effort and endeavor, people can extend the ability in choice and finally realize the goal they chose. Many people believe that choice is merely an illusion, and what people called choice is just a fated action never under the control of oneself. It is cowardice and sloth that blind people’s eyes（不要eyes） and make them ignore the possible(accessible) choices. Lincoln, whose father was an unlettered carpenter, led a hard early life, which was occupied by hunting, farming, fishing, doing chores and had less than a full year of formal education in his entire life. However, Lincoln never gave up learning and in 1847 represented Illinois in the U.S. House of Representative, and later became the president of the（有the吗？） United States. This example illustrates that choice is a(an ) action base(based) on one’s volition, will and desire. There are always choices, and the path to which is effort and endeavor.  （看完这段感觉结构好奇怪啊，你的第一段说：可以从两方面来evaluate，through ability and resource，如果我是考官，我接下来就等着看你怎么论述这两方面。但我是skater,而且看了你的提纲，所以我也是想按照你的逻辑顺序来读文的。但矛盾就在这里， 你的第一段很好的照应了提纲和开头短，但第三段是按照提纲来叙述的，第一段丝毫没有线索，如果我是阅卷的，你想我多郁闷。。。。如果你开头有说明第三段的内容，第三段也应该按ability 和resource两方面来论证。。。。动手术吧。。加油！）（还有，就这一段本身来说，如果按你的提纲来写（如果你时间够的话），从正反两方面来论述更有说服力，比如这段：还可以说，without effort, we would miss some choices，然后举反方面的例子，段尾总结，这样就是非常完整的论述方式，呵呵，现学现卖）
Further, nowadays, globalization creates more opportunities for people to choose, and tolerance, which has been accepted as a common concept for modern society, allows people to choose more freely. Firstly, thanks to globalization, people can choose from a relatively larger range than ever before, without the limitation in one country and one society. America, a country characterized by dynamism（物力论，力本说？？）, energy, aggressiveness and forward movement, and is believed to be a land where the dreams comes true, provides more opportunities and choices than most other societies. Globalization enables people to come to America, make their choices and realize their dreams. Secondly, with the development of the society, more and more people keep an open mind and tolerance ( on)  others (others’)choices which they do not truly agree with. Other people’s view, or social pressure, has long been a restraint when people are making a choice. Without such restraint, people can choose easier out of their own will. （这段就内在逻辑来说是不错的，有层次，但要注意和前文的照应，就是第一段最好也有一句这句的主题，这段的最后最好还有个收尾。还有，我没觉得globalization 是个人努力的递进关系，是并列关系还差不多， 虽然概念上有差异。）
There are usually choices, although sometimes limited, provided by the society and realized by people’s own endeavor. （没写完？希望自己修改过再拿来给大家看：））

skaterUID: 2116878

还有结尾最好也一一照应，呵呵

alcestisUID: 2101945

自己的修改
（）里的部分是原来写的，彩色的部分是改的

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."


提纲：
1 人们的选择的确受到种种条件的限制（社会环境）
2 个人的努力可帮人们达成选择的目标
3 社会多元化给人们选择的空间

正文

Whether choices are abundant in our life is a complex issue, over which heated debates in human history seldom stop. I concede that people can not always choose what they really want, however a circumstance without choice is very, very rare. Since，people can usually find choices through strive of their own, and the modern society has provide numerous choices.

Everyone is born, brought up and live in different situations, which determines their different ability in making choices and the limited resources they can choose from. Consider a child who is gifted in music, (but whose family is very poor and cannot afford any kind of formal musical training. There may be a lot of famous musicians in the city which the child is living, that is, abundant of choices as musical training, but the economical condition of the family restrains the ability of making such choices, and the training can not be received.) and lives in a city full of famous musicians, but the economic condition of his family prevent him from formal musical training, that is, facing abundant choices, but with little ability to chose. It is a miserable condition, but unfortunately a condition few can avoid. At the same time, people may (face) confront the situation that the resource of choices is limited. (For)Take a look at children who live (living) in remote villages, their choices of education, ways of lives, and future occupations is apparently much less than the children who live in big cities. So, for the two facets above, it is reasonable to say that people’s choices are restricted.  

However, restriction in choices does not mean no choice, through effort and endeavor, people can extend the ability in choice and finally realize the goal they chose. Many people believe that choice is merely an illusion, and what people called choice is just a fated action never under the control of oneself. It is cowardice and sloth that blind people(’s eyes) and make them ignore the possible choices. Lincoln, whose father was an unlettered carpenter, led a hard early life, which was occupied by hunting, farming, fishing, doing chores and had less than a full year of formal education in his entire life. However, Lincoln never gave up learning and in 1847 represented Illinois in the U.S. House of Representative, and later became the president of United States. This example illustrates that choice is an action based on one’s volition, will and desire. There are always choices, and the path to which is effort and endeavor.  

Further, (And) nowadays, globalization creates more opportunities for people to choose, and tolerance, which has been accepted as a common concept for modern society, allows people to choose more freely. Firstly, thanks to globalization, people can choose from a relatively larger range than ever before, without the limitation in one country and one society. America, a country characterized by dynamism, energy, aggressiveness and forward movement, and is believed to be a land where the dreams comes true, provides more opportunities and choices than most other societies. Globalization enables people to come to America, make their choices and realize their dreams. Secondly, with the development of the society, more and more people keep an open mind and tolerate others choices which they do not truly agree with. Other people’s view, or social pressure, has long been a restraint when people are making a choice. Without such restraint, people can choose easier out of their own will.
Thus, it is obvious that in modern time, more and more choices are provided for people who want to succeed.

(There are usually choices, although sometimes limited, provided by the society and realized by people’s own endeavor.)
All in all, although sometimes the ability to chose and the things can be chosen are both limited, a circumstances without choices is very, very rare, for people can create choices which are abundant in modern society.

alcestisUID: 2101945

我没限时 哭~~
dynamism 是dynamic的名词
还有forward movement 都是我们英语课本上的