ARGUMENT117 求互动!

aquariusdUID: 203965

Argument 117

In this memo the business manager of Valu-Mart stores proposed a stock-increasing of office machines and supplies to the office-supply departments, and draw a conclusion that with these done the office-supply department will achieve the most profit in their stores. To prove this the manager cited the result of a recent survey that 70 percent of the respondents reported their take-home work increased than before. Besides, the fact that no impressive sales in the office-supply deparments in the past was also cited in the memo. Though sounds somewhat reasonable on the surface, I have to say that deduction and conclusion suffer several fallacies.

First, the manager suggested to "take advange of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of office machines". Obviously the Valu-Mart is a interlock chain which means several stores in different areas. Since we are not given the background of the survey, it is probably that only one area of the Valu-Mart chains is covered in the investigation. Then to increase "at all Valu-Mart stores" the stock of office machines would be much alike unnecessary.

Second, chances are good that people who often take their work home already have a home office machine. Since the office machines are non-consuming products(products that need to only invest once in a relatively long period of time), unless their machines are broke and can never be fixed, people may not want to buy a new one. Thus the sales of the office-supply departments would not be effected much.

Third, since Valu-mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, the mere pactice of increasing the stock will not improve the case. As widely believed, "The law of demand" works in every market. That economic law tells us that it is the demand but not the supply who decide the profit. So, without any practice to impell the demand of such office supplies, chances are very small that the sales of office-supply departments will be improved.

Besides, even when the sales of office-supply departments increase, it does not come definetely that the department will "become the most profitable component" of the Valu-Mart. Lacking more details about other departments of the Valu-Mart, one cannot draw such a conclusion. There might be hundreds of factors that effect the total profits Valu-Mart makes. No definete comparision should be made before the real data comes out.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to demonstrate that the stock increasing indeed has a strong effect on the sales. Additionally, the author must provide evidence to rule out
other factors of profit comparision among departments of Valu-Mart.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-29 at 23:59 ]

one way streetUID: 194590

In this memo the business manager of Valu-Mart stores proposed a stock-increasing of office machines and supplies to the office-supply departments, and draw a conclusion that with these done(done有名词词性吗？) the office-supply department will achieve the most profit in their stores. （achieve用的不合适，没有achieve profit的说法，可以考虑用gain）To prove this the manager cited the result of a recent survey that 70 percent of the respondents reported their take-home work increased than before. Besides, the fact that no impressive sales in the office-supply deparments in the past was also cited in the memo. Though (the argument)sounds somewhat reasonable on the surface, I have to say that (the)deduction and conclusion suffer several fallacies.

First, the manager suggested to "take advange of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of office machines". Obviously the Valu-Mart is a interlock chain which means several stores in different areas. Since we are not given the background of the survey, it is probably that only one area of the Valu-Mart chains is covered in the investigation. Then to increase "at all Valu-Mart stores" the stock of office machines would be much alike (去掉alike)unnecessary.(不仅可以质疑调查范围，还可以对调查的更多细节进行疑问：调查的时间、地点、被访问者的数量、回应者比例等。这样更有攻击强度)
Second, chances are good that people who often take their work home already have a home office machine.(:confused:) Since the office machines are non-consuming products(products that need to only invest once in a relatively long period of time), unless their machines are broke and can never be fixed, people may not want to buy a new one. Thus the sales of the office-supply departments would not be much effected.(要攻击哪个方面呢？不好意思，没看出来啊)

Third, since Valu-mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, the mere pactice of increasing the stock will not improve the case. As widely believed, "The law of demand" works in every market. （没有排除计划经济的啊）That（用the或复数比较好吧） economic law tells us that it is the demand but not the supply who（which） decide the profit. So, without any practice to impell the demand of such office supplies, chances are very small that the sales of office-supply departments will be improved.[/u]（改成这样比较通顺：changes are so small that the sales of office-supply departments can be hardly improved.）

Besides, even when the sales of office-supply departments increase, it does not come definetely（definitely） that the department will "become the most profitable component" of the Valu-Mart. Lacking more details about other departments of the Valu-Mart, one cannot draw such a conclusion. There might be hundreds of factors that effect the total profits Valu-Mart makes. (最好能列举一下)No definete (definite)comparision should be made before the real data comes (come)out.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to demonstrate that the stock increasing indeed has a strong effect on the sales. Additionally, the author must provide evidence to rule out
other factors affect profit comparision among departments of Valu-Mart. 总觉得最后一句话不太对：我觉得应该是没有考虑到其他影响利润的因素而错误判断office-supply department will become the most profitadle component.

总体感觉批判还需要更深刻一些，过多集中于对利润的批判，在攻击的过程中如果能列举一些其他的原因，效果会更好。

个人意见，多多包涵啊！:L

麻烦帮我也看看吧::handshake https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D103