Argument140 看看

qwerty_123UID：201741

140The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."


At first glance, the arguer's reasoning seems to be quite sound. According to his conclusion that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. However, unfortunately, if we make a careful consideration of his evidence, doubt will be cast on this conclusion and apprehension will be heaped on.

In the first place, the arguer attempts to establish a causal relationship between the cause that Professor Thomas's class are among the largest at the university and the effect that demonstrating her popularity among students. The arguer makes a assumption that there are many students in the largest class, however, there is no evidence to support the arguer's claim. It is high possible that there is little students in the largest class. When we probe into the result of the arguer's assumption, we may find bigger flaw in this argument. This argument, nonetheless, is based on an oversimplified analysis of the cause that her classes are among the largest at the university and presumptuous correlation accordingly is unacceptable. Actually, it is possible that the reason why so many students taught by Professor Thomas is not her popularity among students but rather that many students must study the course Professor Thomas taught. Without ruling out such possibility and alterative explanation the arguer can not convince that her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstration her popularity among students.

In the second place, the arguer provides no enough strong evidence to support her research abilities. The example cited that money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years, while suggestive of this, is insufficient to warrant the truth because there is no reason to believe that the data in each of last two years is representative of the data for seventeen years. It is possible that the reason why she received so many money in the last two years is her research interest is appreciated by government not her research ability is excellent. Without pointing out more information to support her research ability, I cannot accept the arguer's claim.

In the third place, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty of generalization. Even if consider her teaching and research ability, it does not follow that without such a raise and promotion; we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college. If she want to leave the university, it is high possible she has many other factors, such as her husband is not in Elm City, or perhaps the other university can give her better research environment. Even if with such a raise and promotion, she also wants to leave Elm City. Besides, the arguer does not provide any information about her characters.  We cannot know she will leave the university for without such a raise and promotion as the arguer says. Without ruling out possibilities and factors, the arguer cannot confidently conclude that without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.

In sum, to bolster and strength the argument, the arguer should provide more information about her research ability. To better evaluate the recommendation, the arguer should point out more evidence about her characters. Otherwise, the argument is groundless and unacceptable

[ Last edited by qwerty_123 on 2005-7-31 at 17:59 ]

AlexandraUID：185174

一会回你贴

AlexandraUID：185174

Argument140 看看

140The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
[同学，可以把文章编排得 好看点吗？ 这样一看， 都连在一块了。 还有提纲 以后可以列出来吗？ 大家 虽然 有义务互相帮忙修改，但是，能省时，就省 嘛 ： ]]

[开头呢？ 是我复制 丢了？？？]

At first glance, the arguer's reasoning seems to be quite sound. According to his conclusion that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson.  [这里是不是应该为逗号？？不然，句子的主语在那里呢？？ ]However, unfortunately, if we make a careful consideration of his evidence, doubt will be cast on this conclusion and apprehension will be heaped on[/color].[这个句子的后半部分，我喜欢！ 又学到东西了，谢谢了！！]

In the first place, the arguer attempts to establish a causal relationship between the cause that Professor Thomas's class are among the largest at the university and the effect that demonstrating her popularity among students. The arguer makes a [是an 吧？？]  assumption that there are many students in the largest class, however, there is no evidence to support the arguer's claim. It is high possible that there is little students in the largest class. When we probe into the result of the arguer's assumption, we may find bigger flaw in this argument. This argument, nonetheless, is based on an oversimplified [哈哈我也喜欢这个词] analysis of the cause that her classes are among the largest at the university and presumptuous correlation accordingly is unacceptable. Actually, it is possible that the reason why so many students taught by Professor Thomas is not her popularity among students but rather that many students must study the course Professor Thomas taught. Without ruling out such possibility and alterative explanation the arguer can not convince that her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstration her popularity among students.
[你用的是 经典套路哦，但是，你的句子 太模板化，建议 自己再 修改修改， 变成自己的东西。]

In the second place, the arguer provides no enough strong evidence to support her research abilities. The example cited that money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years, while suggestive of this, is insufficient to warrant the truth because there is no reason to believe that the data in each of last two years is representative of the data for seventeen years. It is possible that the reason why she received so many money in the last two years is her research interest is appreciated by government not her research ability is excellent.[这个句子 忽一看好象有问题啊。 再看看] Without pointing out more information to support her research ability, I cannot accept the arguer's claim.


In the third place, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty of generalization [这种句子 可以转化很多种啊hasty的同义词挺多的]. Even if consider her teaching and research ability, it does not follow that without such a raise and promotion; we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college. If she want  [wants ]  to leave the university, it is high  [加 LY 会怎样？ 我经常这样哦， 是我错了？？ 还是。。。 讨论一下] possible she has many other factors, such as her husband is not in Elm City, or perhaps the other university can give her better research environment. Even if with such a raise and promotion, she also wants to leave Elm City. Besides, the arguer does not provide any information about her characters. We cannot know she will leave the university for without such a raise and promotion as the arguer says. [ 好象少了个词耶？] Without ruling out possibilities and factors [加上修饰语 吧], the arguer cannot confidently conclude that without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.[这个表达，我感觉不好，可能是因为你直接 把人家的话， 搬来的缘故，意思好象有问题。你看看吧]

In sum, to bolster and strength the argument, the arguer should provide more information about her research ability. To better evaluate the recommendation, the arguer should point out more evidence about her characters. Otherwise, the argument is groundless and unacceptable
总结： 我没有看到你的开头哦！   还有 我建议 修改你的模板， 你写得 太“北美”化， 你理解我的意思吗？    还有，结尾，我建议 也要改改。 怎么感觉 你写这篇 时的状态很差的样子？？

AlexandraUID：185174

啊 不好意思， 不知道 怎么弄的 颜色。没有 弄好。对不起啊

qwerty_123UID：201741

谢谢你了

ssskyUID：204142

At first glance, the arguer's reasoning seems to be quite sound. According to his conclusion that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. However, unfortunately, if we make a careful consideration of his evidence, doubt will be cast on this conclusion and apprehension will be heaped on.我觉得最好先说作者提出了什么结论,其次说作者提供了论据,当然可以不要再抄题目,然后你再觉得里面有逻辑错误.这虽然是经典套路,但是毕竟条例清晰.我觉得你的开头有点乱, 精心准备一个模板拉,呵呵.

In the first place, the arguer attempts to establish a causal relationship between the cause that Professor Thomas's class are among the largest at the university and the effect that demonstrating her popularity among students. The arguer makes a(an) assumption that there are many students in the largest class, however, there is no evidence to support the arguer's claim. It is high possible that there is little students in the largest class. When we probe into the result of the arguer's assumption, we may find bigger flaw in this argument. This argument, nonetheless, is based on an oversimplified analysis of the cause that her classes are among the largest at the university and presumptuous correlation accordingly is unacceptable. Actually, it is possible that the reason why so many students taught by Professor Thomas is not her popularity among students but rather that many students must study the course Professor Thomas taught. 为什么must study你要分析清楚啊,比如说大课,基础课什么的Without ruling out such possibility and alterative explanation the arguer can not convince that her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstration her popularity among students.这一段我个人觉得分析的条理有点乱, 在重新理一下 呵呵

In the second place, the arguer provides no enough strong evidence to support her research abilities. The example cited that money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years, while suggestive of this, is insufficient to warrant the truth because there is no reason to believe that the data in each of last two years is representative of the data for seventeen years. It is possible that the reason why she received so many money in the last two years is her research interest is appreciated by government not her research ability is excellent. Without pointing out more information to support her research ability, I cannot accept the arguer's claim.引用原文不用太多, 关键是要为自己的驳论服务,题目没有证明教授的科研能力,你可以想想,文章应该怎么提供证据才能证明她的科研能力呢, 这样字数和文章的说服力就上去了,不是光靠引用原文的, 呵呵 我自己也要注意这个问题
In the third place, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty of generalization. Even if consider her teaching and research ability, it does not follow that without such a raise and promotion; we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college. If she want to leave the university, it is high possible she has many other factors, such as her husband is not in Elm City, 呵呵这个我没想到or perhaps the other university can give her better research environment. Even if with such a raise and promotion, she also wants to leave Elm City. Besides, the arguer does not provide any information about her characters.  We cannot know she will leave the university for without such a raise and promotion as the arguer says. Without ruling out possibilities and factors, the arguer cannot confidently conclude that without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.

In sum, to bolster and strength the argument, the arguer should provide more information about her research ability. To better evaluate the recommendation, the arguer should point out more evidence about her characters. Otherwise, the argument is groundless and unacceptable

呵呵,第三个body不错,大家一起加油
留下我的argu140,互拍,互拍
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=310645