argument160compounds的功效

AlexandraUID: 185174

<160>   As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almost completely restored lost memory in rats. The use of these compounds should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating-and therefore serious problems in school performance. Science finally has a solution for problems neither parents nor teachers could solve.

提纲:  (1)没有有效说明compounds能作用在students 身上 (老鼠/年龄)
       (2)即使能作用在students 身上, 也没有足够证据说明能作用于concentration
       (3)影响school performance的有多方面

Giving some analysis and some facts, the author alleges that these compounds should exerted to school students with poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, which caused them poor performance in school. Credible as it is on surface, closer inspection will reveal the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, the argument assumes that compounds can serve school students. However, whether the compounds, which have confirmed that it can restore the lost memory of rat in tests, would use on man is kept unknown. As no evidence was contained to bolster this assumption, it is awfully possible that these compounds cannot affect the poor memory of school students, especially the compounds is harmful to school students. And what is more, the arguer neglects the age of man. PEP is known as that it can breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals containing in people grow older. Yet the author cites nothing to explain that. Hence, lacking enough information it is reckless to suggest that the use of these compounds should be extended to students.

Next, even assumes that these compounds are able to serve to school students, one also wonder about the effectiveness of the use in concentration to school students. As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory. And the author fails to supply sufficient evidence showing that these compounds do in fact serve restoring the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory of school students. Consequently, the author’s conclusion is untenable.

Additionally, the arguer unfairly concludes that the poor memory and concentrated difficulty are responsible for the serious problems in school performance of students. It is largely possible that some other factors, neither the poor memory nor concentrated difficulty, has served to the ropey effect school performance of students, such as poor teaching equipments or inferior teaching skills. Without account for these or other factors that would be influence the school performance, the author misjudges about the compounds can be a solution of a serious problems of the students school performance.

To sum up, based on the lack of more complete information, I would not accept the conclusion that the compounds would do a good job for the school performance of students. Far more sufficient evidence should be offered to show the relationship between the compounds and students problems of difficulty in concentrating and school performance.

d_messiahUID: 177468

校友我给你回了

d_messiahUID: 177468

<160>   As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almost completely restored lost memory in rats. The use of these compounds should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating-and therefore serious problems in school performance. Science finally has a solution for problems neither parents nor teachers could solve.

提纲:  (1)没有有效说明compounds能作用在students 身上 (老鼠/年龄)
       (2)即使能作用在students 身上, 也没有足够证据说明能作用于concentration
       (3)影响school performance的有多方面

Giving some analysis and some facts, the author alleges that these compounds should exerted to school students with poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, which caused them poor performance in school. Credible as it is on surface, closer inspection will reveal the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.这是精华去里的优秀范文的开头，最好能自己再改改

Primarily, the argument assumes that compounds can serve school students. However, whether the compounds, which have confirmed that it can restore the lost memory of rat in tests, would use on man is kept unknown. 全是那篇范文的啊？！ As no evidence was contained to bolster this assumption, it is awfully possible that these compounds cannot affect the poor memory of school students, especially the compounds is harmful to school students. And多余的说 what is more, the arguer neglects the age of man. PEP is known as that it can breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals containing in people grow older. Yet the author cites nothing to explain that. Hence, lacking enough information it is reckless to suggest that the use of these compounds should be extended to students.

Next, even assumes that these compounds are able to serve to school students, one also wonder about the effectiveness of the use in concentration to school students. As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory. And the author fails to supply sufficient evidence showing that these compounds do in fact serve restoring the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory of school students. Consequently, the author’s conclusion is untenable.

Additionally, the arguer unfairly concludes that the poor memory and concentrated difficulty are responsible for the serious problems in school performance of students. It is largely possible that some other factors, neither the poor memory nor concentrated difficulty, has served to the ropey effect school performance of students, such as poor teaching equipments or inferior teaching skills. Without account for these or other factors that would be influence the school performance, the author misjudges about the compounds can be a solution of a serious problems of the students school performance.

To sum up, based on the lack of more complete information, I would not accept the conclusion that the compounds would do a good job for the school performance of students. Far more sufficient evidence should be offered to show the relationship between the compounds and students problems of difficulty in concentrating and school performance.

不错，不过这个模板如果能再自己深加工一下就好了

htpengUID: 2115584

我再提供一个思路，在实验中那种用来阻断PEP的物质可能阻断了其他可能对记忆产生影响的物质。实验的严密性一向是个很好的攻击点

czzbUID: 208982

同意楼上的意见  我觉得要攻击实验的严密性 是否做到了排除其他因素？是否设置了对照？这些都可以攻击

Giving some analysis and some facts, the author alleges that these compounds should exerted to school students with poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, which caused them poor performance in school. Credible as it is on surface, closer inspection will reveal the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, the argument assumes that compounds can serve school students. However, whether the compounds, which have confirmed that it can restore the lost memory of rat in tests, would use on man is kept unknown. As no evidence was contained to bolster this assumption, it is awfully possible that these compounds cannot affect the poor memory of school students, especially 不当！ the compounds is harmful to school students. 对人鼠之区别还是批评的不过细致 有空洞之嫌，建议看看imong的那篇文献And what is more, the arguer neglects the age of man. 这是歌重要的而且独立的点 应该另写一段PEP is known as that it can breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals containing in people grow older. Yet the author cites nothing to explain that. Hence, lacking enough information it is reckless to suggest that the use of these compounds should be extended to students.

Next, even assumes that these compounds are able to serve to school students, one also wonder about the effectiveness of the use in concentration to school students. As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory. And the author fails to supply sufficient evidence showing that these compounds do in fact serve restoring the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory of school students. Consequently, the author’s conclusion is untenable.

Additionally, the arguer unfairly concludes that the poor memory and concentrated difficulty are responsible for the serious problems in school performance of students. It is largely possible that some other factors, neither the poor memory nor concentrated difficulty, has served to the ropey effect school performance of students, such as poor teaching equipments or inferior teaching skills. Without account for these or other factors that would be influence the school performance, the author misjudges about the compounds can be a solution of a serious problems of the students school performance.
这个点不是特别重要的说 不如写实验
To sum up, based on the lack of more complete information, I would not accept the conclusion that the compounds would do a good job for the school performance of students. Far more sufficient evidence should be offered to show the relationship between the compounds and students problems of difficulty in concentrating and school performance.

[ Last edited by czzb on 2005-7-31 at 00:13 ]

abigredUID: 154473

Giving some analysis and some facts, the author alleges that these compounds should exerted to school students with poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, which caused them poor performance in school. Credible as it is on surface, closer inspection will reveal the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, the argument assumes that compounds can serve school students. However, whether the compounds, which have confirmed that it can restore the lost memory of rat in tests, would use on man is kept unknown. As no evidence was contained to bolster this assumption, it is awfully possible that these compounds cannot affect the poor memory of school students, especially the compounds is harmful to school students. And what is more, the arguer neglects the age of man. PEP is known as that it can breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals containing in people grow older. Yet the author cites nothing to explain that. Hence, lacking enough information it is reckless to suggest that the use of these compounds should be extended to students.

Next, even assumes that these compounds are able to serve to school students, one also wonder about the effectiveness of the use in concentration to school students. As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory. And the author fails to supply sufficient evidence showing that these compounds do in fact serve restoring the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory of school students. Consequently, the author’s conclusion is untenable. （这一点似乎跟下面有点重复，我觉得注意力和记性还是有一定关系的，主要是记性和学生表现之间的关系不明确）

Additionally, the arguer unfairly concludes that the poor memory and concentrated difficulty are responsible for the serious problems in school performance of students. It is largely possible that some other factors, neither the poor memory nor concentrated difficulty, has served to the ropey effect school performance of students, such as poor teaching equipments or inferior teaching skills. Without account for these or other factors that would be influence the school performance, the author misjudges about the compounds can be a solution of a serious problems of the students school performance.

To sum up, based on the lack of more complete information, I would not accept the conclusion that the compounds would do a good job for the school performance of students. Far more sufficient evidence should be offered to show the relationship between the compounds and students problems of difficulty in concentrating and school performance.  

很多人都给你改过了，我就不细细改了，有进步哦。注意把握大的错误，例如在本题中的实验就是很明显的逻辑错误，而且也很好攻击，可以放在B1之前

AlexandraUID: 185174

很感激 d_messiah    htpeng    czzb    abigred  你们的修改！！！！

我会 好好总结 下次 好好写！ 谢谢！！！！

有一点 要提出，与abigred   讨论 一下， 记忆力和 注意力 或许有关， 但是 A与B有关系，  B 与C  可能有关系， 但是，A与C 有没有 关系？？ 难说啊

你说呢？？

qwerty_123UID: 201741

argument160compounds的功效

<160>   As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almost completely restored lost memory in rats. The use of these compounds should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating-and therefore serious problems in school performance. Science finally has a solution for problems neither parents nor teachers could solve.

提纲:  (1)没有有效说明compounds能作用在students 身上 (老鼠/年龄)
       (2)即使能作用在students 身上, 也没有足够证据说明能作用于concentration
       (3)影响school performance的有多方面

Giving some analysis and some facts, the author alleges that these compounds should exerted to school students with poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, which caused them poor performance in school. Credible as it is on surface, closer inspection will reveal the hidden flaws in several respects in the argument.

Primarily, the argument assumes that compounds can serve school students. However, whether the compounds, which have confirmed that it can restore the lost memory of rat in tests, would use on man is kept unknown. As no evidence was contained to bolster this assumption, it is awfully possible that these compounds cannot affect the poor memory of school students, especially the compounds is harmful to school students. And what is more, the arguer neglects the age of man. PEP is known as that it can breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals containing in people grow older. Yet the author cites nothing to explain that. Hence, lacking enough information it is reckless to suggest that the use of these compounds should be extended to students.

Next, even assumes that these compounds are able to serve to school students, one also wonder about the effectiveness of the use in concentration to school students. As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory. And the author fails to supply sufficient evidence showing that these compounds do in fact serve restoring the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory of school students. Consequently, the author’s conclusion is untenable.

Additionally, the arguer unfairly concludes that the poor memory and concentrated difficulty are responsible for the serious problems in school performance of students. It is largely possible that some other factors, neither the poor memory nor concentrated difficulty, has served to the ropey effect school performance of students, such as poor teaching equipments or inferior teaching skills. Without account for these or other factors that would be influence the school performance, the author misjudges about the compounds can be a solution of a serious problems of the students school performance.

To sum up, based on the lack of more complete information, I would not accept the conclusion that the compounds would do a good job for the school performance of students. Far more sufficient evidence should be offered to show the relationship between the compounds and students problems of difficulty in concentrating and school performance.
看后给我第一的感觉是：如果你是在限时的情况下写出来的作文，我感觉你的阿狗是很不错了。真的，
还有就是第二个论点我感觉有点单薄，可以在As common sense, there is little or nothing linkage between the difficulty in concentrating and poor memory.这一句后举一些例子说明一下。
开头和结尾都写得不错。语句看上去挺好。
整篇文章语句也不错，只要保持这个水平考试就不错了

AlexandraUID: 185174

3x!!!