argument117 欢迎来拍！

udoUID: 2114276

【题目】
117The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

【提纲】
1统计：调查对象代表性问题：职业、性别比例、年龄等；调查结果表述不清缺乏比较

2隐藏假设：调查显示人们带更多的工作回家不等于家用办公用品会更有市场
这些带回家的工作是否需要用到家用办公用品？在家工作/＝购置设备！

3利润问题
偷换概念：办公用品销售额低不等于利润低
匪夷所思的推理（明显的谬误）：增加库存－增加利润
经营家用办公用品是否能够赚更多的钱？增加库存就是增加成本！与增加利润没有因果关系。经典利润套话。

【正文】

The author of this argument claims that the office-supply departments will earn more money than before by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies. To support this claim the author cites certain survey about some workers concerning their work to be done at home. The author also referred that there is no impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.

In the first place, a more specific statement about the survey is needed in order to make the argument forceful. It would be more convincing if we know the number of the respondents, their sex proportion, age, occupation, and so forth. Since the author fails to provide enough information about the samples in the survey, we would be doubtful for its availability. Granting that more work do be taken home, no evidence was given to substantiate the claim that these home-work contribute to increasing demand of home office machine and office supplies. it depends on the practical need of the work.. Maybe the workers just need to read some report or make some Excel tables on computers that do not require any device at all.

In addition, the arguer does not differentiate between unimpressive sales and low profit. Profit is an conception which is only concerning with the revenues and the costs. If each commodity can make a great profit, the low sales do not mean low whole profit. Increasing the stores' stock is not a wise policy for a commercial entity. Huge reserve is a heavy load that needs many warehouses and warehouse keepers that can contribute to the big costs of the store. Thus the strength of the author's claim of excessive profits depends on a cost-benefit analysis that the author does not provide.

Besides, the author stressed that Valu-Mart should increase at all stores the stock. There are a myriad of variables in different stores, which are in the same city but different streets, no mention of stores in different cities. It is the custom that people work hard even in their private time who would more likely to take works home in some area such as New York City and Tokyo, while it is ordinary that people are concentrate on the quality of their life which cannot be disturbed by work in some other cities such as Paris.

Unless the author can provide substantial evidence concerning the profit of the Valu0Mart stores, the conclusion cannot be properly drawn. It can be further improved by taking into account more factors discussed above that may affect the conclusion.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-7 at 10:52 ]

czl223UID: 2120177

argument 117 欢迎来拍！

【题目】
117The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

【提纲】
1统计：调查对象代表性问题：职业、性别比例、年龄等；调查结果表述不清缺乏比较

2隐藏假设：调查显示人们带更多的工作回家不等于家用办公用品会更有市场
这些带回家的工作是否需要用到家用办公用品？在家工作/＝购置设备！

3利润问题
偷换概念：办公用品销售额低不等于利润低
匪夷所思的推理（明显的谬误）：增加库存－增加利润
经营家用办公用品是否能够赚更多的钱？增加库存就是增加成本！与增加利润没有因果关系。经典利润套话。

【正文】

The author of this argument claims that the office-supply departments will earn more money than before by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies结论是这样吗，没说比以前好啊，只是说利润将最高在所有的部门中. To support this claim the author cites certain survey about some workers concerning their work to be done at home. The author also referred that there is no impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past.这两句很好 Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.

In the first place, a more specific statement about the survey is needed in order to make the argument forceful. It would be more convincing if we know the number of the respondents, their sex proportion, age, occupation, and so forth. Since the author fails to provide enough information about the samples in the survey, we would be doubtful for its availability. Granting that more work do be taken home, no evidence was given to substantiate the claim that these home-work contribute to increasing demand of home office machine and office supplies. it depends on the practical need of the work.. Maybe the workers just need to read some report or make some Excel tables on computers that do not require any device at all.论证不错

In addition, the arguer does not differentiate between unimpressive sales and low profit. Profit is an conception which is only concerning with the revenues and the costs. If each commodity can make a great profit, the low sales do not mean low whole profit. Increasing the stores' stock is not a wise policy for a commercial entity. Huge reserve is a heavy load that needs many warehouses and warehouse keepers that can contribute to the big costs of the store. Thus the strength of the author's claim of excessive profits depends on a cost-benefit analysis that the author does not provide.

Besides, the author stressed that Valu-Mart should increase at all stores the stock. There are a myriad of variables in different stores, which are in the same city but different streets, no mention of stores in different cities. It is the custom that people work hard even in their private time who would more likely to take works home in some area such as New York City and Tokyo, while it is ordinary that people are concentrate on the quality of their life which cannot be disturbed by work in some other cities such as Paris.

Unless the author can provide substantial evidence concerning the profit of the Valu0Mart stores, the conclusion cannot be properly drawn. It can be further improved by taking into account more factors discussed above that may affect the conclusion.

总的来说，逻辑不错，找的错误也很有特点。还有的错误是那个趋势不会改变，还有最有利润。

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... highlight=%2Bczl223

cityriversonUID: 2119340

The author of this argument claims that the office-supply departments will earn more money than before by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies. To support this claim the author cites certain survey about some workers concerning their work to be done at home. The author also referred that there is no impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.

In the first place, a more specific statement about the survey is needed in order to make the argument forceful. It would be more convincing if we know the number of the respondents, their sex proportion, age, occupation, and so forth. Since the author fails to provide enough information about the samples in the survey, we would be doubtful for its availability. Granting that more work do be taken home, no evidence was given to substantiate the claim that these home-work contribute to increasing demand of home office machine and office supplies. it depends on the practical need of the work.. Maybe the workers just need to read some report or make some Excel tables on computers that do not require any device at all.这一段似乎在针对两个错误进行批驳，这样做是不是不太合适？

In addition, the arguer does not differentiate between unimpressive sales and low profit. Profit is an conception which is only concerning with the revenues and the costs. If each commodity can make a great profit, the low sales do not mean low whole profit. Increasing the stores' stock is not a wise policy for a commercial entity. Huge reserve is a heavy load that needs many warehouses and warehouse keepers that can contribute to the big costs of the store. Thus the strength of the author's claim of excessive profits depends on a cost-benefit analysis that the author does not provide.

Besides, the author stressed that Valu-Mart should increase at all stores the stock. There are a myriad of variables in different stores, which are in the same city but different streets, no mention of stores in different cities. It is the custom that people work hard even in their private time who would more likely to take works home in some area such as New York City and Tokyo, while it is ordinary that people are concentrate on the quality of their life which cannot be disturbed by work in some other cities such as Paris.

Unless the author can provide substantial evidence concerning the profit of the Valu0Mart stores, the conclusion cannot be properly drawn. It can be further improved by taking into account more factors discussed above that may affect the conclusion.


总的是很不错的，字数也上去了
只是个人感觉最后一个错误找得有点勉强，不过能展开说也挺好的了
呵呵 argu要向你学习:)

woyuanyiUID: 173024

117The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

The author of this argument claims that the office-supply departments will earn more money than before by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores (既然后面批驳这点了这里最好也照应一下). To support this claim the author cites certain survey about some workers concerning their work to be done at home. The author also referred that there is no impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.(最后一句再具体点就好了)

In the first place, a more specific statement about the survey is needed in order to make the argument forceful. It would be more convincing if we know the number of the respondents, their sex proportion, age, occupation, and so forth. Since the author fails to provide enough information about the samples in the survey, we would be doubtful for its availability. Granting that more work do be taken home, no evidence was given to substantiate the claim that these home-work contribute to increasing demand of home office machine and office supplies. it depends on the practical need of the work.. Maybe the workers just need to read some report or make some Excel tables on computers that do not require any device at all.

In addition, the arguer does not differentiate between unimpressive sales and low profit. Profit is an conception which is only concerning with the revenues and the costs. If each commodity can make a great profit, the low sales do not mean low whole profit (后半句有点读的不通,而且感觉这句和整段联系不甚紧密). Increasing the stores' stock is not a wise policy for a commercial entity. Huge reserve is a heavy load that needs many warehouses and warehouse keepers that can contribute to the big costs of the store. Thus the strength of the author's claim of excessive profits depends on a cost-benefit analysis that the author does not provide. (本段中间那句话我觉得可以单列出来写,虽然也是profit的问题单和后面所论述的侧重点不同)

Besides, the author stressed that Valu-Mart should increase at all stores the stock. There are a myriad of variables in different stores, which are in the same city but different streets, no mention of stores in different cities. It is the custom that people work hard even in their private time who would more likely to take works home in some area such as New York City and Tokyo, while it is ordinary that people are concentrate on the quality of their life which cannot be disturbed by work in some other cities such as Paris. (这一段写的好 语言具体又到位^^)

Unless the author can provide substantial evidence concerning the profit of the Valu0Mart stores, the conclusion cannot be properly drawn. It can be further improved by taking into account more factors discussed above that may affect the conclusion.

[ Last edited by woyuanyi on 2005-8-7 at 02:52 ]

woyuanyiUID: 173024

帮忙看看我的吧?也是117

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D6

是我的第一篇 发了好久了也没人回~~