issue150 寄托4人组 8.8作业

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

issue的逻辑结构：TV and Computer--> familiar with many places-->(familiar了就不用去了)-->tourism will become obsolete.

第一层关系没有问题。可以陈述这个现象。
问题是第二层关系可能让人无法同意：familiar是在什么意义上来说的。的确，很多人们过去看不到的现在看到了，但看到了不意味着就不去了。
a。admittedly，有些人看了电视就不去了。
b。但是，看二维的画面和身临其境是不一样的。人们还是更愿意亲身体验那里的风景。很多节目实际上起到了广告的作用。电视电影中美丽的画面吸引人们去；不同的节目为人们去哪儿提供了重要的参考。但他们既不能完全涵盖所有的风景，也不能满足个性化的需求。

此外，还可以跳出familiar这个逻辑链。TV and computer除了让人们familiar了景点，还在别的方面促进了旅游业：
互联网为人们订票定房、直接咨询旅游景点提供了巨大的帮助。为人们旅游解除了很多不必要的忧虑，从而促进了旅游业的发展。

No where in history do television and worldwide computer connections play such a significant role than ours. The speaker seems to worry about a negative aspect of this impact, that is, tourism might be gradually obsolete since people now become familiar with many places through TV and internet and therefore, they will have no interest in going there and seeing by themselves. I will argue, however, that this worry unfairly neglects some aspects of tourism which TV and internet can hardly be competent, and many positive influences that TV and internet bringing into tourism.

No doubt, TV and World Wide Web changes people’s life once for all. Just fifty years ago, when TV was not as popular as these days and computer had not been invented, the only way people can know about the outside world where they have never been was through reading travelogs. They had to, by appealing to the words left by other travelers, portray a picture of many wonders in their own mind, though many times not very accurate. But nowadays, audience can easily get access to vivid sceneries of the other side of world just by sitting in front of a TV set, or checking detailed information about these wonders whatever they want to know on internet. Owing to these inventions, great names such as Pyramids, Great Wall, Parthenon, Alps, so on and so forth, are no longer just some blank words in books, but always with colorful pictures when they come to people’s mind. For some people, indeed, they will satisfy with a tour on TV and will not go to these places by themselves, since without the sweat and money spent on trips, they can see the sceneries as well. However, the influence of TV and internet on tourism should not be exaggerated: although they partly satisfy people’s desire to know the world, they can nevertheless replace all on-the-spot tours by people themselves.

To begin with, TV and internet can only provide 2-D pictures or movies on screen, while this is quite different from the real sceneries. Just contrast a TV tour in Hawaii and a real tour there. On TV people can see the gorgeous beach, charming hula and attractive sea food. A real tour, on the other hand, can cover all of these and what is more important, include far more than these. Tourists there can enjoy the sands and sunshine by themselves, communicate with native people to know their culture better, and taste the real delicious food. None of these can be achieved by a TV tour. In fact, all the glamors of a famous spot could be revealed only when one is there, to see it, to listen it, to smell it, to touch it, and to feel it: in a word, to experience it by oneself. Only in this way can the full meaning of tourism be achieved. More expensive though a real tour is, it is nevertheless worth the cost.

What is more, TV programs cannot satisfy many personal interests. Different persons might have distinct favors and interests on the same key point of interest. A history major and an architecture major, for instance, might have quite different preferences on a program about ancient Greek and Rome. Unfortunately, it is always decided by the TV director which part and which perspective to shot. A public program can hardly cover all special requests from audience. Hence, a person having a special interest has to visit the place he or she interested in and explore it in person.

Besides, TV and worldwide computer connections are actually favoring tourism in many ways. Their advent makes information transmit much faster and easier. When checking e-mail box one can often find some bargains of a tour in somewhere. Sometimes the price is so low that it drives people to the place even if they did not have plans to go there. Even though some tourists are not so lucky to receive these deals, through bargaining on line, they can as well get a much cheaper price than usual. Moreover, internet also makes it easier to connect with the administration of a resort directly, in which way tourists can easily get updated information to refer in their decision making and book air tickets and hotel rooms in advance. All these help tourists to dismiss their worries and have a reassuring trip.

In summary, it is too early to say that tourism will soon be obsolete. There is something in tourism that can never be substituted by any other means. Tourism is, I believe, more welcome to the advent of TV and worldwide computer connections rather than bearing negative attitude towards them, since TV and internet actually assist, not threat, tourism.

780 words. Compose and revise in 2 and a half hours.

meautoUID: 2116250

150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

issue的逻辑结构：TV and Computer--> familiar with many places-->(familiar了就不用去了)-->tourism will become obsolete.

第一层关系没有问题。可以陈述这个现象。
问题是第二层关系可能让人无法同意：familiar是在什么意义上来说的。的确，很多人们过去看不到的现在看到了，但看到了不意味着就不去了。
a。admittedly，有些人看了电视就不去了。
b。但是，看二维的画面和身临其境是不一样的。人们还是更愿意亲身体验那里的风景。很多节目实际上起到了广告的作用。电视电影中美丽的画面吸引人们去；不同的节目为人们去哪儿提供了重要的参考。但他们既不能完全涵盖所有的风景，也不能满足个性化的需求。

此外，还可以跳出familiar这个逻辑链。TV and computer除了让人们familiar了景点，还在别的方面促进了旅游业：
互联网为人们订票定房、直接咨询旅游景点提供了巨大的帮助。为人们旅游解除了很多不必要的忧虑，从而促进了旅游业的发展。

No where in history do television and worldwide computer connections play such a significant role than ours. The speaker seems to worry about a negative aspect of this impact, that is, tourism might be gradually obsolete since people now become familiar with many places through TV and internet and therefore, they will have no interest in going there and seeing by themselves. I will argue, however, that this worry unfairly neglects some aspects of tourism which TV and internet can hardly be competent, and many positive influences that TV and internet bringing into tourism.
[开头很有震撼力。]
No doubt, TV and World Wide Web changes[ change] people’s life once for all. Just fifty years ago, when TV was not as popular as these days and computer had not been invented, the only way people can know about the outside world where they have never been was through reading travelogs. They had to, by appealing to the words left by other travelers,[ 这个appealing 好象有问题。MS是words appeal to people，请教] portray a picture of many wonders in their own mind, though many times not very accurate. But nowadays, audience can easily get access to vivid sceneries of the other side of world just by sitting in front of a TV set, or checking detailed information about these wonders whatever they want to know on internet. Owing to these inventions, great names such as Pyramids, Great Wall, Parthenon, Alps, so on and so forth, are no longer just some blank words in books, but always with colorful pictures when they come to people’s mind. For some people, indeed, they will satisfy with a tour on TV and will not go to these places by themselves, since without the sweat and money spent on trips, they can see the sceneries as well.[我觉得这一段到这里就应该完了。However可以放到下一段，或者另起一段。也算几蛋里面挑骨头吧] However, the influence of TV and internet on tourism should not be exaggerated: although they partly satisfy people’s desire to know the world, they can nevertheless replace all on-the-spot tours by people themselves.

To begin with, TV and internet can only provide 2-D pictures or movies on screen, while this is quite different from the real sceneries. Just contrast a TV tour in Hawaii and a real tour there. On TV people can see the gorgeous beach, charming hula and attractive sea food. A real tour, on the other hand, can cover all of these and what is more important, include far more than these. Tourists there can enjoy the sands and sunshine by themselves, communicate with native people to know their culture better, and taste the real delicious food. None of these can be achieved by a TV tour. In fact, all the glamors of a famous spot could be revealed only when one is there, to see it, to listen it, to smell it, to touch it, and to feel it: in a word, to experience it by oneself.[学习，我也用了这个句式，写的就没你有力度。] Only in this way can the full meaning of tourism be achieved. More expensive though a real tour is, it is nevertheless worth the cost.
[连MONEY的问题也考虑到了。。。。。。。]
What is more, TV programs cannot satisfy many personal interests. Different persons might have distinct favors and interests on the same key point of interest.[对同一景点的兴趣爱好还有不同。] A history major and an architecture major, for instance, might have quite different preferences on a program about ancient Greek and Rome. Unfortunately, it is always decided by the TV director which part and which perspective to shot. A public program can hardly cover all special requests from audience. Hence, a person having a special interest has to visit the place he or she interested in and explore it in person.
[呵呵，终于有话说了。这一段写的还是不错，不过有点狡猾。为什么是 program about ancient Greek and Rome,而不是perspective programs on ancient Greek and Rome 呢？实际上，即使找不到这样有针对性的电视节目，从INTERNET上找到满足各自需要的信息还是不难的。不过你说的也很对。]
Besides, TV and worldwide computer connections are actually favoring tourism in many ways. Their advent makes information transmit much faster and easier. When checking e-mail box one can often find some bargains of a tour in somewhere. Sometimes the price is so low that it drives people to the place even if they did not have plans to go there. Even though some tourists are not so lucky to receive these deals, through bargaining on line, they can as well get a much cheaper price than usual.[小问题，和usual比，什么时候可以bargaining on line?] Moreover, internet also makes it easier to connect with the administration of a resort directly, in which way tourists can easily get updated information to refer in their decision making and book air tickets and hotel rooms in advance. All these help tourists to dismiss their worries and have a reassuring trip.

In summary, it is too early to say that tourism will soon be obsolete. There is something in tourism that can never be substituted by any other means. Tourism is, I believe, more welcome to the advent of TV and worldwide computer connections rather than bearing negative attitude towards them, since TV and internet actually assist, not threat, tourism.

780 words. Compose and revise in 2 and a half hours.
[看了几遍，无论是语言结构内容基本上都无懈可击。
不是我拍你马P，你可以得意了。如果上场可以写出这么多字的话。]
学习:o

meautoUID: 2116250

150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

issue的逻辑结构：TV and Computer--> familiar with many places-->(familiar了就不用去了)-->tourism will become obsolete.

第一层关系没有问题。可以陈述这个现象。
问题是第二层关系可能让人无法同意：familiar是在什么意义上来说的。的确，很多人们过去看不到的现在看到了，但看到了不意味着就不去了。
a。admittedly，有些人看了电视就不去了。
b。但是，看二维的画面和身临其境是不一样的。人们还是更愿意亲身体验那里的风景。很多节目实际上起到了广告的作用。电视电影中美丽的画面吸引人们去；不同的节目为人们去哪儿提供了重要的参考。但他们既不能完全涵盖所有的风景，也不能满足个性化的需求。

此外，还可以跳出familiar这个逻辑链。TV and computer除了让人们familiar了景点，还在别的方面促进了旅游业：
互联网为人们订票定房、直接咨询旅游景点提供了巨大的帮助。为人们旅游解除了很多不必要的忧虑，从而促进了旅游业的发展。

No where in history do television and worldwide computer connections play such a significant role than ours. The speaker seems to worry about a negative aspect of this impact, that is, tourism might be gradually obsolete since people now become familiar with many places through TV and internet and therefore, they will have no interest in going there and seeing by themselves. I will argue, however, that this worry unfairly neglects some aspects of tourism which TV and internet can hardly be competent, and many positive influences that TV and internet bringing into tourism.
开头很有震撼力。
No doubt, TV and World Wide Web changes change people’s life once for all. Just fifty years ago, when TV was not as popular as these days and computer had not been invented, the only way people can know about the outside world where they have never been was through reading travelogs. They had to, by appealing to the words left by other travelers, 这个appealing 好象有问题。MS是words appeal to people，请教 portray a picture of many wonders in their own mind, though many times not very accurate. But nowadays, audience can easily get access to vivid sceneries of the other side of world just by sitting in front of a TV set, or checking detailed information about these wonders whatever they want to know on internet. Owing to these inventions, great names such as Pyramids, Great Wall, Parthenon, Alps, so on and so forth, are no longer just some blank words in books, but always with colorful pictures when they come to people’s mind. For some people, indeed, they will satisfy with a tour on TV and will not go to these places by themselves, since without the sweat and money spent on trips, they can see the sceneries as well.我觉得这一段到这里就应该完了。However可以放到下一段，或者另起一段。也算几蛋里面挑骨头吧 However, the influence of TV and internet on tourism should not be exaggerated: although they partly satisfy people’s desire to know the world, they can nevertheless replace all on-the-spot tours by people themselves.

To begin with, TV and internet can only provide 2-D pictures or movies on screen, while this is quite different from the real sceneries. Just contrast a TV tour in Hawaii and a real tour there. On TV people can see the gorgeous beach, charming hula and attractive sea food. A real tour, on the other hand, can cover all of these and what is more important, include far more than these. Tourists there can enjoy the sands and sunshine by themselves, communicate with native people to know their culture better, and taste the real delicious food. None of these can be achieved by a TV tour. In fact, all the glamors of a famous spot could be revealed only when one is there, to see it, to listen it, to smell it, to touch it, and to feel it: in a word, to experience it by oneself.学习，我也用了这个句式，写的就没你有力度。 Only in this way can the full meaning of tourism be achieved. More expensive though a real tour is, it is nevertheless worth the cost.
连MONEY的问题也考虑到了。。。。。。。
What is more, TV programs cannot satisfy many personal interests. Different persons might have distinct favors and interests on the same key point of interest.对同一景点的兴趣爱好还有不同。 A history major and an architecture major, for instance, might have quite different preferences on a program about ancient Greek and Rome. Unfortunately, it is always decided by the TV director which part and which perspective to shot. A public program can hardly cover all special requests from audience. Hence, a person having a special interest has to visit the place he or she interested in and explore it in person.
呵呵，终于有话说了。这一段写的还是不错，不过有点狡猾。为什么是 program about ancient Greek and Rome,而不是perspective programs on ancient Greek and Rome 呢？实际上，即使找不到这样有针对性的电视节目，从INTERNET上找到满足各自需要的信息还是不难的。不过你说的也很对。
Besides, TV and worldwide computer connections are actually favoring tourism in many ways. Their advent makes information transmit much faster and easier. When checking e-mail box one can often find some bargains of a tour in somewhere. Sometimes the price is so low that it drives people to the place even if they did not have plans to go there. Even though some tourists are not so lucky to receive these deals, through bargaining on line, they can as well get a much cheaper price than usual.小问题，和usual比，什么时候可以bargaining on line? Moreover, internet also makes it easier to connect with the administration of a resort directly, in which way tourists can easily get updated information to refer in their decision making and book air tickets and hotel rooms in advance. All these help tourists to dismiss their worries and have a reassuring trip.

In summary, it is too early to say that tourism will soon be obsolete. There is something in tourism that can never be substituted by any other means. Tourism is, I believe, more welcome to the advent of TV and worldwide computer connections rather than bearing negative attitude towards them, since TV and internet actually assist, not threat, tourism.

780 words. Compose and revise in 2 and a half hours.
看了几遍，无论是语言结构内容基本上都无懈可击。
不是我拍你马P，你可以得意了。如果上场可以写出这么多字的话。

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

1.by appealing to没有问题。我见过很多。
2。确实可以分段写，但我担心挪到下面去上一段就没有结尾了
3。than usual不一定是时间之间的比较吧，可以是和其他方式的比较啊。

meautoUID: 2116250

Originally posted by tangjihede at 2005-8-8 21:30
1.by appealing to没有问题。我见过很多。
2。确实可以分段写，但我担心挪到下面去上一段就没有结尾了
3。than usual不一定是时间之间的比较吧，可以是和其他方式的比较啊。

1,学习了
2,第一个正文的说理很清楚了.转折感觉有点别扭(以我的水平看)
那for some people,indeed,是不是可以丢掉,换以结尾,然后转折另起.
恩恩恩,我又在瞎说话了,你自己看吧.
3,我以为是时间段上的比较了.

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

好。另起一段。算是一个小过渡段吧。