ARGUMENT218 寄托4人组 8月9日

meautoUID: 2116250

argument 218
The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Hyper-Go Toy Company.
'Last year, sales of our Fierce Fighter toy airplane declined sharply, even though the toy had been a top seller for three years. Our customer surveys show that parents are now more worried about youthful violence and are concerned about better education for their children. Therefore, to maintain profits we should discontinue all our action toys and focus exclusively on a new line of educational toys. Several other toy companies have already begun marketing educational toys and report sales increases last year of 200 percent. And since the average family income is growing, sales of new Hyper-Go toys should also increase.'
------正文------
反驳1， 为保持赢利HGTC应该停止生产动作玩具
        可能 FF AILPLANE只是公司生产的多种动作玩具之一，总的动作玩具实际上是赢利的
        FF AIRPLANE的销售下滑可能来自宣传等方面的问题，即使改生产别的玩具，公司还是不能赢利
2，家长会为孩子买更多的教育玩具
   也许他们会投资在书籍，录象，乐器等方面。
   上涨的收入用来支付上涨的学费，家庭开支等，没有多余的钱来买玩具
3， 别的卖教育玩具的公司收入增加
    可能收入增加来自他们的动作玩具
    新成立的公司很容易有相对较大的赢利上涨。
Before the president of Hype-Go Toy Company (HGTC) finally decides to substitute educational toys for action ones as their main product, three facets of this memo should be reexamined to make it more useful.

To begin with, the memo fails to convince us that HGTC should discontinue ALL their action toys to maintain profits. However, Fierce Fighter toy airplane may be just one of various action toys that HGTC are marketing. Maybe other series of toy airplanes or toy tanks of HGTC, thanks to their successful advertisings, won people's love and their money from Fierce Fighter airplane. If the overall profits of action toys soared last year, then conclusion to discontinue all action toys does not stand water. Even if sales of all the HGTC action toys shrank last year, the problem may lie in the awkward advertising, package, and distribution of the company. Then to stop producing action toys for other kinds of toys still contributes nothing to regain profitable sales.

Second, the president unfairly thinks that parents' care about better education for their children and their growing purchasing power will bring HGTC profits, if the company switches to educational toys. Yet this is not the case. For one thing, parents may be more willing to invest in books, video tapes, and musical instruments than in toys, which are of a less profound educational influence on children. For another, the increase of tuitions, rents, electricity and water bills may also parallel the growing family income. In this sense, less likely are parents to spend more money, and even less, on any toys than did in last year. The educational toy oriented plan, however, would probably fail to up the sales of HGTC for either of these scenarios.

Further putting the president's decision into question is the sales information from other toy companies. Although their sales rose by 200 percent, is this increase, however, due to marketing educational toys? Entirely possible is that the sales surged for their own action toys, or puffy toys, which had nothing to do with their educational toys. What is more, if these companies are newly established ones, their 200 percent climbing in profits will amount to meaningless reference for HGTC, since most new toy companies, whatever their product is, are likely to achieve a relatively rocketing increase in their first year or two.
In conclusion, this memorandum on product issue of HGTO is limited. Besides customer survey, sales of all the HGTO toys and the operating of referred companies should bear closer scrutiny to make the memo more convincing.

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

占座。等了一天了。。。

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

argument 218
The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Hyper-Go Toy Company.
'Last year, sales of our Fierce Fighter toy airplane declined[how much？下降不代表就少] sharply, even though the toy had been a top seller for three years[质量下滑？]. Our customer surveys [validity？]show that parents are now more worried about youthful violence[和玩具有必然联系么？concern就一定不买了么？] and are concerned about better education for their children[上学？买电脑？不一定是玩具]. Therefore, to maintain profits[利润真的少了么？就算是，社会大环境因素？] we should discontinue all [扩大化]our action toys and focus exclusively[不光是action toys，其他的也不生产了] on a new line of educational toys[成本？市场？研发人员？]. Several other toy companies[市场竞争？饱和] have already begun marketing educational toys and report sales increases[是来自教育玩具的increase么？] last year of 200 percent. And since the average family income is growing[开销涨了没？有钱就不能干别的？], sales of new Hyper-Go toys should also increase.'
------正文------
反驳1， 为保持赢利HGTC应该停止生产动作玩具
        可能 FF AILPLANE只是公司生产的多种动作玩具之一，总的动作玩具实际上是赢利的
        FF AIRPLANE的销售下滑可能来自宣传等方面的问题，即使改生产别的玩具，公司还是不能赢利
2，家长会为孩子买更多的教育玩具
   也许他们会投资在书籍，录象，乐器等方面。
   上涨的收入用来支付上涨的学费，家庭开支等，没有多余的钱来买玩具
3， 别的卖教育玩具的公司收入增加
    可能收入增加来自他们的动作玩具
    新成立的公司很容易有相对较大的赢利上涨。
Before the president of Hype-Go Toy Company (HGTC) finally decides to substitute educational toys for action ones as their main product, three facets of this memo should be reexamined to make it more useful.[不错的开头，新颖；简洁。但最后一个词换成说服力之类的词吧]

To begin with, the memo fails to convince us that HGTC should discontinue ALL their action toys to maintain profits. However, [????怎么转了？]Fierce Fighter toy airplane may be just one of various action toys that HGTC are marketing. Maybe other series of toy airplanes or toy tanks of HGTC, thanks to[owing to] their successful advertisings[advertisements？], won people's love[preference？] and their money from[from什么意思？other than？] Fierce Fighter airplane. If the overall profits of action toys soared last year, then [the]conclusion to discontinue all action toys does not stand water[没见过。你确定么？]. Even if sales of all the HGTC action toys shrank last year, the problem may lie in the awkward advertising, package[packaging], and distribution of the company. Then to stop producing action toys for[of] other kinds of toys[delete of toys] still contributes nothing to regain profitable sales.

Second, the president unfairly thinks that parents' care about better education for their children and their growing purchasing power[原文说income涨，可没说购买力涨了，而这是可以攻击的一个点] will bring HGTC profits, if the company switches to educational toys. Yet this is not[necessarily] the case. For one thing, parents may be more willing to invest in books, video tapes, and musical instruments than in toys, which are of a less profound educational influence[不一定吧。一个教育玩具能集中上面各种] on children. For another, the increase of tuitions, rents, electricity and water bills may also parallel the growing family income. In this sense, less likely are parents to spend more money, and even less[？？别扭], on any toys than [they]did in last year. The educational toy oriented plan, however, would probably fail to up the sales of HGTC for either of these scenarios.

Further putting the president's decision into question [good phrase！]is the sales information from other toy companies. Although their sales rose by 200 percent, is this increase, however, due to marketing educational toys? Entirely possible is that the sales surged for their own action toys, or puffy toys, which had nothing to do with their educational toys. What is more, if these companies are newly established ones, their 200 percent climbing in profits will amount to meaningless reference for HGTC, since most new toy companies, whatever their product is, are likely to achieve a relatively rocketing increase in their first year or two.
In conclusion, this memorandum on product issue of HGTO is limited. Besides customer survey, sales of all the HGTO toys and the operating of referred companies should bear closer scrutiny to make the memo more convincing.
[感觉本文的结构有些松散，不是特别清晰。你用的是分点式的方式，而我个人更欣赏层层递进式的攻击。比如:1。销量下降利润就少么？就算FF的利润少了，其他actionT呢？如果利润很好，干吗要转行
2．就算at的利润都少了，就一定是家长关心暴力的原因么？有根据说我们的玩具会导致暴力么？就算家长认为会，就一定能抵挡孩子的压力不买了么？是不是因为其他原因导致的呢？比如质量问题，广告问题。如果是，在这些方面多着手就行了。
3．就算AT真的混不下去了，就一定要都转到ET么？没说我们的其他的玩具也不行啊，凭什么一锅端啊？
4．就算其他的也不行了，ET就能行么？首先我们有这个技术来搞这个么？成本有多大？其次，进行市场调研了么？家长关心教育又不一定买ET。谁说他们收入长了就会多买玩具？购买力真的长了么？就算长了还干别的呢。第三，就算家长会买，我们能搞，就能真赚钱么？别的厂利润的增长和Et有关系么？就算他们通过ET发了大财，市场是不是已经饱和了，干不了了？
这样是不是逻辑更严密也更有层次？供参考。]

meautoUID: 2116250

学习中~~~~