issue51 寄托4人组 8月9日

meautoUID: 2116250

051 Education will be truly effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student
提纲：1，怎样确定一个学生的兴趣和需要所在？实际上，只有在涉及不同的学科范围后，才能知道哪些是自己喜欢的，哪些是自己讨厌的。所以，确定一个学生的兴趣爱好，首先需要的就是一个全面的教育。
      2，针对个人兴趣的教育实际上在gathering and hunting society行不通。一个在这样的社会中长大的孩子，即使他对绘画表现出强烈的兴趣，他也必须学习和其他人一样的谋生技巧。否则，很有可能饿死。
3资金问题 政府无力承担，由个人支付
       4，承认兴趣的作用:按照兴趣和需要的教育可以让学生做出自己的最大贡献。

To be truly effective should our education be oriented to the individual needs and interests of students? Although interests and needs serve as a driving force for students to make their maximum contributions, I contend with the speaker for the following reasons.

Before we make a choice between an individual-centered education and a well-rounded one, it is necessary to identify where a student’s interest lies. After all, only through accessing to different bodies of knowledge and participation in diverse activities do people know their focus of interests. A well-rounded education affords us this opportunity. Take Stephen Hawking, the noted astrophysicist in our age, for example. Before he finally narrowed his academic career in astrophysics, he took a variety of courses ranging from mathematics, to chemistry, and to history. It is when he touched and then deeped into astrophysics, that he found out his interest and strength, conducive to determine his research path. This is a situation that students, each holding only one key in hands, now facing more than one door our education provide. Matching is possible only when a student tries all, at least some, of the doors. In another word, students need a broad education to discover their interests.

On the other hand, a successful education should consider that whether it can prepare the educated for their future life. For example, how a child is educated in postindustrial world often differs enormously form that of another living in gathering and hunting socialites. Although both of them may exhibit equivalent fondness for painting, usually only the former would be given the chance to become an artist in adulthood. For the child in societies not powered by electricity, his/her interest in painting would soon give its way to mastering survival abilities, such as horse-riding, trapping, and hunting, with others. On the contrary, to educate children in gathering and hunting societies is to make them starve.

Moreover, who is to pay the money and human resources for an education system directed specifically for students, as the speaker asserts?  A specially modified education will no doubt be more expensive than one that fits all. Obviously, governmental and federal supports will be far less than the overall expense for millions of students----part and parcel though education is, there are other problems pressing for appropriation: AIDS awareness, unemployment, pollution, and so on. After all, it is unfair and problematic to spend all from taxpayers to benefit just part of them. Let students finance the intuition by themselves? Fine, while the rich are better equipped for their up societal stability, the poor on the other side, unable to afford an expensive education, will probably lose their chance to change their situations. When education aggravates the social inequality, it is not of something effective for potential students as a whole but a luxury for the few.  

However, an education ignoring the needs and interests of individuals will obstacles students, especially the young, to make their biggest contribution to society. What will be if Yao’ father raised him up as a mathematician, and forced him to pursue a PhD after his graduation form high school? While there is also possibility of a newborn star in academia, what now I am sure is NBA missing a super player, Chinese basketball funs losing their pride, and Yao’s own waste of his height and talents unused. In short, people who receive education blind to their interests and demand are deprived the opportunity to take advantage of their talents to the fullest extent.

In conclusion, without a broad education, students might have difficulty in finding their true interests. For financial concerns and the development of individuals, what we need is a well-rounded education caring individual interests and needs to some extent.

[ Last edited by meauto on 2005-8-9 at 18:08 ]

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

taken:)

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

051 Education will be truly effective when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student

提纲：提纲中最好把观点摆清楚更好些：）
1，怎样确定一个学生的兴趣和需要所在？实际上，只有在涉及不同的学科范围后，才能知道哪些是自己喜欢的，哪些是自己讨厌的。所以，确定一个学生的兴趣爱好，首先需要的就是一个全面的教育。
      2，针对个人兴趣的教育实际上在gathering and hunting society行不通。一个在这样的社会中长大的孩子，即使他对绘画表现出强烈的兴趣，他也必须学习和其他人一样的谋生技巧。否则，很有可能饿死。
3资金问题 政府无力承担，由个人支付
       4，承认兴趣的作用:按照兴趣和需要的教育可以让学生做出自己的最大贡献。发现你的文章好象比较多在结尾处表示同意部分作者的观点，我个人认为在开头好一些，之前也有不少人讨论过这个问题，比较多的人还是认为在开头好一些，因为即使是你论证的再有力，如果结尾处突然又承认对方的观点有合理性，说服力打了折扣
To be truly effective should our education be oriented to the individual needs and interests of students? Although interests and needs serve as a driving force for students to realize their greatest potential and make their maximum contributions学生应该不是只要做贡献的吧，发展个人才能是最重要的, I contend 这个词似乎不好，建议换掉with the speaker for the following reasons.如果能简单把原因的key words说一点就好了，for the following感觉过于呆板
Before we make a choice between an individual-centered education and a well-rounded one, it is necessary to identify where a student’s interest lies. After all, only through accessing 这个词可以是名词也可以是动词，这里没有必要用动词，因为要和participation对称to different bodieskinds of knowledge and participation in diverse activities do people know their focus of interests. A well-rounded education affords us this opportunity. Take Stephen Hawking, the noted astrophysicist in our age, for an example. Before he finally narrowed his academic career in astrophysics, he took a variety of courses ranging from mathematics, to 删chemistry, and to history. It is when he touched and then deeped into astrophysics, that he found out his interest and strength, conducive to determine his research path.这句话比较的chinglish：it is when he engages in the stduy of astrophysics， he finally finds where his interests lie。This is a situation that students, each holding only one key in [/color]hands, now facing more than one door our education provide. 这个比喻似乎不是很恰当，比喻本身表述也不够清楚：）Matching is possible only when a student tries all, at least some, of the doors. In another word, students need a broad education to discover their interests.

On the other hand, a successful education should consider that whether it can prepare the educated for their future life. 这里最好给一两句论证后再给例子，否则给人的感觉是急着给例子，而不是论证你的观点了For example, how a child is educated in postindustrial world often differs enormously form that of another living in gathering and hunting socialites. Although both of them may exhibit equivalent fondness for painting, usually only the former would be given the chance to become an artist in adulthood. For the child in societies not powered by electricity,很怪，难道电的存在与否与是否成为画家关系很大吗？ his/her interest in painting would soon give its way to mastering survival abilities, such as horse-riding, trapping, and hunting, with others. 工业革命之前人类也并非用这几个手段谋生的哦，那是在原始社会了On the contrary, to educate children in gathering and hunting societies is to make them starve.

Moreover, who is to pay the money and human resources for an education system directed specifically for students, as the speaker asserts?  A specially modified education will no doubt be more expensive than one that fits all. Obviously, governmental and federal supports will be far less than the overall expense for[color=Red] needed by millions of students----part and parcel though education is, there are other problems pressing for appropriation: AIDS awareness, unemployment, pollution, and so on. 这里对比的不合适，因为解决那些问题同支持教育是不应该冲突的After all, it is unfair and problematic to spend all from taxpayers to benefit just part of them. Let students finance the intuition by themselves? Fine, while the rich are more  financially adequate， the poor on the other side, unable to afford an expensive education, will probably lose their chance to change their life. When education aggravates the social inequality, it is not of something effective for all of the potential students as a whole 删but a luxury for the few.  

However, an education ignoring the needs and interests of individuals will obstacles 这个是名词students, especially the young, to make their biggest contribution to society.同上，学生主要是发展个人才能，主要任务不是做贡献这里先分析一下你为什么认为兴趣重要，然后再举姚的例子更好 What will be if Yao’ father raised him up as a mathematician, and forced him to pursue a PhD after his graduation form high school? While there is also possibility of a newborn star in academia, what now 换到句末好I am sure is NBA missing a super player, Chinese basketball funs losing their pride, and Yao’s own waste of his height 怪的用法and talents unused. In short, people who receive education blind to their interests and demand are deprived the opportunity to take advantage of their talents to the fullest extent.

In conclusion, without a broad education, students might have difficulty in finding their true interests. For financial concerns and the development of individuals, 这两个词组不并列对称的what we need is a well-rounded education caring individual interests and needs to some extent.

总体评语：观点尚清晰，但是感觉语言和句式上的问题还比较大，汉语式的英语的在有的地方比较明显。论证的时候不要急于给例子，可以加大逻辑论证的力度，分析了之后再举例子更有说服力：）建议你自己要再认真看一看

[ Last edited by 哥哥家有二师兄 on 2005-8-9 at 19:26 ]

meautoUID: 2116250

恩恩,收到.一定细看~

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

提点小建议：
我昨天改了马甲的Issue，今天也看了一下这一篇。感觉你费了不少功夫去找例子，其实例子就在身边！为省时起见，还是把功夫用到锤炼逻辑上来。
比如你昨天那个图坦哈蒙墓也就提了一嘴（我本科是学考古的，大体知道一些。），光是那个名字你考场上未必就拼得出来，而且这个例子在你那篇文章中对逻辑的贡献率只能是平平。所以，建议不要给自己增加额外的负担，而是使用最能使逻辑cogent，最fit，而又是你最熟悉的例子。

呵呵，仅供参考！

[ Last edited by bridgewalker on 2005-8-9 at 19:36 ]

meautoUID: 2116250

楼上的建议非常中肯 谢过了.
其实到现在还在奇怪逻辑是什么:confused:

有人说写ISSUE就象证明一个定理
我要学习的东西还很多


至于那个啥涂炭卡门,是我6G就写过的了.恩恩

MS我们组里我的作文最差,哈哈

alexliu925UID: 2125721

感觉最后姚明的例子虽然说了很多，但是没有说到点子上。
这个例子的关键是说姚明从小的兴趣是在篮球上面，所以有了现在的成就。
而搂主仅仅说如果姚明不选择篮球，他就浪费了它的的高度和打篮球的天赋。这就就变成论述天赋在一个人成功中的作用了。
估计这就是Issue中的逻辑吧。
:)

meautoUID: 2116250

一个一个消化:o
楼上的未免也太明显了吧

meautoUID: 2116250