argument127 G-89-互助社-8月9日同主题写作 请拍

jason0926UID: 200697

写的不好,自己都看不下去了
127.The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
'In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits.'

In this argument, the arguer claims that the company should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations to improve employees' productivity. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that it can prevent employees from wasting time. However, this alone neither constitutes a logical argument in favor of the conclusion nor provides compelling support making the argument sound. The arguer ignores certain important concerns, which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from three flaws.

First of all, this system of electronic monitoring only have effect on preventing  employees from wasting time in personal activities when they are playing on Internet. However, if employees do not play on Internet but just use computer to do other personal activities, can the system of electronic monitoring control and restrict tit? Moreover, without using computer, employees also do not  manage businesses but chat with other people or go to the market for shopping. So it is not informed that employees can improve their efficiencies after  implementing electronic monitoring.

In addition, can the employees certainly change their attitudes after  implementing electronic monitoring? we do not know what the original attitudes of employees are before install the system and whether playing the computer has effect on finishing the assignment in company. It is possible that employees dissatisfy the measure by company and do not try their best to work, that is saying, they become negative and repel the company slinkingly. If to do so, it is not good for both the efficiency of employees and profits of company.

Finally, there is no relationship between improving the profits and implementing electronic monitoring. The profit, in fact, not only depends on the efficiency of employees, but also rely on many aspects such as reduction of cost, sale of productions, strategy of leader etc. Furthermore, implementing this system is also a spending--we do not know how much the cost is. And whether can lead to some new problems such as reducing the speed of computers after installing it? The company need to repair these computer if they are destoryed by installing software. So there is no evidence to show that it is necessary for the company to install the software in order to prevent employees from wasting time when they are working.

To sum up, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in the analysis the evidence, which does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. To making the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to take the following conditions into consideration: consider the necessity of installing software; confirm the way to improve the efficiency of employees. If the argument includes the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and adequate.

polymathUID: 179557

别气馁！兄弟！:)

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

顶一下
晚点来看哈
这是偶滴  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

In this argument, the arguer claims that the company should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations to improve employees' productivity. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that it can prevent employees from wasting time. However, this alone neither constitutes a logical argument in favor of the conclusion nor provides compelling support making the argument sound. 这句话是个魔板吧。觉得用在这里，有点怪，不过应该也可以。这句话挺好的。The arguer ignores certain important concerns, which must be addressed to prove. In my point of view, the argument suffers from three flaws.

First of all, this system of electronic monitoring only have effect on preventing  employees from wasting time in personal activities when they are playing on Internet. However, if employees do not play on Internet but just use computer to do other personal activities, can the system of electronic monitoring control and restrict tit? 好，偶没想到呢。赞Moreover, without using computer, employees also do not manage businesses but chat with other people or go to the market for shopping. So it is not informed that employees can improve their efficiencies after implementing electronic monitoring.这段考虑得很好
In addition, can the employees certainly change their attitudes after implementing electronic monitoring? We do not know what the original attitudes of employees are before install the system and whether playing the computer has effect on finishing the assignment in company. It is possible that employees dissatisfy the measure by company and do not try their best to work, that (which) is saying, they become negative and repel the company slinkingly. If to do so, it is not good for both the efficiency of employees and profits of company.

Finally, there is no relationship between improving the profits and implementing electronic monitoring. The profit, in fact, not only depends on the efficiency of employees, but also rely on many aspects such as reduction of cost, sale of productions, strategy of leader etc.利润主要是依靠revenue-cost. Furthermore, implementing this system is also a spending—(?one that )we do not know how much the cost is. And whether can lead to some new problems such as reducing the speed of computers after installing it? The company need(needs) to repair these computer if they are destoryed(destroyed) by installing software. So there is no evidence to show that it is necessary for the company to install the software in order to prevent employees from wasting time when they are working.

To sum up, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in the analysis the evidence, which does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. To making the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to take the following conditions into consideration: consider the necessity of installing software; confirm the way to improve the efficiency of employees. If the argument includes the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and adequate.

总体很好呢！！看来楼主的a已经修炼成功了阿  羡慕ing
加油吧:victory: