issue59 高频，行为榜样和独立思考，588词，有回必应！

cmcm263UID: 204930

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Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them.
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I agree with the speaker's statement insofar as simply copy others' thoughts and actions without any personal pondering is not proper and rational, and that one should make choices based on his(her) own condition. However, in my view the speaker turns a blind eyes to the bright side of role models and, from my own observation, I am convinced that to be or not to be a independent thinker(actor) is determined more by our way to think and to act than any other exterior factors including influence of role models.

First, the implicite rationale behind the speaker's statement seems to be that role models hamper our independent thinking and influence our decision making. It is ture that utter copy is by no means a reasonable or a wisdom dealing. After all, how can we expect a single style of healthy life work in two different indivduals with exactlly the same way since there is no two person precisely the same in the world? By the same token, how can a company achieve its success just clone a set of principle, cause of actions, and marketing policies of another corparation? However, it is unfair to entirely blame our role models.In fact, not all learner just cope the way a role model do and think. Sage and sucessful learners would (likely to) acquire useful inspirations from studying their role models, and make their own judgements.

Secondly, role models as “models” is useful as well as necessary as our acting guidance. As we are all aware, little children learn by imitating people around to a large extent. They pick up languish abilities from doing the same thing in the same way of families aroud them, and they learn to finish several personal affairs just by copying their parents' actions. Thus, in this sense,(这个表达是自己编的，要说的是：在这个意义上)role models are absolutely necessarily. Mreover, a partly and selectively copy can bring on a desired outcome.  This may be illustrated by looking at case of Wanjia, which is a famous Chinese retail chain. By using the mode of Wal-Mart, plus catering to the local consumers’ preference, Wanjia achieves a significant development now and, win billions of revenue annually.

Finally, Whether people thinking or acting independently is determined by interior factors. It's the way that we seek information and how we apply it that makes us dependent or independent thinkers. When we uncritically accept whatever values or ideas we've been taught by parents, teachers or church, never questioning these ideas or asking ourselves if these ideas really make sense, we are dependent thinkers(even if the ideas are true!). The point is if we making sense of the world based on our own observations and experiences rather than just depending on the words of others. In brief, no matter how much we think of and role models and learn form them, we can alway be independent if we trust our own ability to make judgments.

In the final analysis, the speaker's threshold claim that copying others serves to encumber peopel from acting and thinking thoroughly on their own oversimplifies the relationship between them, though the speaker has payed attention to the dark side. Besides, in term of causations of independent thinking and acting, the speaker's assertion violates my personal observation and knowledge. In fact, unlike the speaker's point, people can be indenpendent thinker by partly mimic role model if we are not uncritically accept whatever values or ideas.

mike_dexterGMUID: 172207

楼主写的文章已经比较强了，立意和结构上没问题了。
在下愚见，不足之处在于：语法上有些小错误（练习时尽量避免，到机考试很紧张，语法错误更难避免的），感觉有些句子刻意追求长度了，意义反而模糊（也许是我水平不够，呵呵），楼主句子中用了很多I、WE开头的主动句，例如倒数第二段末句，改为“In brief,
learning experiences and virtue from models does not necessarily lead to the loss of
our independence in the process of judgement making。”是否显得更客观？最后我觉得那个连锁店的例子可以再详细些，有点数字和人名就更有说服力了。
楼主不可尽信我言，只可作为参考，希望能有帮助。--- mike_dexterGM

cmcm263UID: 204930

谢谢mike_dexterGM 的点评，你真是好人啊
你对body段末的修改确实比较客观和得体
另外， 我对wanjia连锁店的情况也不甚了解。如果是考试的时候就胡乱吹一些数字吧
你给我提了个醒

ps：我在gter上发的文章还没人帮我看过，你是第一位！