Issue48 高频限时

dapopiUID：191236

Issue48  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

syllabus
1.创造历史的主体是人民群众
2.英雄人物对历史有巨大的推动作用
3.研究少数领袖更容易获得历史真相
   研究大众是困难而不可行的


------题目------
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------正文------
As every coin has its two sides, there are two points of view in the study of history. The speaker asserts that we should put more emphasis on individuals rather than famous ones.  Though I concede that the importance of group people in history, however, putting more emphasis on famous individuals is the character of history research and this way of study is rational and necessary.

Admittedly, no one can deny the importance roles played by group of people. In most event of history, famous ones are just a part of them. They are the basis of history without whom few leaders can never accomplish the events in most cases. For instance, Lincoln is the famous hero of American history because his efforts in civil war. However, without thousands of soldiers' thriving in the battle, without the supports from all people loving free and democracy, Lincoln cannot change the status of American. Therefore, group of people devoted more efforts than few leaders in innovation.

However, it is also rational for us to study of the heroes. Anyway few heroes own the huge power to change history. Besides, the character and history research decides that only put more emphasis on few individuals can we know better about the truth of history.

In the first place, few famous individuals can change many people's destiny even a nation's fortune because of their talent and power. Albert Einstein, one of the most famous physics in history is marked by history not only his "Theory of Relativity" but also his efforts in atomic bomb, which changed the status of the Second World War. Yet the history may be in a different way if he didn't move to American and still left in Germany. Another example from China, the famous statesman DengXiaoping has changed the status of China greatly because of his policy in economy. Without his deep thought in Market Economy, China could not have continuous progress in economy. As referred above, when we referred to certain history event, it is unavoidable marked by few individuals.  

In the second place, few individuals give much information about history than group of people. The experience of studying in history reveal that put more emphasis on group of people will be futile. Few Heroes are more noted by historians and litterateurs as their greatness. If we go to library, there are numerous book about heroes we want to know; if we enter their name in google's site, there will be numerous information about them, all of these information can support our research of the history event related to them. But if we want to take a research on a group of people or certain man who is not famous, we will find it so difficult that we even don not know his or her name. Therefore, lack of information is the barrier of unfamous people's research.

To sum up, we must concede that the importance of group, however, putting more emphasis on famous individuals is the law of history research and this way of study is rational and necessary which is proved by history research experience.

[ Last edited by dapopi on 2005-8-10 at 20:20 ]

foreveraUID：202035

As every coin has its two sides, there are two points of view in the study of history. 哪2个point?The speaker asserts that we should put more emphasis on common individuals rather than famous ones. 同义表达不错Though I concede that the importance of group people in history that后面应该接从句, however有though了就最好不要用however了, putting more emphasis on famous individuals is the character of history research and this way of study is rational and necessary.

Admittedly, no one can deny the importance roles词性问题 played by group of people. In most event of history, famous ones are just a part of them. They这个they指代有问题 are the basis of history without whom few leaders can never accomplish the events in most cases. For instance, Lincoln is the famous hero of American history because his efforts in civil war. However, without thousands of soldiers' thriving这个词用的不太恰当吧 in the battle, without the supports from all people loving free 啥意思,没看明白and democracy, Lincoln cannot应该用过去时,或者更好一点用过去完成时 change the status of American. Therefore, group of people devoted more efforts than few leaders in innovation.

However, it is also rational for us to study of the heroes. Anyway few heroes own这个词用的不够恰当 the huge power to change history. Besides, the character and history research decides that only put more emphasis on few individuals can we know better about the truth of history.

In the first place, few famous individuals can change many people's destiny even a nation's fortune because of their talent and power. Albert Einstein, one of the most famous physics physicists in history is marked by history not only for his "Theory of Relativity" but also forhis efforts in atomic bomb, which changed the status of the Second World War. Yet the history may be in a different way reverseif he didn't move to American and still left in Germany. Another example from China, the famous statesman DengXiaoping has changed the status of China greatly because of his policy in economy. Without his deep thought in Market Economy, China could not have continuous progress in economy. As referred above, when we referred to certain history event, it is unavoidable marked by few individuals.  这段写的不错.不过还应该注意一下用词的准确性

In the second place, few individuals give much information about history than group of people. The experience of studying in history reveal revealsthat put more emphasis on group of people will be futile这个词很不错,学习学习. Few Heroes are more noted by historians and litterateurs as for their greatness. If we go to library, there are numerous book about heroes we want to know; if we enter their name in google's site, there will be numerous information about them, all of these information can support our research of the history event related to them. But if we want to take a research on a group of people or certain man who is not famous, we will find it so difficult that we even don not know his or her name. Therefore, lack of information is the barrier of unfamous people's research.感觉这段的逻辑性就差点了，hero之所以能够提供更多的info是因为他们是人群的代表,研究他们就可以研究出人群的典型characteristic,而关于他们的record比较多也是因为他们的characteristic更加typical而且更容易被人发现和被历史学家表达出来. 这是俺个人的意见...HOHO

To sum up, we must concede that the importance of group 和上面一样的毛病, however, putting more emphasis on famous individuals is the law of history research and this way of study is rational and necessary which is proved by history research experience.


总体感觉还不错,就是一些小毛病应该注意,(HOHO,俺自己的小毛病也很多),而且正文最后一段应该再考虑一下.

dapopiUID：191236

谢谢
最后一段是实在没时间了   <1min
草草收尾啊～

谢谢点评，偶就是火候不够，用字的错误太多拉

foreveraUID：202035

呵呵...大家都加油了...我现在写作文都不限时的, 不过俺9.15才要考,暂时还不急着限时...HOHO