argument172 G-89-互助社－８.１０写得最带劲的一篇

melinda2036UID: 2108044

172The Mozart School of Music should obviously be the first choice of any music student aware of its reputation. First of all, the Mozart School stresses intensive practice and training, so that students typically begin their training at a very young age. Second, the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, and its faculty includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the best known and most highly paid musicians in the nation.

The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice of any music student
In this argument, the arguer states that the Mozart School of Music should be the first choice of any music student aware of its reputation. To support, the arguer presents that the Mozart School stresses intensive praticae and training as well as that the school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, and its faculty also includes some of the most distinguished music teachers in the world. The arguer further addresses that many school graduates have gone on to be the best known musicians. This argument is based on problematic reasoning and ultimately unconvincing.

First of all, the intensive practise and training provided by that music school cannot be the obvious advantage for a music school, for they are fundamental courses needed to teach music students. It is known to all that to be a famous or excellent musician, one must pay a hard work through consistent pratcising and training. So no matter a normal or an outstanding music school should provide the intensive practise and training to their students to ensure they receive enough basic training. So this cannot be the reason for the arguer to advise music students to choose this school.

Secondly, the arguer states that the Mozart school has ample facilities and up-to-date professional equipment, which show that the condition of the facility is excellent. It may show some advantage to other schools which lack the superior surroundings as this school. However, it arouses another question, the payment of these facilities and equipment may distribute to every matriculated students. So it is possible that the fee or tuition for each student is higher than other schools, or sometimes the tuition is so high that the normal music students who are aware of this school’ reputation cannot finance. Moreover, it is doubtful whether these most up-to-date professional equipment is useful or not in the teaching process, for students need learn the basic knowledge or skills which may have no relationship with these equipment. So these equipment may simply add the tuition and do no good to students’ learning.

Finally, the arguer presents that many Mozart graduates have gone on to be the best known and most highly paid musicians in the nation. It should be defined that “many” here means many among every year graduates or among the total graduates including these who graduated previous years. If the latter, then taking the student’ intelligence and capability into account, even the most horrible school may have some or many outstanding graduates who gain reputation as well as success through their own harding working and gold opportunities. Then this possiblity further weakens the argument and cannot support that the Mozart School of Music is worthy of entering.

In summary, the arguer fails to provide vigorous material to prove that the Mozart School is really better than other schools in their teaching methods or education tenet. He or she also fails to provide enough information on the tuition or fees or school surroundings to support that this school is obviously the first choice for music students. Without these useful information, the whole argument is groundless and unconvincing.
努力再努力

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-12 at 02:57 ]

polymathUID: 179557

顶！

莫名NUID: 146481

这篇文章虽然比较容易找逻辑错误,但是要驳之有理也是不容易的,楼主的逻辑行文基本上是做到了,给了我很多参考

加油哦

melinda2036UID: 2108044

谢谢支持