Argument200 寄托4人组 8-12

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Argument200  第3篇 寄托4人组！
------摘要------
作者：BridgeWalker         357 words
从2005年7月12日12时29分到2005年7月12日12时28分
------题目------
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
------提纲------
1.Statistics不可信。
2.即使可信，也不能说明faint是distress造成的。
3.即使faint是distress造成的，也不能说明在men身上更容易发生。
4.即使men更容易faint，也不一定要将advertising target到men身上。
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker uses statistic evidence and following analysis to suggest that dentists should target the male consumer with anesthetic techniques and their own sensitivity to attract more patients. After a careful examination, I found it is unconvincing, according to major flaws listed below.

To begin with, the statistics mentioned is questionable. The speaker does not provide sufficient details to show credibility of the statistics in representing the general characteristics of the whole population. Are all patients at different age are involved? Are the data only collected in a small region? Or are they only provided by few dentists there? For example, if patients involved in this statistical research are adolescents and only drawn from few dentists in a single town, its reliability is vulnerable.

Furthermore, even if the statistics is reliable, it cannot prove the cause and effect relationship between faintness and distress about having dental work. It is quite possible that these men have other diseases such as anemia and lack of nutrition, etc., which caused the faintness in dentists’ room. It is equally possible that the faintness is due to shortage of water under hot weather situation. Unless these possibilities are ruled out, the speaker’s assertion that is suspicious. In addition, the speaker’s allegation that men are more likely distressed than women is groundless. In contrast with women, men might refuse to use anesthetic drugs, thinking that they are strong enough to resist the pain generated by dentists’ work. As a result, more faintness happened in men.

Moreover, even though men are more vulnerable, the advertisements targeting men might fail. For example, if women consist of the majority of dental patients, dentists who target the male consumer will finally lose a large part of their market share. Additionally, if women incline to have dental illness, the speaker’s suggestion is also unwise.

In conclusion, the argument is dubious attributed to the flaws pointed out above. In order to make it more cogent, credibility of the statistics must be proved, the relationship between faintness and distress from dental work should be carefully examined. The target of advertisement should be reconsidered after a market survey.

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

taken

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Argument200  第3篇 寄托4人组！
------摘要------
作者：BridgeWalker         357 words
从2005年7月12日12时29分到2005年7月12日12时28分
------题目------
Statistics【】 collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint 【while visiting the dentist】. This evidence suggests that men are 【more】 likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their 【anesthetic techniques】 and the 【sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.】
------提纲------
1.Statistics不可信。
2.即使可信，也不能说明faint是distress造成的。
3.即使faint是distress造成的，也不能说明在men身上更容易发生。
4.即使men更容易faint，也不一定要将advertising target到men身上。[ft诈一看还以为是我的作文]
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker uses statistic evidence and following analysis to suggest that dentists should target the male consumer with anesthetic techniques and their own sensitivity to attract more patients. After a careful examination, [however,]I found it is unconvincing, according to major flaws listed below.

To begin with, the statistics mentioned is questionable. The speaker does not provide sufficient details to show credibility of the statistics in representing the general characteristics of the whole population. [Are] all patients at different age[ are] involved? Are the data only collected in a small region? Or are they only provided by few dentists there? For example, if patients involved in this statistical research are adolescents and only drawn from few dentists in a single town, its reliability is vulnerable.

Furthermore, even if the statistics is reliable, it cannot prove the cause and effect [causal relationship or causation 就行了]relationship between faintness and distress about having dental work. It is quite possible that these men have other diseases such as anemia and lack of nutrition, etc., which caused the faintness in dentists’ room.[第一，这点可以放到统计的有效性上；第二，似乎有些牵强，可以说man可能闻见医院的味就容易晕，和牙医没什么关系] It is equally possible that the faintness is due to shortage of water under hot weather situation[还是统计的代表性问题]. Unless these possibilities are ruled out, the speaker’s assertion that is suspicious. In addition, the speaker’s allegation that men are more likely distressed than women is groundless. In contrast with women, men might refuse to use anesthetic drugs, thinking that they are strong enough to resist the pain generated by dentists’ work. As a result, more faintness happened in men.[]

Moreover, even though men are more vulnerable, the advertisements targeting men might fail[as well]. For example, if women consist of the majority of dental patients, dentists who target the male consumer will finally lose a large part of their market share. Additionally, if women incline to have dental illness, the speaker’s suggestion is also unwise.[还可以加强：第一，女病人的市场可能更大；第二，就算男病人不少，他们更关心的也不一定是faint的问题，而是质量等等。没数据证明麻药和关爱比医疗质量更重要。再说，人们都倾向于否认自己会nervous，特别是男病人，看了广告就会觉得不爽。]

In conclusion, the argument is dubious attributed to the flaws pointed out above. In order to make it more cogent, credibility of the statistics must be proved, the relationship between faintness and distress from dental work should be carefully examined. [逗号，小写]The target of advertisement should be reconsidered after a market survey.

[这次的内容有些少啊。首先，第二段的部分内容可以放到第一段集中攻击；然后第二段在承认统计有效的情况下，攻击faint的问题，比如，就算那么多男同志倒下了，但实际上女同胞的反应更大，只是没有表现出来罢了。她们其实更关系麻药和关爱。]

caogenmanchiUID: 2127136

占座，明天写