argument20 "决战830拍砖组™"8月15日作业 同主题高频请狂拍

momo56288860UID: 191433

Argument20  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：30分1秒     534 words
从2005年7月15日21时21分到2005年7月15日21时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
'The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.'
------正文------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
'The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that the town council of Balmer Island is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents by limiting the number of rentals. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that the number of mopeds rented by each of the island`s six moped and bicyale rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season should be limited.In addtion, the arguer cites an example of neighboring island of Torseau which town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals and gained 50 percent reduction in moped accidents. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

In the first place, it is questionable that the measure adopted by the neighboring island of Torseau to limit the number of rentals will achieve similar success at Balmer Island.In this argument, the auger fails to provide the details of Torseau Island and Balmer Island, such as different economic status of the two islands.For instance, if the rent of moped rentals is the main source of Balmer Island, but not the main source of Torseau Island, only wanting to reduce moped accidents and limitting moped rentals, it is not good to the local economy of Balmer Island. Therefore, before the town council of Balmer Island makes the decision to  limit the number of rentals, it should take into account other results.

In the second place, the arguer fails to consider other relevant measure, such as enhancing the road condition, recreasing police force,etc. which may be more effective in reducing accident rates involving mopeds and pedestrians.As we know, the accident rates can be decreased by different valid approachs just as a trouble can being resolved by different ways.

Last but no least, in the absence of any information concerning the causes of accidents in Balmer Island, the arguer is starting the recommendation limit the number of rentals.If main causes of the accidents are not owning so many  mopeds in Balmer Island, even limitting a definite number of mopeds to run on the road, the accidents will happen by any means. To trust us, the arguer needs to offer the information about  accidents` causes.

In conclusion, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer commend.To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more details of the two islands, such as economic status of two islands.To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the causes of accidents in Balmer Island.


汗死了，才发现前面发的这篇文章没有找到，重新发啦，大家有时间拍一下，并留下你的链接，必回拍

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-17 at 01:50 ]

zhizhiUID: 2123761

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the town council of Balmer Island is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents by limiting the number of rentals. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that the number of mopeds rented by each of the island`s six moped and bicyale rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season should be limited.In addtion, the arguer cites an example of neighboring island of Torseau which town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals and gained 50 percent reduction in moped accidents. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.(开头用了太多的篇幅有点喧宾夺主了 重点还是下在正文上面的好:))

In the first place, it is questionable that the measure adopted by the neighboring island of Torseau to limit the number of rentals will achieve similar success at Balmer Island.In this argument（突然冒出来让人觉得不自然 这个词组通常用在文章开头的样子）, the auger fails to provide the details of Torseau Island and Balmer Island, such as different economic status of the two islands.For instance, if the rent of moped rentals is the main source of Balmer Island, but not the main source of Torseau Island, only wanting to reduce moped accidents and limitting moped rentals, it is not good to the local economy of Balmer Island. Therefore, before the town council of Balmer Island makes the decision to  limit the number of rentals, it should take into account other results.（换个词吧 result感觉怪怪的样子 而且不够具体 没有展开说明作者到底忽略了什么）

In the second place, the arguer fails to consider other relevant measure, such as enhancing the road condition, recreasing police force,etc. which may be more effective in reducing accident rates involving mopeds and pedestrians.As we know, the accident rates can be decreased by different valid approachs just as a trouble can being resolved by different ways. （比起开头 这段显得好单薄阿 没有充分展开）

Last but no least, in the absence of any information concerning the causes of accidents in Balmer Island, the arguer is starting the recommendation limit the number of rentals.If main causes of the accidents are not owning so many  mopeds in Balmer Island, even limitting a definite number of mopeds to run on the road, the accidents will happen by any means. To trust us, the arguer needs to offer the information about  accidents` causes.（这一段比较好 逻辑也蛮清晰的:)）

In conclusion, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer commend.To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more details of the two islands, such as economic status of two islands.To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the causes of accidents in Balmer Island.（结尾也不错）

意见：开头在简化下， 正文还需要展开的充分一些。:)
呵呵 加油！！