Issue136 寄托4人组 8-16

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Issue136  第26篇 寄托4人组！
------摘要------
作者：BridgeWalker     共用时间：50分     500 words
从2005年8月15日23时6分到2005年8月15日23时45分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
Is the absence of choice very, very rare? The speaker believes so. However, I totally disagree with his or her assertion. In my opinion, our choice is limited by ourselves as human race, our development of technology, and our political ideology and economy, which will be discussed in turn.

Fundamentally speaking, we are deprived of alternative choices when we were born. After our births, there is a single end, a solitary destination for all of us: death. As a species in the animal kingdom, human race is aging just like other forms of life do. When we were young, we may not notice it, or even ignore it. But when we are growing older, we become weaker, and recognize that death is what we cannot choose but accept. No matter what methods you used to counteract this process, you just slow down your pace toward the grave, but cannot change the direction. In this sense, it might be reasonable to conclude that we are predestined to die without other choices when we were born.

Secondly, the absence of choice is largely caused by our own ability, especially our capability of developing technology. It is nowadays that human beings can drive cars instead of walking, communicate with someone without face-to-face, get education without sitting in the classroom, and even more astonishingly, we can now not only fly in the sky, but also thrust forward to the stars. In previous times when our science and technology stay at a low level, people were denied of the choices that are at hand for us today. No predictor in a primitive tribe has the chance to land on Moon; no farmer in a neolithic village could imagine that all our corps can be harvested by automatic machines. From this perspective, our choices are confined by our present level of technology, and choices that are common for present generations are absent for the previous ones.

Additionally, the absence of choice is also attributed to the political regimes and economy. Both political fabric and economic system determine the choices that are available for us. In the first place, citizens in democratic countries can choose their leaders freely by using the entitled constitutional right of election, while their counterparts under dictatorship are absolutely deprived of this. In the second place, in the market economy, people can purchase goods from tens of thousands of items that are ready for them. To them, the problem is not lack of choice, but too much of them. On the contrary, in the planned economy, it is the other way around. For the shortage of supply, necessities are rationed by the central government, needless to mention the luxury ones. In short, besides our own body and technology, other factors such as politics and economy also impose limitation on the choices that we can make.

In conclusion, since absence of choice is predetermined by our physical nature, and further affected by technology, political ideology and economy, the speaker's allegation is surly groundless.

meautoUID: 2116250

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

占！

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Issue136 寄托4人组 8-16

Issue136  第26篇 寄托4人组！
------摘要------
作者：BridgeWalker     共用时间：50分     500 words
从2005年8月15日23时6分到2005年8月15日23时45分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
Is the absence of choice very, very rare? The speaker believes so. However, I totally disagree with his or her [this? Avoid using “his or her”]assertion. In my opinion, our choice is limited[depends on?? If you keep using “be limited,” then it gives a suggestion that you actually agree with the speaker.] by ourselves as human race, our[the] development of technology, and our political ideology and economy[delete the first “and”], which will be discussed in turn.

Fundamentally speaking, we are deprived of alternative choices when we were born. After our births[After one’s birth,], there is a single end, a solitary destination for all of us[As soon as one was born, a single end and a solitary destination have already been there waiting for(??) ]: death. [As a species in the animal kingdom][avoid using this phrase], human race is aging just like other forms of life do. When we were young, we may not notice it, or even ignore it.[ But when we are growing older,][As growing older and becoming older, however, we begin to realize..] we become weaker, and recognize that death is what we cannot choose but accept. No matter what methods you used[use] to counteract this process, you just slow down your pace toward the grave, but cannot change the direction. In this sense, it might be reasonable to conclude that we are predestined to die without other choices when we were born. [从死亡这个角度太。。偏了吧。你只是列出了一种没有选择的情况，但反对speaker的人可以说，是啊，死是一个没有选择的事例，但有好多别的有啊。。。既看不出你是在支持论者，也看不出是在反对。好像没加入论战的阵营一样。]

Secondly, the absence of choice is largely caused by our own ability, especially [our capability of developing technology][awkward. ]. It is[not until] nowadays that human beings can drive cars instead of walking, communicate with someone without face-to-face, get education without sitting in the classroom, and even more astonishingly, we can now not only fly in the sky, but also thrust forward to the stars. In previous times when our science and technology stay[ed] at a low level, people were denied of the choices that are at hand for us today. No predictor[????] in a primitive tribe has the chance to land on Moon; no farmer in a neolithic village could imagine that all our [delete our. the]corps can be harvested by automatic machines. From this perspective, our choices are confined by our present level of technology, [and choices that are common for present generations are absent for the previous ones.????车轱辘？]

Additionally, the absence of choice is also attributed to the political regimes and economy. Both political fabric and economic system determine the choices that are available for us.[其实和上面一段都在论述一个观点：外在条件决定着人们的选择。] In the first place, citizens in democratic countries can choose their leaders freely by using the entitled constitutional right of election, while their counterparts under dictatorship are absolutely deprived of this. In the second place, in the market economy, people can purchase goods from tens of thousands of items that are ready for them. To them, the problem is not lack of choice, but too much of them. On the contrary, in the planned economy, it is the other way around. Forp[due to] the shortage of supply, necessities are rationed by the central government, needless to mention the luxury ones. In short, besides our own body and technology, other factors such as politics and economy also impose limitation on the choices that we can make.

[In conclusion, since absence of choice is predetermined by our physical nature, and further affected by technology, political ideology and economy, the speaker's allegation is surly groundless.既然要反对少，就要说多。而感觉你文章的论题是：我们的选择和什么有关？or 什么决定了我们的选择？你可以分不同方面展开，但每一层次的侧重都要放在“在这种情况下，选择是很多的”， 而不是“在有些情况下，选择是很多的； 有些是很少的”。你不需要过多的论述少的那一方面，顶多用几句作为让步就可以了。 后两段尚可以这么修改，但你说死亡的那段实在太偏了，看了让人不知所云。
从文章的深度上讲（这个要求可能比较苛刻。。。），你在论述外在条件影响人们的选择中，没有有效的点明这个主题，总让感觉缺少这个明确的中心。而且在具体论述上以现象陈述为主，并且例子没有深入的分。 总之，建议再好好想想这个题目，开拓一下思路。 对例子的分析上我建议以一个为主，深入围绕展开，这样比摆事实要有力。 ]

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

偏了！

kdn917UID: 2103190

In our daily life, there are many questions to be discussed and thought about. Determining whether something should or not should be done could be weighed in many aspects. Different people have different answers due to their respective point of view on balance. For example, there is a growing public concern over the issue of whether the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare. Some people hold the idea that we can not avoid to choose since our life are full of choices. But others have another attitude that there are sometimes that we must absent the choice or absent what we should choose. As far as I concern, I agree with the first opinion and based my idea on the following reasons.
The first and foremost reason why I support above the statement is that choice is a part in our life, and it is the basis of our insistence. We must face the choice every time, and choice is important for our life even our future. For example, when I was a child, I do not have ability to choose what I need and what I should do, but my parents must instead me to make many choices for my future until I have the ability to choose the life for myself, such as what school I went to or which food I must to eat for my health. When I have the ability to choose, I can choose which college I like and which major is good for me in the future by my ability in the examination, later, I must choose the job which I like and which is helpful for my life. There is no better example than this to illustrate the strength of the statement that we cannot absent choice.
In addition, there is another reason for me to choose this statement that without choosing what we have chosen; we never have our present life and everything about us. Everything we have today is the result of what have ever chosen. For instance, the various foods we choose give us a health body, the beautiful clothes we choose, make us have our own personality and make us different from others. Wife and husband, the most important person in our life is also what we choose for our future life. This theory can embody in science, if the inventor and scientist did not make a choice what they had, we will not have the advance life at present. The light bulb, as an illustration, is the choice of insisting after many failures.
Of course, it may be true that we had to absent to choose that let others choose instead us in some conditions, such as the choices our parents choose for us or someone bereave the right of choose of some people in some specific periods. There features, however, can not constitute a sufficient support for all conditions to the theory that it is not rare for the absence of choice, since these circumstance is very, very rare.
To sum up the discussion above, we can also from other respects beside these above to understand the nature of the subject, such as the importance and necessity of choice for our society or our country. So I consider the idea that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare as the right opinion as to my reasons.

kdn917UID: 2103190

大家帮忙啊!!!