Argument191 寄托4人组 8-17

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Argument191  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：37分     450 words
从2005年7月17日19时36分到2005年7月17日20时30分
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The following is a letter from a professor at Xanadu College to the college's president.
'The development of an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program will enhance the reputation of Xanadu College. This program would allow more students to enroll in our courses, thereby increasing our income from student tuition. Traditional courses could easily be adapted for distance learners, as was shown by the adaptation of two traditional courses for our distance learning trial project last year. Also, by using computer programs and taped lectures, faculty will have fewer classroom obligations and more time to engage in extensive research, thereby enhancing the reputation of Xanadu.'
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In this argument, the speaker concludes that Xanadu College (XC) can enhance its reputation simply by developing an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find the reasoning suffers from several critical flaws, which I will address in turn.

To begin with, the increase in enrollment after launching this distance-learning program is unwarranted. The speaker does not provide any information about the quality of these programs and whether other colleges nearby have offered similar high-quality programs. If the quality of XC's learning program is too low to meet students and their parents' expectation, there would be few enrollments. In addition, even assuming that the quality of XC's program is at a high level, if other colleges have offered high-quality long-distance learning programs for a long time, and most students have enrolled in them, the XC's new program might have no markets. As a result, income from student tuition would not increase.

Moreover, the speaker assumes that all traditional courses can be adapted to distance-learning program in the same way. Although two traditional courses have been adapted successfully, the adaptation of others courses might not be equally the same. For instance, it is more convenient to transform book-lecture based courses such as history, philosophy, and the like. However, it is hard or impossible to adapt courses of natural sciences in which experiments is indispensable. In addition, it is also difficult to adapt courses such as sports, dance, drama performance, etc., for practices cannot be carried out via internet or other long-distance transmit techniques.

Furthermore, the speaker also assumes that computer programs and taped lectures would surely save faculty's time to do extensive research. Although long-distance programs might provide some convenience in instruction, however, as the enrollment increase, teachers have to spend more time to answer questions and check assignments from students. As a result, the task might turn out to be too time-consuming that faculties may feel more tired in contrast with traditional instructions.

Last but not least, even granted that this long-distance learning program would save much time for faculties to do extensive research, the enhancement of XC's reputation is unwarranted. The speaker relies this assertion on the assumption that colleges' reputation is only determined by research achievements. Experience tells us that college's reputation is affected by several factors besides faculties' academic works. For example, infrastructure, environment, alumni's accomplishments, the performance of its sports teams, etc., can affect college's reputation to some degree. Moreover, even if faculties had more time, it cannot indicate that the time will be used in researching. Even assuming that all spare time had been spent to do research, more academic achievements are not guaranteed. Accordingly, the reputation of XC might not be increased.

meautoUID: 2116250

睡一小觉先:D

meautoUID: 2116250

In this argument, the speaker concludes that Xanadu College (XC) can enhance its reputation simply by developing an extensive computer-based long-distance learning program. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find the reasoning suffers from several critical flaws, which I will address in turn.

To begin with, the increase in enrollment after launching this distance-learning program is unwarranted. The speaker does not provide any information about the quality of these programs and whether other colleges nearby have offered similar high-quality programs. If the quality of XC's learning program is too low is inferiorto meet students and their parents' expectation,the expectation of students and their parents. there would be few enrollments. In addition, even assuming that the quality of XC's program is at a high level, if other colleges have offered high-quality long-distance learning programs for a long time, and most students have enrolled in them,这一句不要 the XC's new program might have no share in markets. As a result, income from student tuition would not increase.
结尾最好把开头的内容换个说法。即使参加远程教育的人多了，收入还是可能下降。比如说，参加常规教育的人少了，学费的问题，等等。
Moreover, the speaker assumes that all traditional courses can be adapted to distance-learning program in the same way. Although two traditional courses have been adapted successfully, the adaptation of others courses might not be equally the same.注意下这一句的用词。有点怪怪的。考虑下courses might not
be as adaptable For instance, it is more convenient to transform book-lecture based courses such as history, philosophy, and the like. However, it is hard or impossible to adapt courses of natural sciences in which experiments is indispensable.这一句和上一句的句式是一样的，最好换一下 In addition, it is also difficult to adapt courses such as sports, dance, drama performance, etc., for practices cannot be carried out via internet or other long-distance transmit techniques.这里嫌展开过头了，一点点的。

Furthermore, the speaker also assumes that computer programs and taped lectures would surely save faculty's time to do extensive research.,which is not necessarily the case. Although long-distance programs might provide some convenience in instruction, however, as the enrollment increase, teachers have to spend more time to answer questions and check assignments from students. As a result, the task might turn out to be too time-consuming that faculties may feel more tired in contrast with traditional instructions.
as  the enrollment increases, 说委婉点，毕竟这是你第一段反驳的地方，没有给与肯定。其次，是老师在做adapt courses 的工作，录音啥的都浪费时间。
结尾说Teachers may spend more time on online courses that on traditional ones好一点。
Last but not least,LBNL,典型的cliché, 换 even granted that this long-distance learning program would save much time for faculties to do extensive research, the enhancement of XC's reputation is unwarranted. The speaker relies this assertion on the assumption that colleges' reputation is only determined by research achievements. Experience tells us that college's reputation is affected by several factors besides faculties' academic works. For example, infrastructure不能用在这里吧,应该是桥梁道路之类的公共设施才叫infrastructure, environment academic atmosphere, alumni's accomplishments, the performance of its sports teams, etc., can affect college's reputation to some degree. Moreover, even if faculties had more time, it cannot indicate that the time will be used in researching. Even assuming that all spare time had been spent to do research, more academic achievements are not guaranteed. Accordingly, the reputation of XC might not be increased.
把反驳的顺序换一下.先说多余的时间不一定用来做研究,再说研究不一定有成就,有成就了其他方面不好声誉也难以提高.
看见莫名那天给你的回帖了么?我只是不推荐太长的结尾啊,究竟考试的时候要不要结尾,你还是要考虑下的(紧张ING~~)
Finally， 3段开始有些地方语言不够concise