argument145 寄托4人组 8.17作业

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Argument145  
------摘要------
作者：寄托4人组     共用时间：30分2秒     511 words
从2005年7月17日20时33分到2005年7月17日21时30分
------题目------
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
------正文------
By appealing to a new study and a well-known phenomenon: apnea, the author in this argument suggests people who snore should eat less and exercise more. I will argue, however, a close scrutiny will reveal several critical flaws that undermine the author's argument.

To begin with, the validity and representativeness of the new study is open to doubt. The author does not give us any detailed information on how the study was conducted, how many people got involved in this study, what the age and physical situation of these people are, and whether other reasons that might cause gaining weight are excluded. If, for example, the researchers only studied very few people, and they are in an age easier to gain weight, then the result of the study is not representative to most population. Equally possible is that those people have a preference of eating meet rather than eating vegetables, so it might be the food structure, not snoring, that really causes their gaining weigh.

Even granted that the study is valid and representative, the author still fails to give solid evidence that apnea leave the person too tired to exercise. Although in many cases people feeling tired are reluctant to exercise, yet for many other people, exercising is one way to be reduce their tiredness. By jogging, walking, bicycling, for instance, they will build themselves strong bodies and feel better the next day. Without a concrete survey whether those suffering from apnea are willing to exercise or not, the author just takes it for granted that tired people fail to do more body exercise.
       
Even accepted that the author is right that these people are really reluctant to do exercise, it does not necessarily follow that they should try to do more exercise. Under such a condition of gaining weight and feeling tired, exercising might be very harmful to their health, for their body might become weak and needs more rest than average. More exercise, on the contrary, might do nothing but make them fell even tired. Therefore, perhaps what we should do is to suggest them not to exercise more, but have more rest. The author does not offer any information to exclude this worry.

Moreover, the author also fails to prove that they really should try to eat less, out of the concern of losing weight. No evidence is given in the argument that eating less than average will lead to not gain more weight. If it is snoring that causes their fatness, then merely reducing the food will not contribute to the weight control, since the cause, snoring, is still there. Besides, it might be even worse for them to eat less, since they have already lost good sleep, losing in nutrition from food might make them more tired and weak.  Therefore the prescription the author gives might be a harmful one. It is highly reasonable that the author should have suggested those people to change their sleeping habit, and try to reduce their snoring, rather than talking about the food.

In sum, the argument above is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more solid, the author would have to provide more detailed evidence to prove that the result of the new study is reliable, the snoring is really the cause of gaining weight, and that eating less and exercising more is the good solution.

560 words after polish.

meautoUID: 2116250

我要什么时候阿狗写500字
睡觉都要留口水

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

Argument145  
------摘要------
作者：寄托4人组     共用时间：30分2秒     511 words
从2005年7月17日20时33分到2005年7月17日21时30分
------题目------
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
------正文------
By appealing to a new study and a well-known phenomenon: apnea, the author in this argument suggests people who snore should eat less and exercise more. I will argue, however, a close scrutiny will reveal several critical flaws that undermine the author's argument.

To begin with, the validity and representativeness of the new study is open to doubt. The author does not give us any detailed information on how the study was conducted, how many people got involved in this study, what the age and physical situation of these people are, and whether/ delete other reasons that might cause gaining weight are excluded. If, for example, the researchers only studied very few people, and they are in an age easier to gain weight for instance?, then the result of the study is not representative to most population/ delete. Equally possible is that those/ 指代不明,这里的those 是谁？ people have a preference of eating meet rather than eating vegetables, so it might be the food structure, not snoring, that really causes their gaining weigh.

Even granted that the study is valid and representative, the author still fails to give solid evidence that apnea leave the person too tired to exercise. Although in many cases people feeling tired are reluctant to exercise, yet for many other people, exercising is one way to be reduce/ relieve their tiredness. By jogging, walking, bicycling, for instance, they will build themselves strong bodies and feel better the next day. Without a concrete survey whether those suffering from apnea are willing to exercise or not, the author just takes it for granted that tired people fail to do more body exercise.
        
Even accepted that the author is right that these people are really reluctant to do exercise, it does not necessarily follow that they should try to do more exercise. Under such a condition of gaining weight and feeling tired, exercising might be very harmful to their health, for their body might become weak and needs more rest than average/ average指的是average people 还是这些人的usual time ?. More exercise, on the contrary, might do nothing but make them fell even tired. Therefore, perhaps what we should do is to suggest them not to exercise more, but have more rest. The author does not offer any information to exclude this worry./possibility

Moreover, the author also fails to prove that they/把它指代地东西说出来感觉会更清晰 really should try to eat less, out of the concern of losing / gaining 好些吧，因为他们担心地是体重增加weight. No evidence is given in the argument that eating less than average will lead to not gaining/to在这里是介词 more weight. If it is snoring that causes their fatness, then merely reducing the food will not contribute to the weight control, since the cause, snoring, is still there. Besides, it might be even worse for them to eat less, since they have already lost good sleep, losing in nutrition from food might make them more tired and weak.  Therefore the prescription the author gives might be a harmful one. It is highly reasonable that the author should have suggested those people to change their sleeping habit, and try to reduce their snoring, rather than talking about the food.

In sum, the argument above is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more solid, the author would have to provide more detailed evidence to prove that the result of the new study is reliable, the snoring is really the cause of gaining weight, and that eating less and exercising more is the good solution.

560 words after polish.
这篇批的一气呵成，层层递进在这篇里用非常的合适，语言也很简洁有效，按今天这两篇作文的标准坚持下去，高分是不成问题地！

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

relieve 和lead to＋n救命了。多谢！